Grandparents Rights in Massachusetts

Did I mention MOM has been diagnosed with Mental issues, Drug& Alcohol Issues and Anger Management issues ...among other things.. She been proven unfit (on several other occasions before this) and had her other kids taken from her more than once for Serious Neglect and Abuse... Has a 5 yr jail sentence hanging over her head...and she herself if a product of the system...not to mention her other 4 siblings have all had their kids taken away and they are all in State custody too!

Mom is also totally un-cooperative and will not follow her 'Contract for Reunification' with DCF ..and the only reason my son originally stepped in to get her other kids was because they were two months away from being put up for Adoption...because MOM would rather run around all night every night and party rather than doing that which was asked of her.

I don't know about you, but if that was me, I'd be jumping thru every hoop DCF put in front of me..not out partying.

And when people tried to explain that she would lose her kids Permanently if she didn't get her act together.
Her answer to that was/is: "That's ok ..I can always have more!" <--SERIOUSLY!

Again..just to be clear this is not animosity ...just the truth ...and total frustration on my part!

Did I mention that 'mom' has already signed away Custody of this baby to my Daughter , just in case DCF decides to step in and take this child at birth... because she has NOT been going to the ordered therapy she is suppose to according to her contract with DCF... so evidently Mom is aware and afraid that till will happen.

She simply REFUSES to go..and because of this my son can be held responsible and labled 'unfit' to have his own child..because they could say he 'didn't make her go'.

How can you make someone go who will go psycho and ATTACK you just for reminding you of an appointment !

the list goes on and on and on....

And for this Statement:

>If I was Mom, I'd be fighting tooth and nail not only to make sure you don't get any visitation, but also that Dad can't bring the child around you. <


This statement just floors me ....why would you say that...not to mention the fact that it's Its totally uncalled for ....
I though this place was to ask questions and possibly get answers..
Not a place where you judge people, especially people you don't even know personally..who are merely asking questions in order to figure out how to proceed if the worst case scenario comes to pass and trying to understand what it is they need to do.

And YES if push comes to shove MOM Will most DEFINATELY be arrested and jailed if she decided to run off , especially if she ran off with the kids..
1) for kidnapping, since she does not have custody of them
and 2) for probation violations which specifically say she is not allowed out of the State ..and even if she stuck around she would probably also be a 'fugitive from justice' for not following thru with her probation Contract and doing what she is suppose to do to stay out of jail and o probation to begin with

and 3) my son would be taking care of this child along with the other 4 even if it wasn't his , because the child would be a brother to the other 4 he already has probably because No one from her family will or is ALLOWED to take them

Thank you very much for your time and answers to all my questions...
Although I appreciate it very much.. I don't think we were actually understanding each other very well and that could have been my fault by not explaining things right.

Blessings <3

You don't want to be judged? You are asking us to judge your son's girlfriend...or is it wife? (you don't seem to be sure) based on your allegations.

So she has all these issues, had other kids taken away, and your son still found her fit to bear his child? Says a lot about him.

Let him handle his paternity business though the lawyer, and back off before this whole thing blows up in your face.

Quote:

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Quoting Yiayia

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Did I mention MOM has been diagnosed with Mental issues, Drug& Alcohol Issues and Anger Management issues ...among other things.. She been proven unfit (on several other occasions before this) and had her other kids taken from her more than once for Serious Neglect and Abuse... Has a 5 yr jail sentence hanging over her head...and she herself if a product of the system...not to mention her other 4 siblings have all had their kids taken away and they are all in State custody too!

Mom is also totally un-cooperative and will not follow her 'Contract for Reunification' with DCF ..and the only reason my son originally stepped in to get her other kids was because they were two months away from being put up for Adoption...because MOM would rather run around all night every night and party rather than doing that which was asked of her.

I don't know about you, but if that was me, I'd be jumping thru every hoop DCF put in front of me..not out partying.

And when people tried to explain that she would lose her kids Permanently if she didn't get her act together.
Her answer to that was/is: "That's ok ..I can always have more!" <--SERIOUSLY!

Again..just to be clear this is not animosity ...just the truth ...and total frustration on my part!

Did I mention that 'mom' has already signed away Custody of this baby to my Daughter , just in case DCF decides to step in and take this child at birth... because she has NOT been going to the ordered therapy she is suppose to according to her contract with DCF... so evidently Mom is aware and afraid that till will happen.

She simply REFUSES to go..and because of this my son can be held responsible and labled 'unfit' to have his own child..because they could say he 'didn't make her go'.

How can you make someone go who will go psycho and ATTACK you just for reminding you of an appointment !

the list goes on and on and on....

And for this Statement:

>If I was Mom, I'd be fighting tooth and nail not only to make sure you don't get any visitation, but also that Dad can't bring the child around you. <


This statement just floors me ....why would you say that...not to mention the fact that it's Its totally uncalled for ....
I though this place was to ask questions and possibly get answers..
Not a place where you judge people, especially people you don't even know personally..who are merely asking questions in order to figure out how to proceed if the worst case scenario comes to pass and trying to understand what it is they need to do.

And YES if push comes to shove MOM Will most DEFINATELY be arrested and jailed if she decided to run off , especially if she ran off with the kids..
1) for kidnapping, since she does not have custody of them
and 2) for probation violations which specifically say she is not allowed out of the State ..and even if she stuck around she would probably also be a 'fugitive from justice' for not following thru with her probation Contract and doing what she is suppose to do to stay out of jail and o probation to begin with

and 3) my son would be taking care of this child along with the other 4 even if it wasn't his , because the child would be a brother to the other 4 he already has probably because No one from her family will or is ALLOWED to take them

Thank you very much for your time and answers to all my questions...
Although I appreciate it very much.. I don't think we were actually understanding each other very well and that could have been my fault by not explaining things right.

Blessings <3

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Heavily edited my original response to this. I decided you're just not aware of the legal reality.

Which is this:

Mom has not signed over custody of the unborn child.

Based purely on your posts here, you will not get your own visitation with the child.

Yes, you are coming across as what is known as a "toxic" grandparent. Every word that you write is screaming "But I should have rights no matter what Mom thinks!".

So let's turn it around. You'd be okay with your son dumping Mom and running out of state in order to avoid child support? Because even if Mom doesn't want him to, tough luck because your son's rights trump Mom's...right?

Just like if Mom doesn't want you around, tough luck because it doesn't matter what she wants?

FOCUS. Think this through. Because yes, I do believe if you push Mom hard enough, you won't be seeing your grandchild much at all. Remember, this is not about you. This is about the child, and your son appeared to be absolutely fine with Mom's parenting ability when they were making the child.

You need to learn your place as a grandparent.

- - - Updated - - -

One other thing. If Mom had signed over custody to your daughter (which she hasn't - I'll explain why if necessary), please remind us why you're here?

Let's back up and look at the law:

Quote:

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Quoting MGL c.119, s.39D

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If the parents of an unmarried minor child are divorced, married but living apart, under a temporary order or judgment of separate support, or if either or both parents are deceased, or if said unmarried minor child was born out of wedlock whose paternity has been adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction or whose father has signed an acknowledgement of paternity, and the parents do not reside together, the grandparents of such minor child may be granted reasonable visitation rights to the minor child during his minority by the probate and family court department of the trial court upon a written finding that such visitation rights would be in the best interest of the said minor child; provided, however, that such adjudication of paternity or acknowledgment of paternity shall not be required in order to proceed under this section where maternal grandparents are seeking such visitation rights. No such visitation rights shall be granted if said minor child has been adopted by a person other than a stepparent of such child and any visitation rights granted pursuant to this section prior to such adoption of the said minor child shall be terminated upon such adoption without any further action of the court.

A petition for grandparents visitation authorized under this section shall, where applicable, be filed in the county within the commonwealth in which the divorce or separate support complaint or the complaint to establish paternity was filed. If the divorce, separate support or paternity judgment was entered without the commonwealth but the child presently resides within the commonwealth, said petition may be filed in the county where the child resides.

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If the parents live together, Massachusetts does not permit a grandparents' visitation petition. That's consistent with the precept that parents can jointly decide what is in the best interest of their child. If the parents do not live together, as previously indicated, a grandparent would normally get access through her own child such that there was no need for a petition.