Seeking Modification to Supervised Parenting Time

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

• I am the Mom, my child is 13. I have Sole Physical Custody, Dad and I have Joint Legal Custody.
• Parenting Plan is every other weekend Friday-Sunday, holidays and vacations relatively well spelled-out, etc.
• I have filed a Motion for a Referee Hearing to request court-ordered counseling services and to temporarily modify visitation to supervised parenting time.

My child is refusing to go to parenting time with Dad on the grounds of being afraid. This is not a rebellious child, in fact, but is a very sweet and compliant child even at this age.

• Has claimed for a long time to have witnessed Domestic Violence against Stepmom.
• The verbal/emotional abuse my child suffers at hands of Dad is the hardest to deal with as Mom.

Most of the stories are just child's word against Dad's, because although Stepmom is sometimes present or even a victim, she will not confirm stories. However, my child has seen a Counselor for the past year and a half or so and has told stories. One such story resulted in an investigation by CPS however CPS did nothing further (no marks, Dad's word against child).

My mode of dealing with this until now has been to try and teach my child coping skills as well as taking to counseling regularly.

Referee and Family Counselor are both very familiar with our case and Dad & Mom's character. It was on the Family Counselor's suggestion that I pursued the Motion described above since otherwise denying normal parenting time (because my child refuses to go for good reason and for which no written complain was filed, only phone calls to Family Counselor by Dad) even in spite of offering make-up parenting time upon resolution of child's fears and incidents reported to Mom and Counselor, is still outside the rules and I have always strived to maintain the rules and keep a good relationship with FOC.

So, I filed the motion.

The one piece of evidence I have uncovered is an arrest, guilty plea, and therefore conviction for misdemeanor domestic violence in 2004 committed by Dad against an ex-gf. There were two witnesses who made statements, they were the ones who called 911. There are also at least 4 separate police narrative reports.

These are all items I have to bring with me to the hearing including dates my child made statements about things that had happened, a list of contacts (Pediatrician, Counselor, etc) with releases of information already on file at each agency.

My child believes Dad "hates them" because of repeated emotionally abusive statements and doesn't ever want to see Dad again. I am really trying to do the right and realistic thing and course of action here.

My question is: Is all of the above enough to get the Referee to:
1. Help my child by granting the requested Supervised Visitation
2. Grant that the requested family Counseling takes place?

County is: Oakland

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Quoting Momof13

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

• I am the Mom, my child is 13. I have Sole Physical Custody, Dad and I have Joint Legal Custody.
• Parenting Plan is every other weekend Friday-Sunday, holidays and vacations relatively well spelled-out, etc.
• I have filed a Motion for a Referee Hearing to request court-ordered counseling services and to temporarily modify visitation to supervised parenting time.

My child is refusing to go to parenting time with Dad on the grounds of being afraid. This is not a rebellious child, in fact, but is a very sweet and compliant child even at this age.

• Has claimed for a long time to have witnessed Domestic Violence against Stepmom.
• The verbal/emotional abuse my child suffers at hands of Dad is the hardest to deal with as Mom.

Most of the stories are just child's word against Dad's, because although Stepmom is sometimes present or even a victim, she will not confirm stories. However, my child has seen a Counselor for the past year and a half or so and has told stories. One such story resulted in an investigation by CPS however CPS did nothing further (no marks, Dad's word against child).

My mode of dealing with this until now has been to try and teach my child coping skills as well as taking to counseling regularly.

Referee and Family Counselor are both very familiar with our case and Dad & Mom's character. It was on the Family Counselor's suggestion that I pursued the Motion described above since otherwise denying normal parenting time (because my child refuses to go for good reason and for which no written complain was filed, only phone calls to Family Counselor by Dad) even in spite of offering make-up parenting time upon resolution of child's fears and incidents reported to Mom and Counselor, is still outside the rules and I have always strived to maintain the rules and keep a good relationship with FOC.

So, I filed the motion.

The one piece of evidence I have uncovered is an arrest, guilty plea, and therefore conviction for misdemeanor domestic violence in 2004 committed by Dad against an ex-gf. There were two witnesses who made statements, they were the ones who called 911. There are also at least 4 separate police narrative reports.

These are all items I have to bring with me to the hearing including dates my child made statements about things that had happened, a list of contacts (Pediatrician, Counselor, etc) with releases of information already on file at each agency.

My child believes Dad "hates them" because of repeated emotionally abusive statements and doesn't ever want to see Dad again. I am really trying to do the right and realistic thing and course of action here.

My question is: Is all of the above enough to get the Referee to:
1. Help my child by granting the requested Supervised Visitation
2. Grant that the requested family Counseling takes place?

County is: Oakland

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Maybe...that is the best that I can say.

It certainly sounds like family counseling (particularly between dad and the child) would be extremely helpful. I can also understand how supervised visitation while the counseling is going on would be beneficial as well. However, its all going to boil down to whether or not the court professionals agree that the situation is serious enough to warrant supervised visitation. I think that there is a better than decent chance that the counseling will be ordered, but its much iffier on the supervised visitation.

However, please understand that if you prevail on both issues, and dad refuses to cooperate with counseling or supervised visits, that dad may just fade out of the picture. So be prepared for the impact that will have on your child.

so, an incident 9 years ago and nothing else other than your child's statements. Dad denies it. GF denies it. No physical evidence. In fact, no evidence at all...period.



supervised visitation; unlikely
family counseling; a possibility but a lot depends on dad's statements as well.

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The one piece of evidence I have uncovered is an arrest, guilty plea, and therefore conviction for misdemeanor domestic violence in 2004 committed by Dad against an ex-gf. There were two witnesses who made statements, they were the ones who called 911. There are also at least 4 separate police narrative reports.

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to this:

do you realize how difficult it is to not be convicted of domestic violence if charged? It is as close to guilty unless proven innocent as you can get when faced with such charges. I surely wouldn't stand on that as proof of dad being abusive to anybody. I have seen a person defending themselves end up with a DV conviction.

Thank you to the previous posters for your responses.

Would it be appropriate and could it help to also request a Guardian Ad Litem when we go for the hearing? Can I even do that, having not directly requested it on the Motion already filed?

You can ask for the world. The worst that would happen is you are denied. Given that family courts tend to operate a bit "loose" since the intent is to work in the best interest of the child, their rules are less rigid than other courts.


if you never ask, you will never get an answer

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Quoting jk

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so, an incident 9 years ago and nothing else other than your child's statements. Dad denies it. GF denies it. No physical evidence. In fact, no evidence at all...period.



supervised visitation; unlikely
family counseling; a possibility but a lot depends on dad's statements as well.



to this:

do you realize how difficult it is to not be convicted of domestic violence if charged? It is as close to guilty unless proven innocent as you can get when faced with such charges. I surely wouldn't stand on that as proof of dad being abusive to anybody. I have seen a person defending themselves end up with a DV conviction.

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Incident 9 years ago was documented to include the GF's statement and witness statements all of which are that she was being held off the ground by her neck/choked and only let go when police arrived on scene.

Stepmom that Dad is married to now is not the same person.

In case that helps to clarify.

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Momof13;761758]Incident 9 years ago was documented to include the GF's statement and witness statements all of which are that she was being held off the ground by her neck/choked and only let go when police arrived on scene.

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the charge doesn't support that level of activity but then again, it was apparently a plea bargain.


regardless; one incident 9 years ago. Do you have ANYTHING else?

I had a speeding ticket 20 years ago. Does that mean I always speed? Even without a subsequent ticket, if a lot of people see me speeding, there is support for an answer in the affirmative. If nobody has observed me speeding, even if I do speed, there is nothing to support the statement in the affirmative. If one person who has a vested interest makes a statement I was speeding but everybody else, including people who have been passengers in my car state I don't speed, does that mean I do speed? It means the one person's statement is suspect and there is nothing to support the claim therefor, and since I cannot prove a negative, while I might speed, the overall evidence suggests I don't.

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Stepmom that Dad is married to now is not the same person.

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hopefully he got divorced from the other one first. That in itself not only doesn't prove anything, it really suggests nothing.

Not trying to shoot you down for no purpose. Just trying to show you that a court, while they are not going to outright say nothing happened, without some evidence other than the statement of your child, they are not likely to take such a strong action as demanding supervised visitation.

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Quoting jk

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the charge doesn't support that level of activity but then again, it was apparently a plea bargain.


regardless; one incident 9 years ago. Do you have ANYTHING else?

I had a speeding ticket 20 years ago. Does that mean I always speed? Even without a subsequent ticket, if a lot of people see me speeding, there is support for an answer in the affirmative. If nobody has observed me speeding, even if I do speed, there is nothing to support the statement in the affirmative. If one person who has a vested interest makes a statement I was speeding but everybody else, including people who have been passengers in my car state I don't speed, does that mean I do speed? It means the one person's statement is suspect and there is nothing to support the claim therefor, and since I cannot prove a negative, while I might speed, the overall evidence suggests I don't.


hopefully he got divorced from the other one first. That in itself not only doesn't prove anything, it really suggests nothing.

Not trying to shoot you down for no purpose. Just trying to show you that a court, while they are not going to outright say nothing happened, without some evidence other than the statement of your child, they are not likely to take such a strong action as demanding supervised visitation.

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I understand what you are doing, and appreciate your information.

The other item going into the paperwork is a statement from my child's school Principal about an incident in October where Dad tried to remove my child from the school. Not only was it not his parenting time, but I was already on my way to the school. Dad was angry at our child and that was why he wanted to leave the school with him. My child stayed in the office and with the Principal and refused to leave, explaining his concern about being with Dad.

The Principal is writing an objective statement regarding the events of that day. I don't know what, if any, value it will have.

Since I filed this Motion on my own, our first stop will be a settlement meeting with the Family Counselor. We will see how that turns out but I am hopeful as the Family Counselor is the one who both agreed that Family Counseling was needed and should begin immediately and who advised me to file the Motion requesting Supervised Parenting Time. Having communicated with both of us over the years, the Family Counselor has a lot of insight as to what we are dealing with. I realize there are legal limits on what can and can't happen here, but I also know that there is leeway where FOC and my child's well-being are at stake. I am hopeful, but realistic. If Supervision cannot be acheived, I will continue working on coping skills and self-esteem building with my child at home to hopefully mitigate the damage Dad continues to inflict emotionally.

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The Principal is writing an objective statement regarding the events of that day. I don't know what, if any, value it will have.

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his statement concerning the father's temperament and statements may, if they show the father to be a danger to the child.

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Quoting jk

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his statement concerning the father's temperament and statements may, if they show the father to be a danger to the child.

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I suspect the statement will be extremely sterile and confined only to events, and not to perceptions that could be construed as subjective. At least it is confirmation of the fact that there was an incident on that date.

You have been very helpful and helped me stay realistic, and I appreciate it. Thank you. :)