What are the Benefits of Getting Sole Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Nevada

I have been divorced for a little over 2 years. The marriage produced 2 children. Shortly after agreeing to financial/custody terms thru a mediator, my ex-wife left for her native country because her father was dying. She said she would be gone for 2 weeks and never returned. The children were 6 and 1 when she left.

We ended up having the divorce finalized in front of a judge in her absence. I rarely, if ever, heard from her during that period. In the lobby at court, her attorney told my attorney that he'd had difficulty reaching her and when told that she was going to lose the children, she only said that she wanted to stay in her country.

Months after she had been gone, I received a modified decree from the court. The court found that she had abandoned the children and ruled granted the following:

+ I have primary custody (modified from joint primary)
+ Her visitation rights suspended pending further order of the court
+ My child support was terminated
+ She has to pay me child support out of the alimony I paid her
+ My alimony is reduced based on the child support she owes me, court costs, and the value of items she left with.

It has been almost 3 years. She does not call, write or communicate. I'm worried that she could someday come back and try to reestablish custody. Would petitioning for sole custody benefit me in preventing her from doing so? My attorney says even if I'm granted sole custody, she could theoretically show up X years later and claim she was never served.

The other question relates to alimony. I am supposed to pay her about $2k per month. I have not paid because I do not have the address to send to her. On the advice of my attorney, I've kept this amount of cash on hand just for appearances. Is there anything a court could do to to terminate this alimony? The value over the ruling is $72k.

What is your wife's native country? And how long has she now been there with the children?

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Quoting aardvarc

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What is your wife's native country? And how long has she now been there with the children?

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Indonesia. And to clarify, she has been there nearly 3 years without the children. I have them. She does not call, write, visit, etc.

What is your attorney saying about terminating the alimony?

More importantly though, why is your attorney worried about service? Was she not properly served?

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Quoting nestlequik

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Nevada

I have been divorced for a little over 2 years. The marriage produced 2 children. Shortly after agreeing to financial/custody terms thru a mediator, my ex-wife left for her native country because her father was dying. She said she would be gone for 2 weeks and never returned. The children were 6 and 1 when she left.

We ended up having the divorce finalized in front of a judge in her absence. I rarely, if ever, heard from her during that period. In the lobby at court, her attorney told my attorney that he'd had difficulty reaching her and when told that she was going to lose the children, she only said that she wanted to stay in her country.

Months after she had been gone, I received a modified decree from the court. The court found that she had abandoned the children and ruled granted the following:

+ I have primary custody (modified from joint primary)
+ Her visitation rights suspended pending further order of the court
+ My child support was terminated
+ She has to pay me child support out of the alimony I paid her
+ My alimony is reduced based on the child support she owes me, court costs, and the value of items she left with.

It has been almost 3 years. She does not call, write or communicate. I'm worried that she could someday come back and try to reestablish custody. Would petitioning for sole custody benefit me in preventing her from doing so? My attorney says even if I'm granted sole custody, she could theoretically show up X years later and claim she was never served.

The other question relates to alimony. I am supposed to pay her about $2k per month. I have not paid because I do not have the address to send to her. On the advice of my attorney, I've kept this amount of cash on hand just for appearances. Is there anything a court could do to to terminate this alimony? The value over the ruling is $72k.

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You having sole custody would not prevent her from coming back in the future and filing for visitation/custody rights.

I don't find it credible that you were married to her for that long and don't have the address to her father's home.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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What is your attorney saying about terminating the alimony?

More importantly though, why is your attorney worried about service? Was she not properly served?

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My attorney knows that I am not paying alimony. He told me to either put it in a separate bank account or make sure I always have enough cash on hand to take care of the back pay, which I have. I have not brought up the issue of terminating alimony with him... I haven't spoken to him in a while and thought I might get some general feedback here first...

Regarding service, my attorney says even if she were properly served she could always claim that she wasn't... he said there is really no way to prove or disprove service took place. He said that petitioning for sole custody is like 6 of one/half dozen of the other in my case...

He also said her re-establishing custody would depend on the judge and how credible she is in court. If she came in with the attitude "I had a bad year (divorce, father dying)" and the kids were still young, the judge may see fit to re-establish custody. However, as time goes on (nearly 3 years now) and the kids get older, that argument is harder and harder for her to make.

My main fear is basically that something happens to me (like death) and mother comes back into the picture and moves them overseas. That is definitely not in their best interest.

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Quoting llworking

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You having sole custody would not prevent her from coming back in the future and filing for visitation/custody rights.

I don't find it credible that you were married to her for that long and don't have the address to her father's home.

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I literally do not have the address. When she first left she asked me for payments several times via email and I always asked her for an address to mail a check to... she never gave me one. In addition, from time to time I "hear" from friends of friends that she's now in different countries (like Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, etc). I literally have no idea where she is. I have emailed her photos of the kids from time to time with no response... I don't know if she checks the messages. I literally have no way of contacting her even if I wanted to.

The last time we heard from her was March of last year when she called for my daughter's birthday. I am very conflicted about letting them speak - it makes my daughter very sad to remember that her mother is gone. She will ask "when are you coming back" and the reply is always "when are you going to come see me in asia?" It makes my daughter feel responsible for her absence and/or blame me for not flying her to asia... which obviously I am not going to do...

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Quoting nestlequik

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My attorney knows that I am not paying alimony. He told me to either put it in a separate bank account or make sure I always have enough cash on hand to take care of the back pay, which I have. I have not brought up the issue of terminating alimony with him... I haven't spoken to him in a while and thought I might get some general feedback here first...

Regarding service, my attorney says even if she were properly served she could always claim that she wasn't... he said there is really no way to prove or disprove service took place. He said that petitioning for sole custody is like 6 of one/half dozen of the other in my case...

He also said her re-establishing custody would depend on the judge and how credible she is in court. If she came in with the attitude "I had a bad year (divorce, father dying)" and the kids were still young, the judge may see fit to re-establish custody. However, as time goes on (nearly 3 years now) and the kids get older, that argument is harder and harder for her to make.

My main fear is basically that something happens to me (like death) and mother comes back into the picture and moves them overseas. That is definitely not in their best interest.

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I literally do not have the address. When she first left she asked me for payments several times via email and I always asked her for an address to mail a check to... she never gave me one. In addition, from time to time I "hear" from friends of friends that she's now in different countries (like Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, etc). I literally have no idea where she is. I have emailed her photos of the kids from time to time with no response... I don't know if she checks the messages. I literally have no way of contacting her even if I wanted to.

The last time we heard from her was March of last year when she called for my daughter's birthday. I am very conflicted about letting them speak - it makes my daughter very sad to remember that her mother is gone. She will ask "when are you coming back" and the reply is always "when are you going to come see me in asia?" It makes my daughter feel responsible for her absence and/or blame me for not flying her to asia... which obviously I am not going to do...

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Dad, unfortunately if something happens to you mom absolutely will be first in line for custody of your mutual children...even if she hasn't seen them for multiple years.