What Should the Non-Custodial Parent Do if the Custodial Parent is in Jail
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: michigan
i would like to start off with the fact that there is no parenting time arrangement, and my sons mom has sole custody. it is my fault for not pursuing a court order and now i feel i have really effed myself... i do want to file for parenting time, but im wondering if i should go straight for full custody.
my ex quit letting me see my son about 4 weeks ago, i thought it was over an aurgument, but it turns out she is in jail. she has been since oct 21st. her pretrial is the 25th. she is in for assault and battery. the person she assaulted is 17.
this is her first charge as an adult. i know they do not look at her juvey record, but just to show my side a little more, she has two charges of violent crimes from when she was 16 and 17. (she is now 22) one is assault on a police officer and the other is assault with a deadly weapon.
i and my wife have had to get protective orders against my ex in the past because she makes violent threats. shes has shown up at my house in the middle of the night.
she has gotten kicked out of a government subsidised apartment complex for fighting. (tho, that would be hearsay, as i have no proof and probably could not get any besides the word of a couple neighbors)
her and her dad have gotten into physical fights (my son lives with her, and her parents) i know he has witnessed them fighting because hes told me papa hit mom and went to jail.
currently she in locked up for beating up her brothers 17 year old girlfriend.
i have tried to get custody in the past, but it was denied because there was no circumstantial change in the custodial home.
my ex is not stable. she has bounced around from home to home, sometimes taking my son with her, sometimes leavinging him with her parents for months at a time. she has admittedly gone over a month at a time without even seeing him, all the while, i was trying to get a lawyer, filed for custody, and her parents still let me take him every other weekend, thank god.
i cannot pay a lawyer. i could however, supply his basic needs in my home. i feel that he would benefit from my stability. i may be considered working poor, but my family is taken care of. and he will be too. i work nights, and sleep while the kids are in school, so i would be doing the majority of his caretaking when he home.
i feel like i am ranting now. if there is any vital information i have left out, please ask. i am an open book.
and yes, i know how stupid it was of me to not go after a court order parenting plan in the first place. if i could go back and change it i would, but i am trying to do everything i can now!!
thank you all in advance!
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
What is the potential max sentence she faces?
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
well, you may very well be incorrect about her record of when she was 16 and 17. The one at 16 may not be on an available record but the one at 17 most likely is. Given the severity of the crimes, I suspect they both are available.
to start with, are you actually considered the legal father? in other words, have you filed an AOP or has the court adjudicated paternity?
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
uhm... 93 days i believe. but i also assume she would get time served. shes been in for a month now, and will probably do a couple more weeks between her pretrial and her sentencing date.
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jk
well, you may very well be incorrect about her record of when she was 16 and 17. The one at 16 may not be on an available record but the one at 17 most likely is. Given the severity of the crimes, I suspect they both are available.
to start with, are you actually considered the legal father? in other words, have you filed an AOP or has the court adjudicated paternity?
i did a background check on her, and the thing she is in jail for now is the only thing that showed up.
but the courts can still see her juvey record, right?
also, i am on the birth certificate, i dont know what an aop is.
edit: idk why both replies turned out together like this. sorry
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Okay - you are apparently the legal father since that's the only way an unmarried guy ends up being on the birth certificate.
Here's the problem as I see it. Given Mom's history, logic would seem to agree that the child is better off placed with you. Unfortunately, that's a relatively short time of incarceration and you might end up getting nowhere.
It's certainly worth pursuing though, in my opinion. Get thee to an attorney!
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
the forum automatically does that if you make two posts with nobody else posting in between,
aop affidavit of parentage., It is the document both parents fill out when the parents of a child are not married if they wish to accept the paternity as claimed rather than going to court and demand anything be proven,
it's odd that you didn't find anything on her record since at 17, you are not dealt with in the juvi courts.
whether you may be able to obtain custody is going to depend on a lot of things. Just as important as her record and lifestyle is your record and lifestyle. If you have not been seeing the child regularly, the courts will be hesitatant to award you custody unless there is a danger to the child if s/he remains with the mother.
the worst that is going to happen is she retains custody although joint legal custody would be possibly with her retaining primary physical custody but you will end up with court ordered parenting time though.
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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Dogmatique
Okay - you are apparently the legal father since that's the only way an unmarried guy ends up being on the birth certificate.
Here's the problem as I see it. Given Mom's history, logic would seem to agree that the child is better off placed with you. Unfortunately, that's a relatively short time of incarceration and you might end up getting nowhere.
It's certainly worth pursuing though, in my opinion. Get thee to an attorney!
i cant afford an attny and i have called like 15 places and they want to charge me for a consultaion. i thought most lawyers did those for free now a days
besides, i am 3 hours away from where they live so its gonna cost me gas money to go up there to file and to show up to court. i will do it, i will scrounge every cent i can to get up there for everthing i need to be there for, but i just dont have the cash to pay a lawyer.
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Quoting
jk
the forum automatically does that if you make two posts with nobody else posting in between,
aop affidavit of parentage., It is the document both parents fill out when the parents of a child are not married if they wish to accept the paternity as claimed rather than going to court and demand anything be proven,
it's odd that you didn't find anything on her record since at 17, you are not dealt with in the juvi courts.
whether you may be able to obtain custody is going to depend on a lot of things. Just as important as her record and lifestyle is your record and lifestyle. If you have not been seeing the child regularly, the courts will be hesitatant to award you custody unless there is a danger to the child if s/he remains with the mother.
the worst that is going to happen is she retains custody although joint legal custody would be possibly with her retaining primary physical custody but you will end up with court ordered parenting time though.
we do not at an aop then. i do not remmeber signing anything, but i am on his birth certificate and the court so far has recognized me as the father. if you saw us both, it would be indeniable, lol.
tho i havent been seeing him regularly, it has only been a short while. ive missed 2, maybe 3 visits. he is almost 5. i would not think that amount of time would be looked at as too long in the case.
should i wait until she goes to her pretrial conference? would it be weird if i sent a friend or family memember to the court hearing since i couldnt make it myself?
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
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we do not at an aop then. i do not remmeber signing anything, but i am on his birth certificate and the court so far has recognized me as the father. if you saw us both, it would be indeniable, lol
.
if you are on the BC, you had to have filled out an AOP. That is how yuo get put onto the birth certificate.
but just in case something happened;
being on the birth certificate without an AOP does not make you the father. It would be an error.
You need to verfiy you are the legal father if you do not recall filling out the AOP. Until you are the legal father, you can't do anything.
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Looks matter not one iota.
My husband and myself are told with some frequency that one or both girls resemble one or both of us.
The fun part? NEITHER of us are biologically related to the girls.
Re: Custodial Parent is in Jail
Quote:
Quoting
Dogmatique
Looks matter not one iota.
My husband and myself are told with some frequency that one or both girls resemble one or both of us.
The fun part? NEITHER of us are biologically related to the girls.
we all see what we want to see in a child