Recovering a Child Presently With a Grandparent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: WA & ID

Last November, my wife passed away in Washington State; we were still married at the time. She had possession of our son, who has just turned 3. We had been separated for a little over a year, with no separation/custody agreement made. My name is on the Birth Certificate. This is not a case of abandonment. I communicated with her regularly, and sent her the things she needed for our boy. Before she died, we had agreed that I would come up to Washington to get him around Christmas (I live in Texas), but she died earlier than we expected. It was at that point, her mother took possession of my son. She did not even bother to tell me that my wife had died. I found out through a mutual friend. She clearly stated that she was not going to return him to me before she changed her number, and I was unable to find her. I immediately drove to Washington to search for her. I laid down a couple thousand to retain a lawyer in Washington, who filed a Writ of Habeas Corpus. The Sheriff's department tried for about a week to find her, and reported that all signs point to Idaho (where she lived previously). My lawyer is not licensed in Idaho. They attempted to get the case transferred to Idaho, but the Judge in Idaho refuses to sign. Police in Idaho will not get involved because its a "civil issue". I am not even able to file so much as a missing person's report. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children tell me there is nothing they can do until a missing persons report is filed. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday have all passed, and I am powerless. Even my lawyer feels like we're beating our heads against the wall.

After about 6 weeks spent up north, I had to return to Texas to keep from losing my job. Since then I have learned where she lives and works, and I plan to make a return trip in the middle of March. My lawyer in Washington says that I should be able to simply walk up and take him. I need to know when I make this trip, I will be successful this time. Any ideas at this point would be most welcome.

This is very worrisome. Grandma is not the child's legal guardian - unless she and Mom somehow did that before Mom died - and if that's the case Grandma should be in a LOT of trouble.

The case won't be transferred to Idaho, no, because Idaho doesn't have jurisdiction over the child or anything else for that matter.

I'm not entirely sure why nobody will take action. Going purely by what you've stated, this IS kidnapping and she's gone over state lines which just makes it worse.

Were you ever given a reason why law enforcement wouldn't act?

If you know you're going to be in the area, ask the police to accompany you while you retrieve your child.

Grandma claims that there is a will naming her as custodian, and she also claims that she has temporary custody. According to my lawyer, if a will exists, it means nothing. And, nothing was ever filed in Idaho or Washing for temporary custody.
The police in both states were helping at first. They accompanied me to a couple of places that we thought she might be, but after a while of searching they refused to do any more without an order. My lawyer has been pushing them to press something, anything criminal that would make them search harder for her. They were calling her, but she was not taking any of their phone calls, and now she's changed her number. Washington points to Idaho, and Idaho won't do anything without orders.
I don't know if I'm just not speaking to the right people or saying/asking the right things, but the system is really failing me right now.

The only resolution I can see at this point, is to literally snatch my own kid back. Because, if I can't do anything about her stealing him, she sure as hell can't do anything either. Is that logical, or am I losing it?

Your attorney is correct - you cannot will your child, so even if Mom has made a standby guardianship, unless there are issues with you being unfit it's not going to hold up in court.

You won't be snatch or stealing him - this is YOUR child, not hers.

There are no grey areas here, and grandparents have faced felony kidnapping charges before now. Please work with your attorney. You should not have to give up anything in order to see your child.

I know you're working on it, but take advantage of the info here:

http://www.missingkids.com/MissingChild

And here (much of the same information, but also addresses using the media to your advantage)

http://www.ojjdp.gov/pubs/childismissing/introck.html

I live in Washington state - so go here, too: http://www.wsp.wa.gov/crime/mpu.htm

Use Facebook. Get the word out. https://www.facebook.com/NationalMis...ashingtonState

Thank you so much for taking time to help me! Much appreciated!