How to Stop Yourself From Compulsively Shoplifting

I really REALLY should know better. When I was 18, I was arrested for theft. I wasn't handcuffed, but I was put in the back of a police cruiser, driven to the police station and booked. Fingerprinted, locked in a cell, the whole nine yards. I was scared out of my mind, completely clueless about the whole arrest process. The police gave me a list of bail bondsmen in the area, and I called one at random. The most humiliating part had to be my parents finding out. (I was in college at the time). They had to drive five hours to come bail me out. I felt so guilty, ashamed and embarrassed to face them. I had hoped I could handle it on my own, without them finding out, but that was a short lived plan. Luckily for me, the bondsman recommended a good lawyer. This was in a small college town and it turned out that my lawyer had a good relationship with the prosecutor. He was able to handle my case without my having to enter a courtroom. It took a year or two to expunge my record. That was definitely my 'wake up call' and I stopped shoplifting, cold turkey. After graduation, I started work, and my job requires both state and federal background checks. I was nervous about my past, but I guess the expungement worked because I passed the background check without any problems. (Moral turpitude is something that would definitely impact hiring for my job).

Fast forward to now, and it's been 10 years since my arrest. I've started shoplifting again, after 10 years of good behavior. I'm sure a lot has changed technology and security-wise, but I'm still doing the same stupid crap. I started small (literally) with a chapstick from a Big Box Store. I've been back at it for about 5 months, which is about how long since I found out my husband was cheating on me. Not that it's an excuse, just me trying to identify the catalyst that started this behavior again. I've gotten more reckless and stupid, increasing both frequency and amount. I started seeing a therapist because of this and I'm on a couple of different medications. One for depression and another that's usually given to people trying to stop drugs/alcohol/smoking...none of which I do, but it's supposed to help with the compulsion to shoplift.

I came to this forum and have been reading stories in an attempt to 'scare myself straight but I'll be honest, it just makes me want to shoplift MORE. I have no one to blame but myself and I know it's just a matter of time before I'm caught again. I don't know what the point of posting all this is...except that maybe it will help me feel accountable and guilty enough to stop.

Scaring yourself obviously isn't working. You need psychiatric help. There's unlikely anything we can say or you can read here that is going to fix this.

Well, I am seeing a therapist, but it's still in the early stages, so I'm not sure how effective it is yet. I think admitting it (albeit in an anonymous online forum) is my attempt at holding myself responsible and stopping this destructive behavior.

You need more visits with that therapist. Also see if there is Shoplifters Anonymous in your area and start attending meetings.

Let me try to scare you:
- It will cost you thousands of dollars WHEN you get caught.
- You likely will go to court and many people will see you, hear your name. You may even make your local papers Crime Blotter.
- If hubby is cheating on you and you need to move, many apartments will not accept a convicted thief.
- If you need to find a new job, your choices will be very limited. You won't be a nurse, a pharmacist, you won't even be a Dinner Hostess in a Senior Center. You won't be working retail. 4.5 years later, I got turned down for a Data Entry position! Trust me, even the staffing agencies won't take you. And since your job requires state and federal background checks, there is a very good chance you will lose your job.

PandorasBox, I appreciate your taking the time to reply. I can't believe it affected your job search so long after the fact. Do employers give you a chance to explain, or do they just see the incident and automatically say no?

Just a comment....i would think potential employers would see it and move on to the next candiadte right away as the job market is swamped right now.

As one of my local judges said, he'd rather hire a drug addict than a thief. Drug addicts are easier to rehab.

needtostop: Yep, 4.5 years after it, it has really affected my job search. I did it because I was Caregiver for an abusive grandparent and wanted out. But if I had simply left, would have faced Elder Abandonment charges. Had she kicked me out, I would have been free and clear. (in the end, she needed me, so she did not kick me out).

So I did all the Word and Excel testing for a temp agency, and got "You've got great skills, but we can't take a chance on you". A lot has been lack of experience in some fields, and a lot has been "oh, you have a misdemeanor, we can't hire you".

I had a short-term job where a $50 went missing. Oh hell, I was panicking! "There gonna blame me!". Thankfully, there were cameras that showed I put it under the drawer (as I was supposed to), and whoever worked the drawer next had to put a large bill into that lower drawer later, and it fell onto the floor and someone picked it up. But until that camera was gone over...I was thinking "Oh shit, I'm gonna be blamed, I'm gonna be blamed......". That is one thing I hate about 6 people sharing a register.

I've had Independent Contractor gigs, but the hours are not stable, and not enough to pay for bills. I just got out of debt after 3 years. I start at McDonald's on Tuesday. Atleast they gave me a chance. In late April I can file for expungment, but that can be a 6 month process.

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I hope that has sufficiently scared you.
Seriously: For my charge:
$1500 for a lawyer.
$250 Civil Demand
$302 Court Costs and Fines.
- $80,000+ in lost income. Living with a friend of my moms where I am not wanted.

And yes, I had applied at McD's atleast 5 times before. I've been denied at TacoBell, BurgerKing, Arby's, Wendy's, KFC, you name it.....I was turned down.