Baby Mama Left the State with Child

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

My boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend had a son together. There is no legal agreement of custody in order, to my knowledge. He has a child support order that he pays through the system and as far as we know the baby mama is on DSS. Approximately one year to one and a half years ago, she left the state with their son. For a short period of time, he was able to talk to his son via her cell phone but over the past year or more, she no longer answers his calls so he has had no contact with his son since. He's 8 years old.

He went to file paperwork at family court in the county we live in but they told him that because so much time has lapsed that he needs to seek legal counsel now (which he can't afford).

Is this legal for her to just take her son out of state? If he is paying child support, can't someone find out where she is located? And extradite her back here with his son?

This is killing my boyfriend. Many would probably testify that the son deserves to be with his father versus his mother.

Please help!

You can call her "Mom". Seeing as that's who she is.

Yes, she can remove the child. And Dad has absolutely no chance of the court ordering Mom to return to home state. And as of right now, the court isn't going to take the child away from Mom unless there is a darned good reason for doing so (think serious abuse and neglect).

Child support is irrelevant; if Dad wants to see his son then he's going to have to find a way of tracking them down.

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Quoting tryinghardtohelp

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There is no legal agreement of custody in order, to my knowledge.

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Dad should have addressed that EIGHT YEARS ago.

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Approximately one year to one and a half years ago, she left the state with their son.

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Perfectly legal, since there was NO custody order in place to the contrary. This is why he needed to have an order in place. No order, no foul on mom's part.

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He went to file paperwork at family court in the county we live in but they told him that because so much time has lapsed that he needs to seek legal counsel now (which he can't afford).

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Then he needs to (a) start saving for an attorney, and (b) figure out where they are. He's going to have to pursue legal action in whatever state the child now lives in.

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Is this legal for her to just take her son out of state?

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Absolutely. If dad wanted enforceable rights regarding his child, he needed to either marry mom and address visitation/custody in the divorce, or, get a custody order. Since he did neither, he's left high and dry.

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If he is paying child support, can't someone find out where she is located?

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Where SHE is located, and where child support services is sending the money don't have to be the same place. She could very well still be using her New York account to accept the money, but living virtually anywhere in the world. Someone can find out, but it's not going to be Child Support Services, if that's what you're asking. There are lots of online tools to find people, if one has the time and motivation to do so, or, dad can seek the services of a private investigator to hunt them down.

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And extradite her back here with his son?

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Nope. Not after dad let more than 6 months pass between mom moving and him doing anything about it. Now mom and child are legal residents of their new state, and dad is going to have to take any action in THAT state.

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This is killing my boyfriend.

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Then he needs to take the steps to do what he should have done LONG LONG ago and seek a visitation order. But it isn't going to be cheap or easy at this stage.

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Many would probably testify that the son deserves to be with his father versus his mother.

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Not relevant. He's WITH his mother, and that's not going to change unless the child is found to be in a state of abuse or neglect. Where were all these people up until now, and why did none of them tell him that he needed to be establishing visitation? This is really super basic child custody information, that can be found in bazillions of places on even the scantiest of custody sites all over the interweb.

Wow, thanks for making me feel like total shit with your responses! I appreciate it.

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Quoting tryinghardtohelp

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Wow, thanks for making me feel like total shit with your responses! I appreciate it.

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?!

The only person who can make you feel bad is yourself.

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Quoting tryinghardtohelp

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Wow, thanks for making me feel like total shit with your responses! I appreciate it.

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This isn't a support group, this is a place to get legal information.

We can't help that you don't like the legal reality, and we're not going to roll it in powdered sugar so you find it more palatable. Frankly, the situation is none of your business to begin with.