Collection and Enforcement: Do You Have to Reimburse Somebody Who Paid Child Support for Your Child

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but i'm also not going to sit there and let the court control me.

Unless you're interested in living in a little room with bars on it, yes, you most certainly WILL "let" the court control you. When the court says "Frog", buddy, you'd best get to jumpin' til the court says to stop.

But, again, if you don't have a court order to the contrary, you only owe what the court already has you paying. I do not understand why people are so invested in what their exes say. They can say whatever they want, but it doesn't mean a damned thing. You're only on the hook for what the court says you're on the hook for, regardless of whatever your ex claims.

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As heartless as she is (denying me to see my child for over a half of year)

Pffft. In the absence of a court order, she is not legally obligated to allow you to see the child, no matter how much money you hand over.

Step up, Papi, and get court ordered visitation.