How Can I Become the Custodial Parent

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Quoting aces*wild

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Ok I understand that. BUT my point was she doesn't have a job!! Im just asking if the court looks at that. That's all. Thank you.

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Well heck yeah, they'll look at that. Just think of all the extra time she'll have to take care of the kids now!

Plus when the court finds out she doesn't have a job because of you? Well...I'm curious how the support calculations will turn out. Strippers make hundreds per night (in general) Good job taking away income that could benefit your children.

Instead of the parent who's been done wrong, you sound more and more like a controlling little man.

If ever there was a parent with a decent shot at primary custody, this OP would've been it.

Until he pulled that stunt. I'm still shaking my head here.

Lets be honest here. It usually does not take much effort for a stripper to find a place willing to let her take off her clothes.

I didn't read the other thread, but if you have a full time job and you're home by 1pm, then how are you going to TAKE them to school? I mean, it's great if you can pick them up, but you have to get them there so that you can pick them up..;

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Quoting Disagreeable

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Lets be honest here. It usually does not take much effort for a stripper to find a place willing to let her take off her clothes.

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If they live near or in a big city? Yes. If they live in a smaller rural or even suburban area? That might have been the only game in town.

OK I understand what everyone is saying. However, I went there because we had always talked about her quitting. I had NO IDEA she was planning on leaving us!! Honestly, I didn't go in and sabotage her job because I was a controlling little man. I found out she was leaving me after that fact. Her manager called me Tuesday and I apologized and told him that I had no idea what was going on and I apologized and she got her job back. If she was not with me and like living on her own I would have never done that. Not sure if this matters or not. Thank you.

This is still something Mom can absolutely use against you and quite frankly it still sounds like sabotage and that the only reason you went back to apologize is because you had to - not because you wanted to or wanted the best for the child.

See it from the court's viewpoint - what's stopping you from sabotaging her in the future? You've created a very dangerous precedent here.

Yes. I understand that. I do have one more question and please let me know what you think. I talked to my wife last night and she is wanting me to leave our house and go stay with a friend so the kids can be here. She told me her apartment she had was only a 2 bedroom but she couldn't afford to pay it by Dec 1, and she said its because I cost her the job (I understand). She was originally going to take a 2 bedroom and then when a 3 bedroom was open in February transfer to that. I am thinking about it today because at least then the kids would all have their bedrooms and not have to move right away and I could go stay with a friend. That said, she also told me that if I don't she is going to have to stay with her mom who lives in a small 1 bedroom apartment above someone's garage about 30 miles from here. She said she still wants to take the kids half time there. I asked where they would sleep she said air mattresses on the floor. I started thinking about it and they would have to get up at approximately 5 am to be ready and out the door for school. Look, I admit I am manipulative (I thought a lot about that last night) its something I know I have to work on. But here, I feel I am being manipulated a bit. Honestly if she didn't have an attorney I wouldn't be as scared but does anyone have any suggestions? Should I leave? Should I go to court (I cannot hire an attorney). Will the job sabotage cost me too much that even this living situation for them if I don't give up the house, won't be a big deal. I am really confused and can't think really straight. I know the best thing for the kids is not sleeping above a garage on air mattresses. One thing my wife did say is that if I will leave she will have her attorney file something that I have to sign regarding it. I feel like I'm being played here a little quite honestly. Please help me. Thank you (Also regarding my job, I found out today I can switch my shift to 730am to 230pm and every other Saturday. Which means I would never be gone when the kids are here).

Given the circumstances, there's a better-than-decent chance that a judge will also agree that the reason Mom is having financial issues is because of your actions.

At this point, you need to do whatever it takes to get an attorney yourself. Mom has one, and you made a huge mistake.

And honestly? This is looking more and more like "I want to win regardless" and less like "I want what's best for the children".

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Quoting aces*wild

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Yes. I understand that. I do have one more question and please let me know what you think. I talked to my wife last night and she is wanting me to leave our house and go stay with a friend so the kids can be here. She told me her apartment she had was only a 2 bedroom but she couldn't afford to pay it by Dec 1, and she said its because I cost her the job (I understand). She was originally going to take a 2 bedroom and then when a 3 bedroom was open in February transfer to that. I am thinking about it today because at least then the kids would all have their bedrooms and not have to move right away and I could go stay with a friend. That said, she also told me that if I don't she is going to have to stay with her mom who lives in a small 1 bedroom apartment above someone's garage about 30 miles from here. She said she still wants to take the kids half time there. I asked where they would sleep she said air mattresses on the floor. I started thinking about it and they would have to get up at approximately 5 am to be ready and out the door for school. Look, I admit I am manipulative (I thought a lot about that last night) its something I know I have to work on. But here, I feel I am being manipulated a bit. Honestly if she didn't have an attorney I wouldn't be as scared but does anyone have any suggestions? Should I leave? Should I go to court (I cannot hire an attorney). Will the job sabotage cost me too much that even this living situation for them if I don't give up the house, won't be a big deal. I am really confused and can't think really straight. I know the best thing for the kids is not sleeping above a garage on air mattresses. One thing my wife did say is that if I will leave she will have her attorney file something that I have to sign regarding it. I feel like I'm being played here a little quite honestly. Please help me. Thank you

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What you probably BOTH should do is stay in the house until things are worked out legally. Or, in the alternative, until things are settled legally you stay with someone else during mom's parenting time, and let her and the kids have the house, and she stays with someone else during your parenting time, so that you and the kids get the house. Assuming that she really did get her job back, that would give her time to get her finances in order so that she can get that 3 bedroom when its available in February, and it would give you some time to get over the situation.

I am glad that you admitted that you are manipulative...that has to STOP. Otherwise your children are going to be miserable.