Terminating an Absent Parents Rights

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York and Florida. I currently live in Florida but my child support case is in New York. My son's father has never met my son and is not on the birth certificate. When I told him I was pregnant he told me he did not want me to have the child and if I chose to continue the pregnancy then he wanted nothing to do with us. I moved out that day and have not seen him since. I do still speak to his mother and sisters and they tell me, that he tells them, since we have no custody agreement that he's just going to show up and take my child and make me fight to get him back, mind you he has never contacted me and asked to have any sort of contact with my now 5 year old. I was wondering if I could terminate his rights so I do not have to continually worry if I'm going to see my child again when I drop him off at school or if god forbid something happens to me and my son is sent to live with a stranger instead of the only family he's ever known. (while I speak to his fathers family I've only met them once when I drove 8 hours to go see them). Please help any advice would be great, I do not care if this means terminating child support as well.

If you want to terminate the father's rights, you need to be thinking about stepparent adoption. You don't indicate that you've remarried, so that may be a long-term project.

For adoption, abandonment is defined as follows:

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Quoting Florida Statutes, Sec. 63.089(4). Proceeding to terminate parental rights pending adoption; hearing; grounds; dismissal of petition; judgment.

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(4) FINDING OF ABANDONMENT.—A finding of abandonment resulting in a termination of parental rights must be based upon clear and convincing evidence that a parent or person having legal custody has abandoned the child in accordance with the definition contained in s. 63.032. A finding of abandonment may also be based upon emotional abuse or a refusal to provide reasonable financial support, when able, to a birth mother during her pregnancy.

(a) In making a determination of abandonment at a hearing for termination of parental rights under this chapter, the court shall consider, among other relevant factors not inconsistent with this section:

1. Whether the actions alleged to constitute abandonment demonstrate a willful disregard for the safety or welfare of the child or the unborn child;

2. Whether the person alleged to have abandoned the child, while being able, failed to provide financial support;

3. Whether the person alleged to have abandoned the child, while being able, failed to pay for medical treatment; and

4. Whether the amount of support provided or medical expenses paid was appropriate, taking into consideration the needs of the child and relative means and resources available to the person alleged to have abandoned the child.

(b) The child has been abandoned when the parent of a child is incarcerated on or after October 1, 2001, in a federal, state, or county correctional institution and:

1. The period of time for which the parent has been or is expected to be incarcerated will constitute a significant portion of the child’s minority. In determining whether the period of time is significant, the court shall consider the child’s age and the child’s need for a permanent and stable home. The period of time begins on the date that the parent enters into incarceration;

2. The incarcerated parent has been determined by a court of competent jurisdiction to be a violent career criminal as defined in s. 775.084, a habitual violent felony offender as defined in s. 775.084, convicted of child abuse as defined in s. 827.03, or a sexual predator as defined in s. 775.21; has been convicted of first degree or second degree murder in violation of s. 782.04 or a sexual battery that constitutes a capital, life, or first degree felony violation of s. 794.011; or has been convicted of a substantially similar offense in another jurisdiction. As used in this section, the term “substantially similar offense” means any offense that is substantially similar in elements and penalties to one of those listed in this subparagraph, and that is in violation of a law of any other jurisdiction, whether that of another state, the District of Columbia, the United States or any possession or territory thereof, or any foreign jurisdiction; or

3. The court determines by clear and convincing evidence that continuing the parental relationship with the incarcerated parent would be harmful to the child and, for this reason, termination of the parental rights of the incarcerated parent is in the best interest of the child.

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Quoting Florida Statutes, Sec. 63.032(1). Definitions.

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As used in this chapter, the term:

(1) “Abandoned” means a situation in which the parent or person having legal custody of a child, while being able, makes no provision for the child’s support and makes little or no effort to communicate with the child, which situation is sufficient to evince an intent to reject parental responsibilities. If, in the opinion of the court, the efforts of such parent or person having legal custody of the child to support and communicate with the child are only marginal efforts that do not evince a settled purpose to assume all parental duties, the court may declare the child to be abandoned. In making this decision, the court may consider the conduct of a father towards the child’s mother during her pregnancy.

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If your ex- is paying support as ordered then you're not going to be able to meet the statutory definition of "abandonment", and thus should be considering whether the father will consent to stepparent adoption.

Given the amount of time you have been in Florida, you should consider bringing a custody action in your state to establish yourself as the sole custodian, either with no visitation rights to dad (based upon his lack of interest or contact), for any contact or visitation to be left to your discretion, or a similarly restrictive provision. I suggest discussing this approach with a custody lawyer, taking along to your appointment the documentation from the New York proceedings in order to ensure that this would be the first custody proceeding, as opposed to a proceeding you would have to initiate by getting jurisdiction transferred from New York. A child support order of itself would not prevent Florida from having jurisdiction over custody proceedings, but sometimes a support order will include generic language relating to custody that would vest continuing exclusive jurisdiction in the state that issued the order.

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Quoting catrn720

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York and Florida. I currently live in Florida but my child support case is in New York. My son's father has never met my son and is not on the birth certificate. When I told him I was pregnant he told me he did not want me to have the child and if I chose to continue the pregnancy then he wanted nothing to do with us. I moved out that day and have not seen him since. I do still speak to his mother and sisters and they tell me, that he tells them, since we have no custody agreement that he's just going to show up and take my child and make me fight to get him back, mind you he has never contacted me and asked to have any sort of contact with my now 5 year old. I was wondering if I could terminate his rights so I do not have to continually worry if I'm going to see my child again when I drop him off at school or if god forbid something happens to me and my son is sent to live with a stranger instead of the only family he's ever known. (while I speak to his fathers family I've only met them once when I drove 8 hours to go see them). Please help any advice would be great, I do not care if this means terminating child support as well.

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Mr. Knowitall gave you very good advice and I will also add that dad simply cannot "take" the child and make you fight to give the child back...that is a pure bluff designed to scare you because he is angry about paying child support. Seriously, think about it? Is he really going to come all the way from NY to even attempt to do that? Does he even know what school your child attends in order to even attempt to take the child from school?

You have sole legal and physical custody until a court says otherwise. Even if paternity was established due to the child support case that gives him no custodial rights at all. You don't even have to answer the door if he somehow shows up at your home. Seriously, unless you are foolish enough to voluntarily hand the child over to him without court orders already established for custody, that simply is not going to happen.