Moving to Another State Against the Non-Custodial Parent's Wishes

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana. I have been having a lot of trouble. I am a single mother of a 3 year old boy. I just recently moved to the state of California. My sons father and I went through mediation with an agreement that I basically made up on my own. It state that I eliminate all of his unpaid child support as in he will not have to pay what he owes his son. Also eliminating the fact that he will ever have to pay child support as long as he pays 100 percent of my sons travel costs to see him. And last but not least I also dropped his 90 day sentience that he was going to have to do for again not paying child support. So of course since he no longer has to pay anything and all back pay was gone he said that I could move with my son. Now prior to all of this he was not in his sons life for the first year because to put it in a nice way he was doing a lot of things he wasn't supposed to do that he is on probation on for now. Once he came in to his life my son was about a year and a half and i agreed to let him see him as long as he contributed some thing like a pack of diapers and i would allow him to come every other week for an hour. I did this to make sure he was serious because well you can see why. He didn't follow through with the contributing and didn't like not being able to come when he chooses. On top of it all he kept harassing me that he was going to take me to court and bad mouthing me the whole time. So finally I got fed up with his actions and told him if he wants to take me to court fine but I will not take the harassment and bad mouthing any longer and you will not be a part of your sons life until you do so. March of 2012 he finally did so and was told to pay child support and will have supervised visitation due to him being a criminal and also my son having no idea who he is. He only paid child support on the days before court so he wouldn't have to go to jail. The judge caught on and was going to send him to jail on our next court date but that was turned in to mediation to try and work things out instead of wasting my money on court. So her I am he didn't have to pay so he sent me on my way. Now my problem, sorry for the long story I just want you to see the whole picture. I have been living in California now for about 3 months and he was supposed to come and take him for a week on Christmas but said things just didn't work out in his favor to come and pick him up. Also he started telling me how much of a bad person I am because in the agreement it states that he has to give me a 30 day notice of the date he is coming to get him plus the itinerary of the trip so i can buy myself a plane ticket to go and pick him up after the week is up because again he may pay 100 percent of his plane trip but since he is only 3 years old he has to be accompany by an adult ie on the way here him on the way back me. Well he never gave me any itinerary and was telling me 5 days before he had planed to come he was coming. Now when he calls my son never wants to talk to him because well he just doesn't like him. My sons words. I never talk badly of his father and i try and tell him "hey your dad misses you" or "hey how bout you give your dad a call he loves you" he just wants nothing to do with him. His father has even told me to my face he doesn't love him in the way he should and everyone knows a child knows when he is loved or not. Needless to say after this long story of this crazyness i endure every day. He is claiming he is going to make me move back to Indiana. Is that possible? Because i would have no place to go. He also threatens to take my son away from me. But all this time i am the one who has been supporting him all his life I am the one who puts a roof over his head and keep him happy. People always tell me my son his the happiest kid they have ever seen and the healthiest so even though im a good mother can he take him away from me or make me move back. Im honestly just tired of being called all these bad names, bad mouthed all over his public facebook and threaten every time i speak to him. Someone please give me some advice. I have a lawyer back in Indiana but he don"t quite help much except say don't worry about him.

Is Dad on unsupervised visitation yet?

You have to bear in mind that if the court does allow you to relocate, you may be ordered to pay 50% or 100% travel costs (you were the moving party)

Another piece of advice. The court is not going to be impressed with a 3 year old making such statements; very often those statements are (even subconsciously) a direct result of the parent handing down their feelings about the other parent.

The dad was granted unsupervised visitation right after the mediation. One month before I left he had the usual parenting guidelines of indiana 4 hours on wed and from Friday at 12 noon until Sunday at 6pm. The dad stated to me that all day long he wants to come home. I mean I do my best to encourage him to love his father but i just don't know how to do any more then i already do. He went a month with out calling his son already since i have been here and he only calls him maybe 2 times a week since then if that. In my eyes he is only fighting me not for his son. The man is bipolar as well and it doesnt help the situation. And yes in the agreement we have he pays for my sons round trip ticket and his own to come pick him up and i pay my round trip ticket to bring him back home he pays 100 percent because he doesnt have to pay child support. But its been 3 months and he hasnt came to get him. He has told me he was coming on Christmas. didnt. told me he is coming January second didnt follow the 30 day advance agreement once again and hes been informed of that many times. I may disagree with the way the man is as a person but I never talk badly about him around or to my son. He will make his own opinion of him as he grows.

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Sorry he has unsupervised visitation yes he got that right after the mediation and still does i left a month after he said i was allowed to leave.

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and im sorry did u read my long story? I have been relocated since October. i state in my writing the mediation agreement as well. i apologize for the length of it but its all important information.

OK, so Dad has regular visitation.

(Yes, I read it, thanks - my point is that such a clause may not stand up if it's challenged)

This is what I predict Dad is going to do:

File in court to fight the relocation. File for the "order" to be modified, and claim that you're only relocating to try and thwart the relationship with his son. He's clean, he's medicated now, and just wants a chance to be a good Dad.

Now we look at what Indiana actually says:

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IC 31-17-2.2-5
Motion to prevent relocation; burden of proof
Sec. 5. (a) Not later than sixty (60) days after receipt of the notice from the relocating individual under IC 31-14-13-10 or this chapter, a nonrelocating parent may file a motion seeking a temporary or permanent order to prevent the relocation of a child.
(b) On the request of either party, the court shall hold a full evidentiary hearing to grant or deny a relocation motion under subsection (a).
(c) The relocating individual has the burden of proof that the proposed relocation is made in good faith and for a legitimate reason.
(d) If the relocating individual meets the burden of proof under subsection (c), the burden shifts to the nonrelocating parent to show that the proposed relocation is not in the best interest of the child.
(e) If the nonrelocating parent fails to file a motion under subsection (a), the relocating individual who has custody of the child may relocate to the new residence.
As added by P.L.50-2006, SEC.7.

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Indiana uses a "shifting burden". In other words, if you can demonstrate that the move is in good faith, the burden shifts to Dad and he has to convince the court why the move shouldn't be allowed.

Finally - let's try to clarify, shall we?

Did you or did you not provide notice per the statute? I know you had an "agreement" - but since it also includes waiving child support in lieu of transportation you might have a problem if Dad changes his mind. Yes, he's allowed to change his mind.

I gave him a 30 days notice when i was leaving yes. I moved here because i was working two jobs to support my son and he wasnt helping in any way. My huge family lives here and they are helping me start a new life here by helping me take care of my son apply to go back to collage and finding a much better job. Also my grandmother has cancer and no one knows how much time she has. I didnt move out here to get back at him or take his son away. He has never done anything for his son. Other then once buy him a pair of shoes. If anything i stopped them from sending him to go to jail for not doing anything for his son. And how could he just change his mind. If i move back i will have no where to go. I apologize if i come off rude i in no way want to. Im just lost and scared. My son is my life you know.

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Oh and no he isnt medicated he gets ssi to pay for such medications but doesnt take them.

I know it sounds like I'm splitting hairs, but please bear with me because the answer to this question may be critical.

Did you give him notice in the correct manner?

(There's a whole list of requirements unfortunately)

If you want to take a look to check, here we go: http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/201...r17/ch2.2.html

Scroll down to IC 31-17-2.2-3 (Notice; information requirements)

I understand that he hasn't exactly been parent of the year - truly, I do understand. But if he's the type of person who can cause trouble just for the sake of causing it, you need to protect yourself.

So, read that and hopefully we'll know whether or not he's piddling into the wind or not.

Ok ill read it. I believe i did i told him my self first then i told my lawyer who sent the motion to move i think is what u call it as in he gave them my new address and the date i was to move. I know i thank you for your help in all this. He is one to start trouble and he is a con artist a verbal abuser he always knows how to get what he wants. I feel powerless and all i want is the best for my son. Im low on money so i cant afford a great lawyer but i have one who does his best. I just wish the court could see how bad this man truly is and how he has no real interest for my son but unfortunately all they see is they wanna keep a father in his life dead beat or not.

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Yea notice of intent to move my lawyer did all that.

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oh wait no i didnt do all of that. in the mediation it states that i just needed to tell him when i was moving as soon as i knew. but i did it 30days in advance just because. what i mean is i didnt give him a statement why in the mail. i mean i have a facebook conversation talking to him about why i moved basically telling him all that i told you. so there is written conversations about my move.

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The mediation also states that we will modify it in 2015 i did everything else just not a written reason why im moving it was just all explained in mediation. It was that day in mediation i told him my request to move. He agreed as soon as he found out all his debt was gone and that he didnt have to pay child support anymore.

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It was today that he stated he was going to make me move back to indiana. Because my son didnt want to talk and i was busy looking for apartments i didnt have time for the usual spend 20 mins trying to force my son to speak to him they he says he wants to skype. well i can not afford to buy a phone or a computer to do so and he continues to badger me about not having a job yet ( i do have income assistance from the state of California for the time being, still have tons of applications ive put out and still am for a new job.) i told him no i got mad and said Christmas presents and food and clothes are more important when supporting your son. He says i was was told not to send you any money. I said thats cool ill do it on my own like i have been. He states that i took his son a way. I stated you signed a paper stating i could. and well thats where it blew up nd he said im making you move back. its not the first time he has said that tho. im gonna be honest with you. I always hold my though allways have in ever confrentation but after so much stress he kills me with i snapped so now needless to say im afraid.

Okay. For tonight, don't fret anything. There's an Indiana expert who'll probably stop by. She may know whether your attorney's letter is enough.

*hold my tongue. *his lawyer told him not to send me anything.

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Ok thank you for all your help. I highly appreciate you taking time out to speak with me.

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Quoting Niknack

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Ok ill read it. I believe i did i told him my self first then i told my lawyer who sent the motion to move i think is what u call it as in he gave them my new address and the date i was to move. I know i thank you for your help in all this. He is one to start trouble and he is a con artist a verbal abuser he always knows how to get what he wants. I feel powerless and all i want is the best for my son. Im low on money so i cant afford a great lawyer but i have one who does his best. I just wish the court could see how bad this man truly is and how he has no real interest for my son but unfortunately all they see is they wanna keep a father in his life dead beat or not.

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Yea notice of intent to move my lawyer did all that.

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oh wait no i didnt do all of that. in the mediation it states that i just needed to tell him when i was moving as soon as i knew. but i did it 30days in advance just because. what i mean is i didnt give him a statement why in the mail. i mean i have a facebook conversation talking to him about why i moved basically telling him all that i told you. so there is written conversations about my move.

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The mediation also states that we will modify it in 2015 i did everything else just not a written reason why im moving it was just all explained in mediation. It was that day in mediation i told him my request to move. He agreed as soon as he found out all his debt was gone and that he didnt have to pay child support anymore.

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It was today that he stated he was going to make me move back to indiana. Because my son didnt want to talk and i was busy looking for apartments i didnt have time for the usual spend 20 mins trying to force my son to speak to him they he says he wants to skype. well i can not afford to buy a phone or a computer to do so and he continues to badger me about not having a job yet ( i do have income assistance from the state of California for the time being, still have tons of applications ive put out and still am for a new job.) i told him no i got mad and said Christmas presents and food and clothes are more important when supporting your son. He says i was was told not to send you any money. I said thats cool ill do it on my own like i have been. He states that i took his son a way. I stated you signed a paper stating i could. and well thats where it blew up nd he said im making you move back. its not the first time he has said that tho. im gonna be honest with you. I always hold my though allways have in ever confrentation but after so much stress he kills me with i snapped so now needless to say im afraid.

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Am I correct in understanding that your move was written into your mediation agreement? If that is the case, then dad cannot do squat about it. He is just saying that kind of stuff to make you miserable.