How Does Dependence on State Aid Affect Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Vermont

My wife and I are currently attempting to gain full custody of her son. we went through mediation before where she was told that our combined income could not be used and the fact that our house hold income was 3 times that of her Ex did not matter since she, herself was not working. this was almost 4 years ago now he is currently living with his girlfriend with their child is not married, working 2 jobs and on State assistance for health insurance and food stamps. With both of them working they cannot keep their phone turned on or maintain a dependable mode of transportation. He also is in violation of the original agreement in the fact that my Wife is supposed to approve of the child care facility and the grandparents are to be allowed to pick the child up within reason for visitation. With all that being said I am currently active duty military and do not live in VT. My wife is a stay at home mother. We are not on any form of state assistance. My question is how does the court view being on state assistance when the other parent is not and how much relevance does him not following the current order play into a new decision.

You have not indicated anything that would be a change of circumstances. That is usually needed for a compelling change of custody. The child care facility is likely being paid for by the gov't. They may be deciding who is to be used or at least limit the choices. If your wife does not like their living conditions, tell her to get a job and support her kids better.

My wife lives with me and we are about to move due to new Orders. My wife is happy with her living conditions and I make more than enough for us to live comfortably.

Then as I noted there is no change in circumstances to warrant a custody change. The court will accept that she has no desire to willingly support her children in a manner consistent with general society. It will not accept her doing so as an end run around the fitness of the other parent.

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Quoting Terryj1988

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My wife lives with me and we are about to move due to new Orders. My wife is happy with her living conditions and I make more than enough for us to live comfortably.

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So it is socially unacceptable to be a stay at home mother when your married and have stable income to support?

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Quoting Terryj1988

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Vermont

My wife and I are currently attempting to gain full custody of her son. we went through mediation before where she was told that our combined income could not be used and the fact that our house hold income was 3 times that of her Ex did not matter since she, herself was not working. this was almost 4 years ago now he is currently living with his girlfriend with their child is not married, working 2 jobs and on State assistance for health insurance and food stamps. With both of them working they cannot keep their phone turned on or maintain a dependable mode of transportation. He also is in violation of the original agreement in the fact that my Wife is supposed to approve of the child care facility and the grandparents are to be allowed to pick the child up within reason for visitation. With all that being said I am currently active duty military and do not live in VT. My wife is a stay at home mother. We are not on any form of state assistance. My question is how does the court view being on state assistance when the other parent is not and how much relevance does him not following the current order play into a new decision.

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The court cannot penalize a parent for needing assistance. The court may order Mom pays more child support.

Please write - word for word, minus names - EXACTLY what the court order says regarding child care and the grandparents.

And to clarify, are we assuming that Dad has primary?

Nope it is simply not grounds to present it in a round about way as a reason to change custody.

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Quoting Terryj1988

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So it is socially unacceptable to be a stay at home mother when your married and have stable income to support?

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Stepdad, let me ask you a question. If the family court decided to make your wife pay child support based on YOUR income, meaning possibly thousands of dollars going to dad, would you be ok with that?

How many total times has your wife been married and how many children does she have?

Why were you present in mediation?

I'd say that on top of the fact that there is no change of circumstances to warrant a petition to modify custody, and on top of the fact that mom can't use dad's getting assistance against him if the child is being provided for (how much support does mom pay, anyway?), the fact that you will be MOVING soon just shot through what little to no chance she didn't really have. AND mom doesn't live near her child as it is now? Am I reading that correctly?