Do You Have to Reimburse Somebody Who Paid Child Support for Your Child

My question involves child support in the State of: I just found out last year in june that my three year old daughter was mine I was never even informed that she was pregnant I found out by chance on my own accord. After going through a nasty court battle with her I finally got rights this December that just passed, now she is telling me that I will have to pay back 3 years back support from the guy who was thought to be the father. Am I going to have to pay for those three years plus what I have to pay already? Even though I never knew I had a kid and he wasn't paying I don't see why I should have to pay that back support but I know the mother will try to enforce it.

Who has ordered you to repay support?

(clue: it's not the court, is it?)

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Am I going to have to pay for those three years plus what I have to pay already?

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No court order, no back support.

And it's unlikely that you'll be ordered to pay back support, as typical retroactive support only dates back to when child support was first petitioned for, not retroactive to birth.

Unfortunately for OP, in his state (CT) child support can go back to birth.

Conn.Gen.Stat. 46b-171

The mother is claiming that they just had court date recently with the other guy thought to be the father present and during that court date she claims that it was brought up I would have to pay back support for three years missed. I wasn't present for this because I wasn't scheduled for that day. Can I fight this at all? I mean I have no problem paying from the time I found out until she is 18 but I never knew she was my child at all for those three years I don't think that's fair.

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I mean I have no problem paying from the time I found out until she is 18 but I never knew she was my child at all for those three years I don't think that's fair.

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Why should it make such a difference to you? If she's yours, she's yours, and you're legally obligated to support her. Why should someone else be paying your bills simply because you didn't know?

That said, if you haven't received anything from the courts, you only owe what your current order says you owe.

To missy, I do what I have to do as a father whenever the mother asked for something I give. As heartless as she is (denying me to see my child for over a half of year)I still help I even give her money for my daughter off the books sometimes which I probably shouldn't do because she probably just blows it on herself. Yes you are right I am obligated but i'm also not going to sit there and let the court control me. I am not a guy who's not spending any time with his kid and just complaining about money I just don't think this is at all fair. Owing that much back support makes me feel like they think I knew about my daughter that whole time it's not right, especially if your already providing for your child.

Did your child not require food, clothing and shelter for the first 3 years of her life? If so, you have a compelling argument. Otherwise, guess what, daddy must support is child if the court orders it.

Okay, now she's lying. Blatantly and poorly.

She doesn't get to "double dip", and neither will the State.

Of course you could ask her for the docket information, or perhaps just the case number... ;)

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Quoting Disagreeable

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Did your child not require food, clothing and shelter for the first 3 years of her life? If so, you have a compelling argument. Otherwise, guess what, daddy must support is child if the court orders it.

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The other guy was paying. He won't be reimbursed.

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Quoting Disagreeable

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Did your child not require food, clothing and shelter for the first 3 years of her life? If so, you have a compelling argument. Otherwise, guess what, daddy must support is child if the court orders it.

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However the emphasize, again, is on "if the court orders it". So far that has not happened. Usually, if that happens, it happens when the initial orders are made.

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but i'm also not going to sit there and let the court control me.

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Unless you're interested in living in a little room with bars on it, yes, you most certainly WILL "let" the court control you. When the court says "Frog", buddy, you'd best get to jumpin' til the court says to stop.

But, again, if you don't have a court order to the contrary, you only owe what the court already has you paying. I do not understand why people are so invested in what their exes say. They can say whatever they want, but it doesn't mean a damned thing. You're only on the hook for what the court says you're on the hook for, regardless of whatever your ex claims.

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As heartless as she is (denying me to see my child for over a half of year)

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Pffft. In the absence of a court order, she is not legally obligated to allow you to see the child, no matter how much money you hand over.

Step up, Papi, and get court ordered visitation.

It may be worth your time to talk to some family law attorneys in your area. Many will offer free 30 minute consulations.

If you are called to court, it may be in your best interest to have an attorney. What that judge decides will impact you for the next 18 years or more.