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Step-Parent Adoption While Living in a Different State Than Bio Parent

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  • 10-15-2013, 06:48 AM
    gtranquility
    Step-Parent Adoption While Living in a Different State Than Bio Parent
    My question involves adoption law for the State of: Virginia; Maine

    My ex and I were married/divorced in Maine. I have full custody, but he has visitation once a week. He has not had any contact with his children in almost two years, but due to the fact that I got food stamps for a period of time after he left, the State of Maine's Social Services Dept went after child support from him and attaches his wages. He stopped paying about six weeks ago b/c he's no longer working (I heard rumor his work was shut down) and last time this happened it took over a year to start getting money (he lives with his mom and doesn't care about having a job). We've been divorced 5 years (children were 4 and 2) and with re: younger son, he has never really had a relationship with his father and has been begging to be adopted for over a year now. I won't push it on my older son if he really doesn't want to.

    Husband is from Virginia; we moved here from Maine in April. My husband really wants to adopt (which I am more than happy with); I'd also be content with simply terminating his parental rights on grounds of abandonment, but I don't know how I'd go about it. Will Virginia have jurisdiction over this case? Is it essential that I hire a lawyer to deal with this? I absolutely cannot afford one, and my ex won't sign over his rights or even agree to a name change because of his own family pressure, but he has made nary a phone call.

    TIA for any help.
  • 10-15-2013, 07:29 AM
    flyingron
    Re: Step-Parent Adoption While Living in a Different State Than Bio Parent
    You need to keep everything in a single thread. It's a waste of our time to have things spread all in multiple threads.

    You can file in Virginia after you have lived here six months. You will absolutely need a lawyer. This isn't a slam-dunk unless the father is either deceased or is voluntarily willing to surrender his rights. You can certainly make the case of abandonment, but he still needs to be notified. This is not a trivial undertaking, and you appear not to be able to do the basic research nor follow simple procedural instructions, so I suspect there is no way you'll make this happen pro se.
  • 10-15-2013, 08:17 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Step-Parent Adoption While Living in a Different State Than Bio Parent
    The six month issue is a UCCJEA issue, that is to say a custody issue. If you moved in April, the six months are likely over or just about over; the issue being that if you attempt to initiate proceedings before the six months are up, your ex- can try to reopen the Maine custody proceedings and argue that issues affecting custody belong in that state. He can try that afterward, but after six months the new state would normally be regarded as the children's new home state and thus the appropriate forum for litigation.

    You can read the Virginia adoption statutes here - as you can see, they're not impossible to follow but there's a lot to parse. It would be much easier if your ex- would consent to the adoption. As he will not, there is potential for him to argue against step-parent adoption once he's properly served with notice of the proceedings.
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