Is a Studio Apartment Acceptable for Visitation with Joint Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA
My ex will be moving into a studio apartment with our six and eleven year old daughters. We share 50/50 custody. Along with several issues we've been having with our custody schedule I'm not happy at all that the girls will be in such a small space. How do the courts usually feel about parents living in a studio with no private space for the kids? To add we have no formal custody order we have always just shared 50/50 for the last three years although I'm currently filing paperwork to have a court order child custody agreement.

Kids don't need "private space," they need shelter. If he's providing shelter, that's all he needs to do. The court's don't care that he has a studio apartment and he won't be required to meet your requirements either.

Wow ok I guess kids just need "shelter". Like dogs I suppose. Not my requirements just thinking how how kids must feel about dad getting studio when he can afford more and wont give them what they need. There's more to being a dad than just providing shelter and if the courts don't see that then we have a very flawed and sad system.

So do you suggest that the courts take away all children of parents who have their kids in a studio apartment or is it just your kids who don't deserve to see their father because his apartment is small? What happens if both parents only have a studio apartment? Do the kids go into foster care?

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I'll say this. You already sound as if you're going into this divorce as a bitter and stubborn woman. That attitude isn't going to serve your children well. Your kids need to see parents who will coparent regardless of what caused the breakup of their marriage because that's YOUR personal issue, not something the kids should be more collateral damage of than you've already made them.

But if you believe dad should have a bigger place, how come you don't help him pay for a bigger place?

I'm hardly bitter lol. I've co-parented with my ex for over three years. He has changed and been checked out for almost a year now with his own personal issues and the kids have paid the price for it. In fact he got a studio to save money so he can move two hours away to live with his girlfriend at the end of the next school year. I have begged and pleaded for him to Not to move. So you see your very wrong about who I am and what it is I'm looking for. I'm not ok with him having the kids 50 percent of the time with him living in a studio apartment. Im not ok with him leaving the kids with other people on his custody days, forgetting were they are and asking me if i have them. He can take them every other weekend absolutely. But my kids need more than he's willing to provide I feel. So thank you for trying to help answer my question but you sound like an ass and hopefully someone else can provide me with helpful tips or information.

[QUOTE=Lunatink;755154]My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

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My ex will be moving into a studio apartment with our six and eleven year old daughters

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. for a minute I freaked. Given the main question and why it might be relevant to your situation, I started reading that as; with 6 of our 11 daughters.

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We share 50/50 custody. Along with several issues we've been having with our custody schedule I'm not happy at all that the girls will be in such a small space. How do the courts usually feel about parents living in a studio with no private space for the kids? To add we have no formal custody order we have always just shared 50/50 for the last three years although I'm currently filing paperwork to have a court order child custody agreement

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so, what's your problem? Granted it is not the best situation for them but at least it isn't a refrigerator box along side the road. Do you want to give dad enough money so she can get a bigger apartment? If not, worry about things that matter; clean, safe, warm. After that, the rest is window dressing.

Helpful tip: Get therapy. Your children don't care that he lives in a studio and a lot can happen between now and the end of the school year, but if he chooses to move 2 hours away, then he's perfectly able to do so. But look at it this way... if he moves 2 hours away, he can't exercise 50/50.

I want him to have 50/50. I want him to share custody with me. All I'm asking is that he live in the same city, keep them on his custody days, and and least get a one bedroom for the girls. If he cant do those things then i would like to see of I can get full custody and him every other weekend visitation. But your wrong if you think the kids don't care. They do because they can see the parents priority choices.

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Quoting Lunatink

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I want him to have 50/50. I want him to share custody with me. All I'm asking is that he live in the same city, keep them on his custody days, and and least get a one bedroom for the girls. If he cant do those things then i would like to see of I can get full custody and him every other weekend visitation. But your wrong if you think the kids don't care. They do because they can see the parents priority choices.

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At least one bedroom? No, the court just isn't going to care at the moment.

Once the girls hit puberty? That might be a different matter entirely.

One little note - kids generally don't care unless the parent makes a huge issue of it. Then they feel torn - do I agree with Mom, or do I stick up for Dad?

Why is it that everyone thinks mom and dad create issues in the kids minds? I'm astonished! Its not like that in all cases. Kids when raised correctly are taught to think and feel for themselves. They don't need mom and dad to tell them how to feel. They are perceptive, smart and very aware of their emotional and physical needs. My older daughter hit puberty a year and half ago so it does make her feel uncomfortable to be living in a studio and still sleeping with her little sister. And if my ex was half the father he was for the first two years of our separation I would not being pushing this issue.