Is it a Good Idea to Change Custody Without Getting a New Order
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan
Son is 14 and want to stay with me. i keep telling him to ask his mom but mom wont talk to me about the issue. The last few days she has talked briefly and stated it is up to him, and then she stated that she wont stop him from going with me and if he want to come he can.. she got 7 kids or so i dont see why she wouldnt mind letting my son stay with me.
I stay in another state I visit him regularly or he stay with me in the summers.
Now the mom get SSI for her kids which is like $300 a month per kid. she refuses to sign over custody because she will lose out on the $300 but she now have no problem with him staying with me without a court order of custody. Basically she said come get him and he can stay with you.
I'm kind of leery about doing this without proper paperwork. My dad gained custody of me this way without the paperwork, he came and got me and i end up staying with him then after a year or so he filed for full custody and won.
Is there anything i should do on my behalf to save my butt or anything else before I pick him up to stay with me?
I know this can blow up later if she changes her mind which I doubt. She wont go through the courts. Is this a good ideal? Any Advice?
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
You and Mom need to be on the same page here. You can file a stipulated agreement with the court and that basically protects all of you.
You are absolutely right to be a little leery.
With regards to his school records, call them. Assuming you're the legal father, you're entitled to see them.
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
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Dogmatique
You and Mom need to be on the same page here. You can file a stipulated agreement with the court and that basically protects all of you.
You are absolutely right to be a little leery.
With regards to his school records, call them. Assuming you're the legal father, you're entitled to see them.
stipulated agreement??
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
You and Mom need to get it on paper and file it with the court.
Let's back up a second though - is there currently a custody order in place?
(Knowing this might change your options)
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
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Dogmatique
You and Mom need to get it on paper and file it with the court.
Let's back up a second though - is there currently a custody order in place?
(Knowing this might change your options)
No custody order in place besides the norm. she have custody now from birth
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
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itsjustme
No custody order in place besides the norm. she have custody now from birth
Status Quo, this is actually a VERY common situation. Mom doesn't want to lose custody 'on paper' because she will lose all the financial benefits of that custody, so as soon as you suggest legally changing custody, she'll refuse.
In most places, 6 months of the child living with you, is enough to constitute a 'significant change of circumstances' and file for a modification, but i'd wait a year if i were you. Now understand, at any point along these 6 months to a year, mom can change her mind about him staying with you and you'd have to return him, you could TRY filing then, but it's not guarenteed. BUT, if she doesn't you can file for a modification at the end and 9 times out of 10, receive custody.
It's risky, but if she is not agreeing to legally changing custody, but is fine with letting you have defacto custody, it's about the only option you have.
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itsjustme
I'm kind of leery about doing this without proper paperwork. My dad gained custody of me this way without the paperwork, he came and got me and i end up staying with him then after a year or so he filed for full custody and won.
Why are you leery about this? What was the result of your father doing this?
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
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itsjustme
No custody order in place besides the norm. she have custody now from birth
That doesn't really tell me much.
Is there or is there not already a court order in place?
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
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Dogmatique
That doesn't really tell me much.
Is there or is there not already a court order in place?
If she is voluntarily giving him the child, it shouldn't matter if there is a court order. If she changes her mind WITH a court order, he has to give the child back when his time ends and file for custody based on 'change of circumstances' and 'status quo', if she changes her mind WITHOUT a court order, he has to give the child back and file for custody based on 'change of circumstances' and 'status quo'.
Why muddy the issue by asking that question?
Re: My Son is Going to Stay with Me Without Court Paperwork. Good Idea?l How to Prepa
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Quoting
FatherKnowsBest
If she is voluntarily giving him the child, it shouldn't matter if there is a court order. If she changes her mind WITH a court order, he has to give the child back when his time ends and file for custody based on 'change of circumstances' and 'status quo', if she changes her mind WITHOUT a court order, he has to give the child back and file for custody based on 'change of circumstances' and 'status quo'.
Why muddy the issue by asking that question?
Well, you're wrong, for starters.
If there is a court order, that means the initial determination has been made. Any change requires a CoC.
If there is not a court order, a CoC IS NOT REQUIRED. It will be an initial determination and Dad will stand equal to Mom. While status quo is important, it is not the only thing which matters.
Clearer now?