Domestic Violence Charge Resulting from a Misunderstanding

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The EPO (Emergency Protective Order) is issued without court hearing on behalf of the "victim" and in no way prohibit contact between the parties.

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you are wrong

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So the OP CAN talk and visit her husband any time she whishes, talk to him any time she whishes! If you ask a criminal or family attorney he will tell you the same. The EPO does NOT prohibit contact between the parties!

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and you would be wrong. never heard of a bilateral order?


bear; please disregard mark2010 statements, or at least verify them with an actual attorney before even considering following any of them

The problem I see is this:

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. so I simply said "he kinda smacked me on the leg when I pulled him from the window"

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he kinda smacked me.

that is a world of difference from something like:

when we both fell back my leg was injured when i was hit on the leg by the motions in play or his hand flew against my leg as we fell into the room causing this red mark

or many other innocuous explanations to what you would have a red mark

or even better, you should not have brought the cops attention to the mark and if he questioned you, you respond with one of the innocuous responses.

The statement "he kinda smacked me" is a statement that he hit you with intent although not with his full force.

In fact, your entire opening paragraph sounds like nothing more than setting up an excuse for the red mark without admitting it was from him intentionally hitting you. Yes, I tend to play devil's advocate often so you can take it as that or how one person views your statement in all honesty.

I am just so confused as what to do. If we go to court, I feel like it could make the situation worse, as well as result in the time and fees. But in the end, we could still lose and they give him a worse sentence because they think he's lying. Or they might think I was giving false statements to the police. Is me not giving the police all the information/accidentally misleading them (if I just explain that I was hysterical and not thinking straight) enough for them to arrest or charge me?

At the same time, if he takes a plea bargain for a lesser sentence, I'm afraid the conviction will lose him his job. :/

Does anyone know if a conviction will result in the loss of his job? Or what the chances of any jail time are?

Sorry, I know nothing about any of this... just on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

losing his job is up to his employer and/or if there are any governmental regulations addressing people with criminal records. No employer, not under such government regulations, is ever required to terminate employment against their will.

possibility of jail time: he needs to be speaking to his lawyer about that. Whether jail time is given in any particular situation varies greatly but one very important issue is the locality and often the specific judge. His lawyer would be much better equipped to be able to give your husband of the possibilities.

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Is me not giving the police all the information/accidentally misleading them (if I just explain that I was hysterical and not thinking straight) enough for them to arrest or charge me?

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accidentally? No. Intentionally misinformation; yes. A misunderstanding on the cops part does not mean you intentionally lied or even mislead the cop.

as to the "I'll just explain"..been tried before. It is often discounted. A person in that hysterical condition has not had time or the sense to formulate a "story" while a person days or even weeks after the incident has and has often conspired with the defendant to attempt to now provide contrary claims in an effort to have the charges dismissed.

Your husband needs a lawyer. he needs to be speaking with his lawyer concerning all of the issues you bring up.

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Quoting xmalbearx

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I am just so confused as what to do. If we go to court, I feel like it could make the situation worse, as well as result in the time and fees. But in the end, we could still lose and they give him a worse sentence because they think he's lying. Or they might think I was giving false statements to the police. Is me not giving the police all the information/accidentally misleading them (if I just explain that I was hysterical and not thinking straight) enough for them to arrest or charge me?

At the same time, if he takes a plea bargain for a lesser sentence, I'm afraid the conviction will lose him his job. :/

Does anyone know if a conviction will result in the loss of his job? Or what the chances of any jail time are?

Sorry, I know nothing about any of this... just on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

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Sorry for the confusion on our part - unfortunately Mark gave you craptastic advice which might have ended up with YOU getting into trouble.

Anyway. Go to court. You WILL be given the opportunity to speak and give your side of the story. You have to bear in mind though that there are so many victims who recant their original statements that these days the judge doesn't necessarily need your revised statement.



As far as anything else goes, your husband needs to get his attorney to explain the options. We can't give you a "yes" or "no".

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Quoting jk

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he kinda smacked me.
that is a world of difference from something like: when we both fell back my leg was injured when i was hit on the leg by the motions in play or his hand flew against my leg as we fell into the room causing this red mark

or even better, you should not have brought the cops attention to the mark.

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I understand your point of view on everything, and it is the same point of view I'm afraid the jury will have, which is why I'm having such a hard time figuring out how to fight it. I have no experience with cops whatsoever, and I thought if I just answered their specific questions, it would be better. The way I worded what happened is exactly why... I don't exactly think well under pressure. I was just in no state of mind to explain anything to them. Could barely even talk, I seriously thought my husband would kill himself and was horrified.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Sorry for the confusion on our part - unfortunately Mark gave you craptastic advice which might have ended up with YOU getting into trouble.

Anyway. Go to court. You WILL be given the opportunity to speak and give your side of the story. You have to bear in mind though that there are so many victims who recant their original statements that these days the judge doesn't necessarily need your revised statement.

As far as anything else goes, your husband needs to get his attorney to explain the options. We can't give you a "yes" or "no".

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Thank you for your advice. I guess my main concern is that, if we go to court and they think we have made it all up, if it will make things worse on him. (I take full responsibility for it and wouldn't blame them if they didn't believe us... but I sincerely hope for my husband's sake that we can beat this and I want to do everything I possibly can right to make this work.) For example, if they give him a plea bargain of a smaller fine instead of jail time, and we still try to fight it so he doesn't have that conviction on his record... I'm scared if they think he is lying and find him guilty, they will be harder on him and send him to jail.