Custody Dispute Where the Other Parent Has Been Investigated for Abuse

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington or Hawaii (In Hawaii now. moving to Washington in May)

My husband is leaving me for his girlfriend. While I wish I had a husband I could trust with my child (2 years old), but that isn't the case. I have been asking him to wait until Washington so he has these last few months with our son since we don't know if he'll deploy right away when we get to Washington (where I also have family). He said he doesn't care, he just wants us gone. But, he wants joint custody so he doesnt live in the barricks. Not to make sure he spends time with our son, he tells me it's because he doesn't want to live in the barricks. (I kept a screen shot of the texts). He is never home. He spends all his time with his girlfriend. He's brought our son around her without me knowing a couple of times, but mostly he leaves our son with me. When he is home he doesn't do anything except play on his laptop. He doesn't give the kid food (minus the occasional cookie).

I'm a full time student at an online college, so my tests are online, and he won't even change a diaper during my finals. At night if our son knocks on his door his dad wakes me up and tells me to deal with it cause I wont like it if he does. He spanks our son, which I disagree with but it isn't necessarily illegal, and yells at him for every little thing. He was reported to CPS for being rough with our son, leaving bruises, but the the case was dismissed. His doctor said she hoped it scared him enough to stop. I left him alone with his dad a few months ago because things had seemed ok. Our son pulled the baby gate down trying to go downstairs (which he only does when he wants food if the gates up and someone is up there) and got a bloody lip. So not only does his dad not pay attention to him, but apparently if he has to deal with someone we are not going to like it so I do everything. I'm acting like a single mom while I'm married, and thankful at the thought of being back with family and free of it.

He no longer has joint custody of his other son who is autistic and lives in another state. Our son has medical issues to, but he never goes to the appointments and has no idea what is happening with his therapy. I am scared of my son being alone with him. He puts his girlfriend and himself first, even canceling plans with our son to accomidate what they want to do. If he does that now, what will he do when he has our son. He texts me just puts me down, and I don't think my son needs to be around that when I try to take pictures so his daddy can see and have him make videos for his dad. Maybe I'm just being a worried mom, but I want to protect my son. Can the texts, CPS report, and the fact he lost custody of his other son (and has made no efforts to see his other son is almost seven years) have an affect on the custody hearing or is it all irrelevant? I know it's important he have his father, but I want him to be safe too.

They can, but you won't know if it will unless you use it. Really, the only thing you can do is try. Just hold onto all evidence and as unemotionally as possible, present it to the court. (you are not expected to be a robot, but if you are overly emotional, the court won't hear what you're saying over all the emotion.)

I hope for the best for both of you.