How Old Does My Child Have to Be to Be Left Home Alone

My question involves public health law in the State of: Wisconsin

I am a single mom that is starting a job that will require my 8 yr old son (3rd grader) to come home to an empty house and I would not be home until 2 hours later.

I believe he can do it and be safe. I live in the country (6 miles from town) so only have 5 houses nearby (people he can call on for help) but no children for him to play with. (or to get in trouble with.....) He has a cell phone and has family and neighbors phone numbers programmed in it.

I have started practicing by leaving him alone for 5-10 minutes then even an hour twice now. So, I thought this would be fine but my mom is having a fit about it. When I started googling it for proof 8 was old enough I have found nothing but opinions and few states have hard fast laws regarding age. What does WI state law say?

Thank you,

Shanon

Wisconsin does not have a hard and fast rule.

On a purely common sense note, an 8 year old really doesn't need to be home without supervision for 2 hours.

Where is the other parent? This is exactly the sort of thing that can leave the custodial parent wishing they hadn't have done so.

Wisconsin doesn't have a statute specifically addressing how young a child can be to be left home alone.

Macauley Culkin was 10 when he was in Home Alone and he did quite well.

I found one site that has statute citations that define abuse and neglect. You can scroll down to Wisconsin at the following link.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemw...tes/define.pdf

I don't think any of them applies to your situation other than the risk that somebody else's perception might give you problems. And, unfortunately, that kind of perception can result in a call to Child Protective Services which will cause you an unholy amount of inconvenience even if it turns out that you are in the right. So make sure your mother is on board with this otherwise she might be the one calling CPS. And, as Dogmatique suggests, your ex might use your decision against you in a custody fight.

I also found several guides that address how to tell if your child is capable of being home alone:

http://wilawlibrary.gov/topics/familylaw/homealone.php

Now I'll give you my own experience. My kids went to daycare for the first couple of years of school. But when my son was 10 and my daughter 8 I experimented with letting them come home after school and stay by themselves. Wasn't for more than 1-2 hours till I or my ex got home. They did quite well.

I have no opinion as to whether it's OK to leave an 8 year old because I've never had to face that question.

So it's really up to you and your son (especially your son's opinion) to decide based on all of the elements that are involved in the decision.

Honestly? I would tend to ignore the child's opinion. At 8, he's likely to be thrilled with the idea of being home alone and having the run of the house. I'd be far more concerned with the other parent.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Honestly? I would tend to ignore the child's opinion. At 8, he's likely to be thrilled with the idea of being home alone and having the run of the house. I'd be far more concerned with the other parent.

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I agree...the other parent (and grandma to some extent) are the ones who can cause the most trouble. Quite frankly, I would not leave an 8 year old home alone for two hours a day. I might do it with a 10 year old, but not an 8 year old.

This is my opinion as a parent, not a legal opinion of any kind.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND TO EVEN CONSIDER LEAVING AN 8 YEAR OLD HOME ALONE FOR TWO HOURS? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU?

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Quoting cbg

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This is my opinion as a parent, not a legal opinion of any kind.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND TO EVEN CONSIDER LEAVING AN 8 YEAR OLD HOME ALONE FOR TWO HOURS? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU?

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The "I lost custody because I left the kid at home for 2 hours" kind?

The "other parent" my ex-husband found a girlfriend when I was 7 months pregnant and made babies with her so never bothered to be a father to his first born..... I used to push the issue of trying to keep him in our lives - but the new wife is jealous seeing as she obtained him by stealing him from his pregnant wife.... Babysitters have raised my son since I had to go to work the moment he was born. (Thankfully I was able to have the same babysitter from 0-5yrs until she became incapable with health problems) Since then we have had one adult and several teenagers - the adult was only willing short term and the teens have been unreliable. The reason this is new question.... I've been unemployed since April so after spending our summer together I was also able to be home when he got home from school so far this year. It has been heavenly..... but my new job starts Monday and I need to decide if I want to try to get a babysitter again and go through that hell or trust him alone. This is why I started giving him opportunities to "practice" being alone to see how he would do and he loves feeling trusted to be home. I also spoke with his shrink today after doing this post and he agrees with me that the consistency of coming home daily (even if alone for 2 hrs) is better than going to 3-5 different places per week in order to have daily care. My son is perfectly happy being able to come home and feels special and responsible by earning the right to be able to stay home alone by proving he could do his homework on his own and behave.....

I was looking for Wisconsin laws regarding the issue when I did this post - not looking to be called an idiot.....

The link: http://www.cityofmadison.com/fire/pr.../homeAlone.cfm
from another post on this site gave some good info about how to determine when your child is ready.

Thank you,

Shanon

The elementary school my 8yr old goes to has after school programs for situations just like this. They can work on homework and they have teachers available that can help with tutoring for extra help if the children need it. It's really a great program at my daughters school. My mother works from home, so technically, if my daughter came home right from school, she wouldn't be 'alone' but 'grandma' would be working and my daughter would just be snacking and staring into the TV till i got home from work. I decided the after school program is actually a better environment then that.

Does your child's school have a program like that a lot of school have after school programs because most parents work now. You should call the school and find out.

ETA: Are you in Madison?
https://www.madison.k12.wi.us/daycare.htm

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Quoting ebunny1972

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The "other parent" my ex-husband found a girlfriend when I was 7 months pregnant and made babies with her so never bothered to be a father to his first born..... I used to push the issue of trying to keep him in our lives - but the new wife is jealous seeing as she obtained him by stealing him from his pregnant wife.... Babysitters have raised my son since I had to go to work the moment he was born. (Thankfully I was able to have the same babysitter from 0-5yrs until she became incapable with health problems) Since then we have had one adult and several teenagers - the adult was only willing short term and the teens have been unreliable.

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Yeah...nobody stole your ex. He made a choice. His choice was that he longer wanted to be with you.

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I also spoke with his shrink today after doing this post and he agrees with me that the consistency of coming home daily (even if alone) is better than going to 5 different places in order to have daily care. My son is perfectly happy being able to come home and feels special and responsible by earning the right to be able to stay home alone by proving he could do his homework on his own and behave.....

I was looking for Wisconsin laws regarding the issue. The link: http://www.cityofmadison.com/fire/pr.../homeAlone.cfm another post on this site provided gave some good info about how to determine when your child is ready.

Thank you,

Shanon

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What are you going to tell the court when kiddo forgets to turn off that frying pan?

I believe you either misunderstood the psychiatrist (assuming there is one), or you didn't share the entire story.

And of course kiddo is happy with it - come on, he gets the run of the house for 2 hours.

Burlington has afterschool programs as well - however the school he goes to is in the school district but not in town and the bus company was not able to get kids from our school in to town to go to the afterschool program :(

Believe me - I would love to have that option.....

That the kid has his own psychiatrist has led me to change my conclusion to: No, don't leave an 8 year old home alone.

The after school thing at school sounds like a good idea.

Yes he made a choice and as usual others get to pay the price :(

Now I'm trying to be responsible in my decision making by doing this research with sites like this and social workers and his shrink. I'm sorry if you disagree.

God Bless ~ Shanon

- - - Updated - - -

Adjusterjack - ANY and ALL children of divorced homes should be in counseling...........

Ok, if the after school program doesn't work(maybe those teenagers could drop him off).....The 'class mom' (actually a dad in my daughters class) sent home a list within the first week of school of select other parents phone numbers and names. We've used that list maybe 3-4 times this year for forgotten homework assignments and playdates. BUT, if i were in the situation you are in, i would call around and see what other parents do. There is no way you are the only parent that works. Someone has to have a babysitter they recommend or an after school program they can 'car pool' your child and theirs together to.

I'm putting out these options because, i really don't think you should leave an 8yr old home alone, i just don't think it's safe. Every problem has a solution, you just sometimes have to be a bit creative to figure it out.

That's a really valid point - without a doubt, there are several options you can look into, with none of them leading to the "iffy" consequences.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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That's a really valid point - without a doubt, there are several options you can look into, with none of them leading to the "iffy" consequences.

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Ok, i've got to go to sleep, Dogmatique agreed with me, i'm delusional with exhaustion!

Hang in there and I'll throw in cookies :D

I'd LOVE to comment but I noticed that the Administrators enjoy deleting any response.

So be it. Anyone could call DCFS and file a complaint. You could loose your child for leaving him alone for one or two hours.
It WILL cost you over $30,000 to retain a good Attorney to fight for your cause.
As it is though, DCFS or whatever is looking at the Federal Incentive that they get in any case. DCFS has been known to create cases where there is none.
DCFS, DSS, CPS or whatever gets over $30,000 incentive from the Federal Government to create a case and the Caseworkers get a bonus for the children removed from homes. Whether there is evidence or not. They will create a case where there should be none.

I wouldn't do it if I were you.

I would pay that extra $20 per day to have the Day Care pick him up rather than take the risk.

Good luck.

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Quoting Ohmyheaven

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I'd LOVE to comment but I noticed that the Administrators enjoy deleting any response.

So be it. Anyone could call DCFS and file a complaint. You could loose your child for leaving him alone for one or two hours.
It WILL cost you over $30,000 to retain a good Attorney to fight for your cause.
As it is though, DCFS or whatever is looking at the Federal Incentive that they get in any case. DCFS has been known to create cases where there is none.
DCFS, DSS, CPS or whatever gets over $30,000 incentive from the Federal Government to create a case and the Caseworkers get a bonus for the children removed from homes. Whether there is evidence or not. They will create a case where there should be none.

I wouldn't do it if I were you.

I would pay that extra $20 per day to have the Day Care pick him up rather than take the risk.

Good luck.

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part of the reason your posts get deleted is they are simply not true. Your attempt to scare the OP is a bit much.

First, your claim of $30k for an attorney; unlikely
2nd, the claim they would need an attorney; unlikely
3rd,, that they would lose their child; unlikely


unless CPS found the child to be in immediate danger, more than likely they will recommend the mother not leave the child alone. They are not there to remove children unnecessarily and this would not be a situation where it would be in the best interest to remove the child from the home.


Yes, anybody can call CPS and CPS is going to investigate. They will speak to the child, the parents, and probable a few other people. They will then make a determination and recommendation as to their opinion on the matter. After having been through a similar situation (I had one child about this age and one about 3 years older), it was actually a fairly relaxed situation, especially after they met the kids and made a determination concerning their maturity and ability to do what I was asking of them.


Oh, and to this:

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DCFS, DSS, CPS or whatever gets over $30,000 incentive from the Federal Government to create a case and the Caseworkers get a bonus for the children removed from homes.

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absolute bullshit. If it were that easy, they would be opening files left and right. It simply is not true.

and the caseworkers get a bonus? Are you out of your mind? The caseworkers don't get squat but one more case to deal with.

Great Googly Moogly. That's the second biggest pile of horse manure today.

YMCA has good after school programs. Look into one of those. An eight year old is not old enough to be left alone.

Thank you mmmagique,

I agree. In my petition it stated that I left my 8 year old daughter with my 2 year old son for an half an hour. Yes, $30,000 later in Attorney's fees. What got my goat was that it was okay for my daughter's father to do the same thing, although the difference was that he left her for two hours with him & his new wife's 2 year old. My daughter's father accidently locked his keys in the car.

Update: That was years ago. We are all good friends today. I let bygones be bygones. I forgive.

I have experience and I have seen worst cases than mine.

PS~ My Mom and my Aunt are both Attorneys licensed in several states. So much for calling my post the biggest bunch of B**** $*** you have heard for that day. I haven't attacked anyone although it has come to my attention that I must be doing something right to get such a reaction. Thank you! I take it as a complement. :p

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PS~ My Mom and my Aunt are both Attorneys licensed in several states. So much for calling my post the biggest bunch of B**** $*** you have heard for that day. I haven't attacked anyone although it has come to my attention that I must be doing something right to get such a reaction. Thank you! I take it as a complement. :p

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it's not that you attacked anybody. It's that your claims are, well, I'll just say, a bit on the unbelievable side.

and no, doing something right does not garner such attention but maybe you live in opposite world where that would be the norm.

but anyway. I speak from experience on the other side:

CPS isn't going to take your children over a first report concern of them being left alone unless there is a lot of other issues that make it unsafe for the child to be left alone. They are going to counsel the parent and let them know it isn't acceptable to them.


and if you paid some lawyer $30k, there was a lot more going on than a simple: I left my child home alone when I believed them to be safe but CPS said it was beyond what they could accept/

as you have just stated, you were apparently in the middle of a custody battle with your ex. Maybe that's where the money was needed but is wasn't from an just an issue similar to the OP's. You are attempting to put your costs of the entire custody issue on what the OP is considering doing and would be dealing with CPS, not the other parent. Apples and oranges.

Well gee - I thank all involved for the advice - especially those respectful ones ;-)..... The comment my son's shrink made was that even if someone called DCF or DFS - "they would show up to check on him and find what? A kid watching tv?"

Considering the law does not give a specific minimum age but merely guidelines to determine your child's responsibility level I feel I have done my due diligence and I'm willing to give him a try. He is very independent and not afraid to be alone for short periods. (as of today I would not allow more than 2 hrs alone) - but everybody has got to start somewhere - they don't become responsible w/o being trusted and tested, right?

As far as the stove goes - my son has learned to boil water and make grilled cheese sandwiches - however, when I am not home he is not allowed to use the stove. (we have already discussed this) So I shouldn't have to worry about any frying pans starting a fire......

As far as DCF taking my son over something like this - hogwash - my aunt spent 40 yrs raising foster children and it broke her heart to see these kids she loved wholeheartedly get sent back to terrible homes because the county is always trying to keep a family together and give them the opportunity to learn better parenting or quit addictions or whatever. (I'm talking some insanely abused children that in my opinion once the parents finished their jail sentence for their abuses - they should not have been given those precious children back! But they would - only to lose the kids again and even more damage is done.)

Also, this is one single child - not an 8 yr old watching a 2 yr old or any other nonsense - one child alone watching tv (I only have public channels to watch) And I hope to find something more mentally stimulating than tv but for now it is what it is...

Shanon

Okey dokey then.

Don't come back crying when someone makes a fuss about it and you're having to deal with people who have the power to really mess up your life.

As for "ohmyheaven"? Yeah. There is a reason why nobody takes his/her posts seriously. Then again, YOU have fed us bull too, OP. You know it, we know it. If your Aunties were attorneys, you wouldn't be here unless you thought they were a bit crappy at their job.

You go ahead and leave the kid alone.

Be sure to give him a big hug goodbye.

I didn't start having my daughter stay home alone after school until she was 12 1/2. My son is almost 11 now, and has yet to stay home alone. I too think that 8 is too young to be left home alone.

However, I realize some parents don't have any choice. My sister in law was a single parent before she married my brother. Her ex husband lives overseas. She says she started having her kids stay home alone after school for a couple of hours a day when her daughter was 9 and her son was 8. It wasn't ideal, but she said they did fine. They are teenagers now, and are very independent kids.

I've been fortunate to have a husband to help with the kids, and to have had access to after school care at my kids' schools, which I've also been able to afford. And now that my daughter is almost 16, she's old enough to occasionally babysit her brother. But I know many parents aren't so fortunate, and have to do the best they can with what they have.

this is a strictly personal comment:


I feel your child is to young to be entrusted to the extent you intend to. I believe if CPS is involved, they will strongly urge you to consider alternatives. Failure to do so is likely to cause them to be much more aggressive if anything happens to the child.

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Quoting Ohmyheaven

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I'd LOVE to comment but I noticed that the Administrators enjoy deleting any response.

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Please don't lie about what the administrators are doing. No responses have been deleted from this thread. If you are referring to other threads, very few posts are deleted. When they are deleted is is almost always because of spamming, secondarily (and rarely) because they are very incorrect, and occasionally as an effort to stop a fight between forum users. You have to work pretty hard to have a post removed.

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Quoting jk

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First, your claim of $30k for an attorney; unlikely
2nd, the claim they would need an attorney; unlikely
3rd,, that they would lose their child; unlikely

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No kidding. Even if we accept that to have been her experience, it's not representative of the norm.

Most often when a case is brought over a child being left home alone, it's because something bad happened when the child was left home alone. And when something bad happens, it's going to be argued that the bad outcome is evidence that the child was not sufficiently mature to be left home alone.

The part about the incentive and bonuses is completely false.