Grandparent Seeking Custody of Granddaughter

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma

My 20 year old daughter left my home(where she was currently living) on February 7, 2014 and left her daughter in my care and said that she would be back in 2 days. Three days later she contacted me by phone and was very hostile and demanded that I get home and give her her daughter. I asked her if she was moving out and she said yes. I asked her if she had a stable place to go and she said not yet but maybe in a week or so. I advised her that it would be in the child's best interest to remain at my home until she was stable and had a job. She replied with f*** you. Eight hours later she returned to my home with the Sheriff and attempted to gain access to the child but was denied by the Sheriff because he told her that he could smell marijuana on her person. She then began to brag to him how she smokes all the time and made an attempt at a sexual driven statement. He advised her to return the following day and try to work things out. The next evening at 9pm she called from a different number and said that she filed kidnapping charges against me and my husband. We asked her to come home and talk to us and she again replied f*** you, motherf******. That was on February 11th. She has not made any attempt to contact me or my husband since then and has not seen her child or attempted to see her child since she left on the 7th. She also told us on February 6th she accidently shot someone in the knee with an Ak. She has been in and out of drug counseling since she was caught shoplifting when she was 16 years old and has never passed a drug test. A friend of hers called me yesterday and said that she is super skinny and looks horrible and seems to be strung out on dope and is hanging out with a known drug dealer and has dyed her hair orange and smells like she hasn't showered in a few days. The Sheriff came to my home yesterday to check up on the case and I told him that she has not contacted us since the day after he came out the first time. He advised us to proceed to gain custody of the child. He would be filing his report with DHS sometime this week and talking with them about the details. Is there a good chance that I can get custody of my granddaughter and how should I go about doing so, I have little money for a lawyer.

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Quoting adenman

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma

My 20 year old daughter left my home(where she was currently living) on February 7, 2014 and left her daughter in my care and said that she would be back in 2 days. Three days later she contacted me by phone and was very hostile and demanded that I get home and give her her daughter. I asked her if she was moving out and she said yes. I asked her if she had a stable place to go and she said not yet but maybe in a week or so. I advised her that it would be in the child's best interest to remain at my home until she was stable and had a job.

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That was a big mistake on your part. This is the mother of the child - you do not get to decide when she can see her child.

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She replied with f*** you. Eight hours later she returned to my home with the Sheriff and attempted to gain access to the child but was denied by the Sheriff because he told her that he could smell marijuana on her person.

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If she's got any sense she'll file a complaint for the absolutely out of line actions of the Sheriff.

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She then began to brag to him how she smokes all the time and made an attempt at a sexual driven statement. He advised her to return the following day and try to work things out. The next evening at 9pm she called from a different number and said that she filed kidnapping charges against me and my husband. We asked her to come home and talk to us and she again replied f*** you, motherf******. That was on February 11th.

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So basically you've withheld the child?

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She has not made any attempt to contact me or my husband since then and has not seen her child or attempted to see her child since she left on the 7th. She also told us on February 6th she accidently shot someone in the knee with an Ak. She has been in and out of drug counseling since she was caught shoplifting when she was 16 years old and has never passed a drug test. A friend of hers called me yesterday and said that she is super skinny and looks horrible and seems to be strung out on dope and is hanging out with a known drug dealer and has dyed her hair orange and smells like she hasn't showered in a few days. The Sheriff came to my home yesterday to check up on the case and I told him that she has not contacted us since the day after he came out the first time. He advised us to proceed to gain custody of the child. He would be filing his report with DHS sometime this week and talking with them about the details. Is there a good chance that I can get custody of my granddaughter and how should I go about doing so, I have little money for a lawyer.

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The Sheriff is so out of line I can't really think of the right words.

See, this is the problem. If the Sheriff - who is a MANDATED REPORTER - saw abuse or negligence, he is LEGALLY OBLIGED to get child services involved.

He has not done that. You have not done that.

You're really not going to like this, but to an outsider this is a case where a fit mother (she's not unfit until the court says she is) has been denied her own child.

Because of your actions (and those of the Sheriff), I'd be surprised if it even got past the first hearing. Sorry, but you've messed up here. When Mom gets her child, she's likely to disappear with her child.

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Quoting adenman

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma

My 20 year old daughter left my home(where she was currently living) on February 7, 2014 and left her daughter in my care and said that she would be back in 2 days. Three days later she contacted me by phone and was very hostile and demanded that I get home and give her her daughter. I asked her if she was moving out and she said yes. I asked her if she had a stable place to go and she said not yet but maybe in a week or so. I advised her that it would be in the child's best interest to remain at my home until she was stable and had a job. She replied with f*** you. Eight hours later she returned to my home with the Sheriff and attempted to gain access to the child but was denied by the Sheriff because he told her that he could smell marijuana on her person. She then began to brag to him how she smokes all the time and made an attempt at a sexual driven statement. He advised her to return the following day and try to work things out. The next evening at 9pm she called from a different number and said that she filed kidnapping charges against me and my husband. We asked her to come home and talk to us and she again replied f*** you, motherf******. That was on February 11th. She has not made any attempt to contact me or my husband since then and has not seen her child or attempted to see her child since she left on the 7th. She also told us on February 6th she accidently shot someone in the knee with an Ak. She has been in and out of drug counseling since she was caught shoplifting when she was 16 years old and has never passed a drug test. A friend of hers called me yesterday and said that she is super skinny and looks horrible and seems to be strung out on dope and is hanging out with a known drug dealer and has dyed her hair orange and smells like she hasn't showered in a few days. The Sheriff came to my home yesterday to check up on the case and I told him that she has not contacted us since the day after he came out the first time. He advised us to proceed to gain custody of the child. He would be filing his report with DHS sometime this week and talking with them about the details. Is there a good chance that I can get custody of my granddaughter and how should I go about doing so, I have little money for a lawyer.

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I have to agree with the previous poster...you have gone about this the wrong way. I disagree that the sheriff did the wrong thing since he did smell marijuana on her person. Even though she does have total rights to the child I think that the sheriff was within his bounds as an officer to refuse to force you to turn the child over to her at that precise moment. Although it would have been better if he had arrested her at that point.

However, the previous poster seemed to miss the part where the officer said he would be filing a report with DHS this week...and that might be your saving grace.

Absolutely, positively do NOT attempt to file for custody now. You have no basis to do so at this point...or at least, no viable basis without getting an attorney involved, which it appears you cannot afford.

Wait and see what happens with DHS and wait and see what happens with your daughter. The longer she is silent, the greater your chances of succeeding.

The previous poster didn't miss a thing.

The previous poster believes that if law enforcement didn't act when the child was allegedly in danger - and sorry, "smelling like pot" doesn't even come close in my opinion - then law enforcement may well be thinking the same thing.

If the child was in danger, why was there no arrest? Why was there no contact with DHS?

If the officer was filing a report "later this week," then even HE felt there was no emergent situation because in emergent situations, you call DHS NOW, not later when you get a chance. Smelling like marijuana could have come from anywhere and doesn't mean the person themselves has ingested any of it.

What I can't understand is all this wait and see by both the OP, the sheriff and llworking if there are definitely signs of abuse and/or neglect, call DHS and get a social worker involved IMMEDIATELY. Tomorrow, this girl could theoretically pick up her child and disappear and then you'll be back to telling grandmama that she's SOL.

I never smell like marijuana. And I'd be hard pressed to think of a (normal) situation in which I would. (now back to your regular discussion.)

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Quoting CourtClerk

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If the officer was filing a report "later this week," then even HE felt there was no emergent situation because in emergent situations, you call DHS NOW, not later when you get a chance. Smelling like marijuana could have come from anywhere and doesn't mean the person themselves has ingested any of it.

What I can't understand is all this wait and see by both the OP, the sheriff and llworking if there are definitely signs of abuse and/or neglect, call DHS and get a social worker involved IMMEDIATELY. Tomorrow, this girl could theoretically pick up her child and disappear and then you'll be back to telling grandmama that she's SOL.

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I am confused...

Isn't a report by the police officer stronger than a report made by grandma? If the police officer is going to make a report to DHS wouldn't that be better than a report made by grandma?

The only "waiting" that I was suggesting was waiting for DHS results before attempting to file for custody.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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The previous poster didn't miss a thing.

The previous poster believes that if law enforcement didn't act when the child was allegedly in danger - and sorry, "smelling like pot" doesn't even come close in my opinion - then law enforcement may well be thinking the same thing.

If the child was in danger, why was there no arrest? Why was there no contact with DHS?

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The child wasn't in danger. The child was with grandma. The police officer declined to assist mom in removing the child from grandma. The police officer says that he is going to make a report to DHS now. I am not suggesting that the whole thing was handled properly at the time...I am only suggesting that the police officer making the report now may save the situation.

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Quoting mmmagique

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I never smell like marijuana. And I'd be hard pressed to think of a (normal) situation in which I would. (now back to your regular discussion.)

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I can remember a time when I took the public trains to work and 2 people decided it was a good time to smoke a joint right on the train. By time time I got off the train, there was marijuana smoke in my hair and on my clothing.

Fairly regularly I would have to come in contact with people who smoke (tobacco) at work. Sometimes I can smell it on me all day

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Quoting llworking

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Isn't a report by the police officer stronger than a report made by grandma?

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No, a report made is a report made. The officer isn't going to say anything in his report grandma can't say. What would happen if the officer left the scene and was involved in an accident that left him incapacitated? Are we still going to wait on that report? DHS is required to investigate ALL reports made to them, regardless of where they come from and unless the reporter has a history of making multiple false reports, there's no reason to not give it the same weight as the person reporting with a uniform on.

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If the police officer is going to make a report to DHS wouldn't that be better than a report made by grandma?

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No. Let's give another hypothetical. Let's say the next day the child goes with mom and then is killed. The officer was waiting until "later in the week" to make a report. What good is it then?

What CC said.

Makes sense.