How to Formalize Custody Agreement Into an Order

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

I have two children, age 6, twins(boy and girl) and for a bit over a year and a half, i have taken primary care of the twins. The mother and I were never married and split up in August of 2012. Prior to the split, I was placed on child support. In late 2011, the mother applied for state benefits, and without my knowledge claimed to receive no assistance from me, despite living together. I was later served and even agreed to the terms, to take advantage of the short-lived benefits as i had the debit card in my possession. Custody terms were never established. When the mother and i split, she did agree to end the child support payments and has allowed me to take primary care of the kids. She would get them every weekend from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening, which has now changed to Monday morning. I do not ask for financial support of the mother since she does have them every weekend and to avoid the argument.

The mother throughout our relationship has wanted to move to another state, and since we have split, has threatened to leave on a whim. With a new threat surfacing, i have come to the decision that i should take control out of both of our hands and let a judge decide, and obviously in my favor. I would like to know if i have a leg to actually stand on in this. I would like to be established as the custodial parent, still iffy on establishing a support order and know how i can maintain the order. I know that historically courts favor the mom and for good reason, but i do hope that it can be determined that i am the better decision.

I dont know exactly what will determine who is best, but i do feel that i am in a better position to care for them. I current have a steady job , making enough to pay bills and for food etc and i am currently a full time student at a local university. I have reliable transportation and the children have done well in school under my care. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, with plenty of room.

The mother also has a good steady job, but has not had a car for a little under a year, due to engine failure. She is able to get around though by public transportation if needed and borrowing a family members car. She lives with 5 other adult family members in a 2 bedroom apartment.

Would i possibly be considered as the custodial parent? if so, how can i maintain it? What should i know before starting this?
Thank you for your time and assistance

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Quoting kendotelie

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

I have two children, age 6, twins(boy and girl) and for a bit over a year and a half, i have taken primary care of the twins. The mother and I were never married and split up in August of 2012. Prior to the split, I was placed on child support. In late 2011, the mother applied for state benefits, and without my knowledge claimed to receive no assistance from me, despite living together. I was later served and even agreed to the terms, to take advantage of the short-lived benefits as i had the debit card in my possession. Custody terms were never established. When the mother and i split, she did agree to end the child support payments and has allowed me to take primary care of the kids. She would get them every weekend from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening, which has now changed to Monday morning. I do not ask for financial support of the mother since she does have them every weekend and to avoid the argument.

The mother throughout our relationship has wanted to move to another state, and since we have split, has threatened to leave on a whim. With a new threat surfacing, i have come to the decision that i should take control out of both of our hands and let a judge decide, and obviously in my favor. I would like to know if i have a leg to actually stand on in this. I would like to be established as the custodial parent, still iffy on establishing a support order and know how i can maintain the order. I know that historically courts favor the mom and for good reason, but i do hope that it can be determined that i am the better decision.

I dont know exactly what will determine who is best, but i do feel that i am in a better position to care for them. I current have a steady job , making enough to pay bills and for food etc and i am currently a full time student at a local university. I have reliable transportation and the children have done well in school under my care. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, with plenty of room.

The mother also has a good steady job, but has not had a car for a little under a year, due to engine failure. She is able to get around though by public transportation if needed and borrowing a family members car. She lives with 5 other adult family members in a 2 bedroom apartment.

Would i possibly be considered as the custodial parent? if so, how can i maintain it? What should i know before starting this?
Thank you for your time and assistance

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Ok dad...you are making a classic mistake that many parents seem to make. Virtually NONE of the bolded is relevant to a custody decision. Economic factors cannot be used without violating a parent's constitutional rights.

What IS relevant is who has been the primary caretaker for the children...which appears to have been you for the last 1 1/2 years. Therefore, absent some issue that you haven't disclosed, you would have a better than decent shot at remaining the parent with primary custody.

However, if you work full time during the week, and mom has every weekend, then mom could argue that she spends more awake time with the children than you do.

Sorry i over estimated how long i had them under my care. Its only been a year and 2 months and not to be to nit picky in this, but does that change a bit since she works every other Saturday. Also, my schedule at work is Friday thru Monday (10 hour shifts), the same days that she has them. My school schedule changes, from term to term, but i usually only attend a campus class one evening in the middle of the week. What type of issues would disqualify me as remaining the parent with primary custody?

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Quoting kendotelie

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Sorry i over estimated how long i had them under my care. Its only been a year and 2 months and not to be to nit picky in this, but does that change a bit since she works every other Saturday. Also, my schedule at work is Friday thru Monday (10 hour shifts), the same days that she has them. My school schedule changes, from term to term, but i usually only attend a campus class one evening in the middle of the week. What type of issues would disqualify me as remaining the parent with primary custody?

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Ok...I need more information. What is your EXACT work schedule? What is mom's EXACT work schedule? What is your current school schedule?

My schedule:
Work
Friday 2pm to 12:30am
Saturday Sunday & Monday 8am to 6:30pm
School
Usually Wednesday or Thursday but always 6pm to 10pm
Online class for other two or three classes

Moms schedule
Monday & Tuesday 10am to 7pm
Wednesday and Thursday 8:45am to 5pm
Every other Saturday 8am to 3pm

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Quoting kendotelie

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My schedule:
Work
Friday 2pm to 12:30am
Saturday Sunday & Monday 8am to 6:30pm
School
Usually Wednesday or Thursday but always 6pm to 10pm
Online class for other two or three classes

Moms schedule
Monday & Tuesday 10am to 7pm
Wednesday and Thursday 8:45am to 5pm
Every other Saturday 8am to 3pm

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Ok...then the amount of time that you spend with the children is Monday from between 6:45 or so until bedtime. Tuesday and Wednesday from after school until bedtime, and either Wednesday or Thursday from after school until 5:45 or so.

Mom is with the children from after school on Friday, all day every other Saturday, from 3:15 or so every other Saturday, and all day Sunday. It looks to me like mom is definitely spending more awake time with the children than you are...and mom has 3 overnights a week to your 4 overnights per week. I think that is probably going to be viewed as more a 50/50 schedule than you having primary custody.

Where are the children until 6:30 on Monday, and on Wednesday or Thursday while you are at school? Where are the children when mom works every other Saturday?

Monday, my girlfriend picks them up from school and cares for them until i arrive home. Its a toss up between my girlfriend and the mom on Wednesday or Thursday, as it depends on if mom has timely transportation

For mom, one of her family members in the household cares for them

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Quoting kendotelie

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Monday, my girlfriend picks them up from school and cares for them until i arrive home. Its a toss up between my girlfriend and the mom on Wednesday or Thursday, as it depends on if mom has timely transportation

For mom, one of her family members in the household cares for them

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Ok...then mom is DEFINITELY spending more awake time with the children than you are, and possibly even more actual time than you are. I definitely don't think that you would be regarded as having primary custody at this point. 50/50 perhaps but not primary.

Now, that doesn't mean that mom would win the right to relocate the children, but your position is not quite as strong as it initially seemed. If you take it to court for enforceable orders then you are likely going to end up with joint legal and physical custody, and the same parenting schedule that you have now. Now, the advantage to that is that mom wouldn't be able to simply up and move the children away, but she really couldn't have done that anyway, because you could have rushed to court and obtained an order for her to return the children to the home community.

The disadvantage to that is that mom might gain Wednesday or Thursday overnight. (whichever night you have class). Why? Because they are 6 years old and you have class from 6-10. That would definitely make mom the primary custodial parent.

Ok i understand that. The relocation is my only concern, and having joint custody isnt a problem for me. What is that order you referred to called?

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Quoting llworking

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Ok...then mom is DEFINITELY spending more awake time with the children than you are, and possibly even more actual time than you are. I definitely don't think that you would be regarded as having primary custody at this point. 50/50 perhaps but not primary.

Now, that doesn't mean that mom would win the right to relocate the children, but your position is not quite as strong as it initially seemed. If you take it to court for enforceable orders then you are likely going to end up with joint legal and physical custody, and the same parenting schedule that you have now. Now, the advantage to that is that mom wouldn't be able to simply up and move the children away, but she really couldn't have done that anyway, because you could have rushed to court and obtained an order for her to return the children to the home community.

The disadvantage to that is that mom might gain Wednesday or Thursday overnight. (whichever night you have class). Why? Because they are 6 years old and you have class from 6-10. That would definitely make mom the primary custodial parent.

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Yeap, in complete agreement here.

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Quoting kendotelie

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Ok i understand that. The relocation is my only concern, and having joint custody isnt a problem for me. What is that order you referred to called?

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Sorry but I am not sure that I understand your question. Are you referring to getting a judge to order that the children be returned to the home community if mom takes off with them? If so, then it doesn't have a "title" per se.

yes, that is what i was referring to. But how can that be so if theres no current order of custody to anyone?

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is this the statute that could help me with this?
Child Relocation Law in Florida - Fla. Stat. 61.13001

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Quoting kendotelie

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yes, that is what i was referring to. But how can that be so if theres no current order of custody to anyone?

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is this the statute that could help me with this?
Child Relocation Law in Florida - Fla. Stat. 61.13001

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You would have to file for custody as part of the process.

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Quoting llworking

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You would have to file for custody as part of the process.

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Ok, i've let this go on for too long with no legal protection. Thank you for your prompt responses. I never thought our current arrangement like how it was described, her spending more awake time. I always felt that i had the harder job, with the daily to and from to school, and home-keeping, and homework, etc. By all means, shes a great mother, almost always taking them out to do fun things on her weekends with them. But the children leaving to another state just isnt how i wanted this.