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What Should the Non-Custodial Parent Do if the Custodial Parent is in Jail
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: michigan
i would like to start off with the fact that there is no parenting time arrangement, and my sons mom has sole custody. it is my fault for not pursuing a court order and now i feel i have really effed myself... i do want to file for parenting time, but im wondering if i should go straight for full custody.
my ex quit letting me see my son about 4 weeks ago, i thought it was over an aurgument, but it turns out she is in jail. she has been since oct 21st. her pretrial is the 25th. she is in for assault and battery. the person she assaulted is 17.
this is her first charge as an adult. i know they do not look at her juvey record, but just to show my side a little more, she has two charges of violent crimes from when she was 16 and 17. (she is now 22) one is assault on a police officer and the other is assault with a deadly weapon.
i and my wife have had to get protective orders against my ex in the past because she makes violent threats. shes has shown up at my house in the middle of the night.
she has gotten kicked out of a government subsidised apartment complex for fighting. (tho, that would be hearsay, as i have no proof and probably could not get any besides the word of a couple neighbors)
her and her dad have gotten into physical fights (my son lives with her, and her parents) i know he has witnessed them fighting because hes told me papa hit mom and went to jail.
currently she in locked up for beating up her brothers 17 year old girlfriend.
i have tried to get custody in the past, but it was denied because there was no circumstantial change in the custodial home.
my ex is not stable. she has bounced around from home to home, sometimes taking my son with her, sometimes leavinging him with her parents for months at a time. she has admittedly gone over a month at a time without even seeing him, all the while, i was trying to get a lawyer, filed for custody, and her parents still let me take him every other weekend, thank god.
i cannot pay a lawyer. i could however, supply his basic needs in my home. i feel that he would benefit from my stability. i may be considered working poor, but my family is taken care of. and he will be too. i work nights, and sleep while the kids are in school, so i would be doing the majority of his caretaking when he home.
i feel like i am ranting now. if there is any vital information i have left out, please ask. i am an open book.
and yes, i know how stupid it was of me to not go after a court order parenting plan in the first place. if i could go back and change it i would, but i am trying to do everything i can now!!
thank you all in advance!
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
What is the potential max sentence she faces?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
well, you may very well be incorrect about her record of when she was 16 and 17. The one at 16 may not be on an available record but the one at 17 most likely is. Given the severity of the crimes, I suspect they both are available.
to start with, are you actually considered the legal father? in other words, have you filed an AOP or has the court adjudicated paternity?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
uhm... 93 days i believe. but i also assume she would get time served. shes been in for a month now, and will probably do a couple more weeks between her pretrial and her sentencing date.
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jk
well, you may very well be incorrect about her record of when she was 16 and 17. The one at 16 may not be on an available record but the one at 17 most likely is. Given the severity of the crimes, I suspect they both are available.
to start with, are you actually considered the legal father? in other words, have you filed an AOP or has the court adjudicated paternity?
i did a background check on her, and the thing she is in jail for now is the only thing that showed up.
but the courts can still see her juvey record, right?
also, i am on the birth certificate, i dont know what an aop is.
edit: idk why both replies turned out together like this. sorry
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Okay - you are apparently the legal father since that's the only way an unmarried guy ends up being on the birth certificate.
Here's the problem as I see it. Given Mom's history, logic would seem to agree that the child is better off placed with you. Unfortunately, that's a relatively short time of incarceration and you might end up getting nowhere.
It's certainly worth pursuing though, in my opinion. Get thee to an attorney!
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
the forum automatically does that if you make two posts with nobody else posting in between,
aop affidavit of parentage., It is the document both parents fill out when the parents of a child are not married if they wish to accept the paternity as claimed rather than going to court and demand anything be proven,
it's odd that you didn't find anything on her record since at 17, you are not dealt with in the juvi courts.
whether you may be able to obtain custody is going to depend on a lot of things. Just as important as her record and lifestyle is your record and lifestyle. If you have not been seeing the child regularly, the courts will be hesitatant to award you custody unless there is a danger to the child if s/he remains with the mother.
the worst that is going to happen is she retains custody although joint legal custody would be possibly with her retaining primary physical custody but you will end up with court ordered parenting time though.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Dogmatique
Okay - you are apparently the legal father since that's the only way an unmarried guy ends up being on the birth certificate.
Here's the problem as I see it. Given Mom's history, logic would seem to agree that the child is better off placed with you. Unfortunately, that's a relatively short time of incarceration and you might end up getting nowhere.
It's certainly worth pursuing though, in my opinion. Get thee to an attorney!
i cant afford an attny and i have called like 15 places and they want to charge me for a consultaion. i thought most lawyers did those for free now a days
besides, i am 3 hours away from where they live so its gonna cost me gas money to go up there to file and to show up to court. i will do it, i will scrounge every cent i can to get up there for everthing i need to be there for, but i just dont have the cash to pay a lawyer.
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jk
the forum automatically does that if you make two posts with nobody else posting in between,
aop affidavit of parentage., It is the document both parents fill out when the parents of a child are not married if they wish to accept the paternity as claimed rather than going to court and demand anything be proven,
it's odd that you didn't find anything on her record since at 17, you are not dealt with in the juvi courts.
whether you may be able to obtain custody is going to depend on a lot of things. Just as important as her record and lifestyle is your record and lifestyle. If you have not been seeing the child regularly, the courts will be hesitatant to award you custody unless there is a danger to the child if s/he remains with the mother.
the worst that is going to happen is she retains custody although joint legal custody would be possibly with her retaining primary physical custody but you will end up with court ordered parenting time though.
we do not at an aop then. i do not remmeber signing anything, but i am on his birth certificate and the court so far has recognized me as the father. if you saw us both, it would be indeniable, lol.
tho i havent been seeing him regularly, it has only been a short while. ive missed 2, maybe 3 visits. he is almost 5. i would not think that amount of time would be looked at as too long in the case.
should i wait until she goes to her pretrial conference? would it be weird if i sent a friend or family memember to the court hearing since i couldnt make it myself?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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we do not at an aop then. i do not remmeber signing anything, but i am on his birth certificate and the court so far has recognized me as the father. if you saw us both, it would be indeniable, lol
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if you are on the BC, you had to have filled out an AOP. That is how yuo get put onto the birth certificate.
but just in case something happened;
being on the birth certificate without an AOP does not make you the father. It would be an error.
You need to verfiy you are the legal father if you do not recall filling out the AOP. Until you are the legal father, you can't do anything.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Looks matter not one iota.
My husband and myself are told with some frequency that one or both girls resemble one or both of us.
The fun part? NEITHER of us are biologically related to the girls.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Dogmatique
Looks matter not one iota.
My husband and myself are told with some frequency that one or both girls resemble one or both of us.
The fun part? NEITHER of us are biologically related to the girls.
we all see what we want to see in a child
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Dogmatique
Looks matter not one iota.
My husband and myself are told with some frequency that one or both girls resemble one or both of us.
The fun part? NEITHER of us are biologically related to the girls.
oh no, i know looks dont actually matter. i was just saying...
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jk
.
if you are on the BC, you had to have filled out an AOP. That is how yuo get put onto the birth certificate.
but just in case something happened;
being on the birth certificate without an AOP does not make you the father. It would be an error.
You need to verfiy you are the legal father if you do not recall filling out the AOP. Until you are the legal father, you can't do anything.
how do i find out if there is an aop? would the hospital have record of it?
can we proceed with this thread as if i do have one and i will look into it asap!
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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allenwoods
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how do i find out if there is an aop? would the hospital have record of it?
can we proceed with this thread as if i do have one and i will look into it asap!
I did not read this thoroughly but it sounds like it might be the form:
http://www.michigan.gov/documents/aopapp_60927_7.PDF
if not, take a look at this:
http://www.michigan.gov/documents/veriaop_70006_7.PDF
you do not have to have a lawyer to do what you are doing. It would help, especially since it is so far away and what you are attempting is difficult to do but you do not have to have one. Even with that, I would suggest not doing this without a lawyer if you seriously want to seek custody.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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jk
are there any agencies out there who will do it on a small payment plan? or probono? i just googled pro bono attournys in my area but im jus getting a bunch of ads.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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jk
thank you!!
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
And contact your local court - Michigan appears to be incredibly pro-se friendly :)
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One more thing - you can't send anyone other than an attorney to court on your own behalf.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Gam? Where are you gam? Do you have any Michigan advice for dad here?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Dogmatique
Looks matter not one iota.
My husband and myself are told with some frequency that one or both girls resemble one or both of us.
The fun part? NEITHER of us are biologically related to the girls.
If they were biologically yours, they'd have a birthmark in the shape of a "43" somewhere.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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aardvarc
If they were biologically yours, they'd have a birthmark in the shape of a "43" somewhere.
ROFL!!!! You know it :D
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Dogmatique
And contact your local court - Michigan appears to be incredibly pro-se friendly :)
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One more thing - you can't send anyone other than an attorney to court on your own behalf.
i didnt mean send someone on my behalf. just send someone to HER pre trial.
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can anyone tell me what this means "ORDER RECEIVED FOR OAC"
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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allenwoods
my ex quit letting me see my son about 4 weeks ago, i thought it was over an aurgument, but it turns out she is in jail.
Where is the child?
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Quoting allenwoods
this is her first charge as an adult. i know they do not look at her juvey record, but just to show my side a little more, she has two charges of violent crimes from when she was 16 and 17. (she is now 22) one is assault on a police officer and the other is assault with a deadly weapon.
As others have stated, if she was charged with a crime she committed after the age of 17 she would have been charged as an adult. However, there are dispositions that could have allowed her to avoid having a conviction on her record.
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Quoting allenwoods
...her parents still let me take him every other weekend, thank god.
That history makes it appear that the child is not with his maternal grandparents.
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allenwoods
uhm... 93 days i believe. but i also assume she would get time served. shes been in for a month now, and will probably do a couple more weeks between her pretrial and her sentencing date.
She would only go from a pretrial to a sentencing if she pleads guilty. If she were planning to plead guilty, she could have done so at her arraignment. Are you certain that this isn't a felony charge? The delay you describe would be more consistent with her being bound over to Circuit Court.
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jk
You need to verfiy you are the legal father if you do not recall filling out the AOP. Until you are the legal father, you can't do anything.
An initial custody and support order was entered, and the parties have already litigated a subsequent petition to change custody, so it's not at all likely that there's something lurking in the background that would allow mom to dispute paternity.
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allenwoods
can anyone tell me what this means "ORDER RECEIVED FOR OAC"
I suspect that it means that the court ordered the Office of Assigned Counsel to appoint an attorney to represent her.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Mr. Knowitall
Where is the child?
As others have stated, if she was charged with a crime she committed after the age of 17 she would have been charged as an adult. However, there are dispositions that could have allowed her to avoid having a conviction on her record.
That history makes it appear that the child is not with his maternal grandparents.
She would only go from a pretrial to a sentencing if she pleads guilty. If she were planning to plead guilty, she could have done so at her arraignment. Are you certain that this isn't a felony charge? The delay you describe would be more consistent with her being bound over to Circuit Court.
An initial custody and support order was entered, and the parties have already litigated a subsequent petition to change custody, so it's not at all likely that there's something lurking in the background that would allow mom to dispute paternity.
I suspect that it means that the court ordered the Office of Assigned Counsel to appoint an attorney to represent her.
my son is living with her parents as far as i know. my brother lives down the street from them and they have let him have him for halloween etc, that was before we knew she was in jail and after they stopped allowing me to take him.
the time they were continuing to let me have weekends was back in june when my ex was living with her friend and left my son with her parents. many people have confirmed this, and i have even seen screen shots of her admitting to it. that is when i went to court for custody but nothing could be proven. her and her parents both lied saying that my son was living with her at her friends. even tho i always picked him up at her parents. she always made sure to text me the day before and say "(son) will be at my moms tomorrow i have to work" even after she lost her job.
the back ground check says misdemeanor.
i have actual text messages from her threatening physical violence on me, my wife, and our other children, if i brought those to court over this, would that hold up against her credibility?
does the fact that the vicitm in this case is a minor do anything?
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this may or may not be related. but i was told this morning by her ex best friend that she has delt with cps several times. as the father of the child, am i entittle to the cps reports? if so, how do i get those?
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bumping for answers. thanks everyone so far. everyone has been real helpful.
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I may possibly be getting my son for the day tomorrow. Would it be kidnapping if I did not return him to his grand parents? Could I keep him and file for custody on Monday? Please answer asap. Thanks!
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Have you bothered to file an ex parte custody motion? You could legally be custodian by now had you done so.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Disagreeable
Have you bothered to file an ex parte custody motion? You could legally be custodian by now had you done so.
ive only known she was in jail for 2 or 3 days. i was advised to wait until her pre trial hearing on monday to file.
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Disagreeable
Have you bothered to file an ex parte custody motion? You could legally be custodian by now had you done so.
how do i file ex parte? is there a different form other than the motion to modify custody?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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allenwoods
ive only known she was in jail for 2 or 3 days. i was advised to wait until her pre trial hearing on monday to file.
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how do i file ex parte? is there a different form other than the motion to modify custody?
An ex-parte is the same thing as an emergency order.
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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llworking
An ex-parte is the same thing as an emergency order.
Thanks for finding my orginal thread. Sorry if there was any confusion.
I do not know if there is a seperate form for EMERGENCY custody than the one to simply request a modification.
If I just file the modification, how do they know its an emergency?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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allenwoods
Thanks for finding my orginal thread. Sorry if there was any confusion.
I do not know if there is a seperate form for EMERGENCY custody than the one to simply request a modification.
If I just file the modification, how do they know its an emergency?
I am a little confused. I did not realize that you already had custody orders...I thought that you said that you did not?
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Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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llworking
I am a little confused. I did not realize that you already had custody orders...I thought that you said that you did not?
she has sole custody. custody was determined in jan of 2011. i am an ass and missed the court hearing about it. i showed up a day late. but i swear to you, i have never gotten my days mixed up again. i screwed up bad. i could have gotten joint that day, and regular visitation. i completely screwed my self. and i am kicking my self over it now.
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allenwoods
she has sole custody. custody was determined in jan of 2011. i am an ass and missed the court hearing about it. i showed up a day late. but i swear to you, i have never gotten my days mixed up again. i screwed up bad. i could have gotten joint that day, and regular visitation. i completely screwed my self. and i am kicking my self over it now.
i can find forms to object to an ex parte order, but no forms to start one.
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I found the form. Well, this girl my wife knows found it. But still, i now have it in hand.
Thanks...
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nevermind. i think this is the wrong the form. im so confused. :(( ....