How to Get Modification of Custody With No Lawyer

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MD

Before I proceed on my own I wanted to get other opinions. I have an established CO that has been in place for quite a while. We have a 4 year old daughter. Our CO is completely 50/50. Physical, legal and time. No one is listed as the primary parent or residence. Which is creating conflict now that her father has brought up the issue of schooling. We don't live near each other. Currently about 50 miles one way from each other. Her current daycare is in neither one of our housing districts. We can't decide about school. I have sent written communication about this issue and others because verbal doesn't go so well. It always winds up being a case of he said she said. So I decided to put an end to that and do the communication in writing. Which he ignores, doesn't acknowledge or respond to. When I called him about another issue today I asked him if we could be more conscious about discussing future education plans within ear shot of our daughter because it is making it progressively harder when taking her to daycare. The conversation started churning and I told him that I have tried to contact him several times regarding the issue and even offering mediation to avoid having a judge tell us what to do with our daughter. I was informed #1 that he changed his email address. #2 that he would be making the decision regarding her school. That he feels I have no say in this. And that it is his sole decision to make. I tried to explain that as the CO stands it is a joint decision and if we can't decide together we would either have to go to mediation or back to court for a judge to decide. He flat out told me that he is deciding. Mediation was rejected on his end. I would assume my next step would be to file for a modification of the CO. However they ask the reason why and I am not sure what exactly to write because I don't want to make it adversary. Also, since he has run so many shenanigans my lawyer basically decided she wants no parts of this due to his behavior, attitude, disrespect and abuse of time. I ultimately would like to try to be listed as the primary parent with her residence being my residence. (School zone is better, she is involved in activities, more stability, etc.) How hard will that be to achieve if I don't have a lawyer? My funds were pretty much completely depleted by the time he wasted on the last hearing. It took almost a YEAR to get the order signed from our court date because of him.

You're 50 miles apart and you're doing a 50/50 timeshare?

Oh my word.

Well, the chances of that being successful once she's in school are slim to none. File to modify based on child's age and school needs. Be prepared to show why your choice in schools is better than Dad's (it shouldn't be hard to find a comparison).

Have you thought about using FamilyWizard as a means to communicate? It can be invaluable if you're dealing with a not-so-cooperative parent.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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You're 50 miles apart and you're doing a 50/50 timeshare?

Oh my word.

Well, the chances of that being successful once she's in school are slim to none. File to modify based on child's age and school needs. Be prepared to show why your choice in schools is better than Dad's (it shouldn't be hard to find a comparison).

Have you thought about using FamilyWizard as a means to communicate? It can be invaluable if you're dealing with a not-so-cooperative parent.

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I agree...however, be prepared. You only have a 50/50 chance of prevailing unless you can definitely show that your schools are better. Is there no possible way that moving closer to dad would work...so that 50/50 could still be maintained?

Initially it wasn't 50 miles. And I was the primary parent. However, I felt it wasn't my right or duty to keep her from her father. So I agreed to the 50/50 split. I know that she loves him and I don't want to be the one standing in between her relationship with her father. However, he moved south of the county we initially lived in and I moved north of the county we lived in. And now it's just creating an issue. Part of my issues are that the daycare she currently is in is not structured very well. I asked for the lesson plan for the pre k program and it was a mess. I looked into some daycare facilities by my house and they are all structured with a criteria for each month. The schools in my area are better rated on the mdreportcard website. She is involved in activities by my house. When I talk to her and ask her things like how was her weekend, she becomes quite irritated saying that she never does anything. Or that her dad doesn't pick her up from daycare. (He sends his gf to pick her up. Apparently this daycare was chosen because it is right by her work so he never has to do the pick up or drop off.) That in itself is an additional 7 miles each way. I would like to be fair but there is just no way to do that. In his eyes it's his way or no way! He will not go for the FamilyWizzard. According to him he doesn't have time or want to spend the time communicating any other way than verbally. He doesn't want to do anything what so ever in writing because then he can't lie...And when we do things verbally he is aggressive, calls nasty names, and then says conversations didn't take place and denies any acknowledgement. He's even done this to me when I've tried to be accommodating to him about holiday schedules.

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There really isn't any way to move closer. I want to buy a home. He currently lives right on the Baltimore City/County line. That is not where I want to live. There are 19 sex offenders within a 1 mile radius of his address. 6 of which have committed sexual crimes against children. And 6 of which have committed forcible sexual acts. Plus, he does not work where he lives. It is not a good area. He works all over the state. He does remodel construction so he is never in the same place. However, his company is based out of the county we previously resided in. I tried to speak to him about schooling there, which would be good for both parties. But he completely denied it because his gf is a teacher near the current daycare and she is the one who does the pick up and drop off. He doesn't want to handle any of that so she would never be able to do the transportation required for that.

Mom, you can't complain about the area if you've been fine with 50/50.

(Ask the judge to actually order FamilyWizard ;) )

I never was fine with the area. He moved post 50/50. That is not where he lived when we went to court for the CO.

Let me rephrase.

You've been fine with him continuing with 50/50.

If you weren't fine, that was the time to raise the issue. Not now.

I was simply stating that no it is not an area that I would personally move to and why. With the schools not being good as one of my top reasons. I was replying when someone asked about moving close to dad. Furthermore, when I did have objections about his living area I was instructed to not make an issue out of it as it would be considered petty...

The point was no matter how much you dislike where Dad lives, it's a non-issue.

I understand that.

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If it's a non issue then why was I asked about moving there? This isn't making much sense.