Can I Refuse Visitation if Our Child Would Have to Fly Unattended

I am just frustrated and do not want to have to go to court... but do not want to allow him to treat my child like trash anymore!! Its not OK for someone to come and go the way he does... its effecting my child... and not in a good way!

Teach your son coping skills. Because, as I said, if Dad DOES manage to get the order modified you will be sending your son.

I had taken him to counseling years ago, for about a year... she was wonderful for him...I am debating taking him back again, I always think it helps to have someone to talk to that is not biased to the situation.... His life here at home is wonderful, he has a great step-dad and a wonderful little brother and little sister... he is the light of his papa's life.. my dad. I really have tried to work with his father over the years... so we would not become those people who are in court all the time... but when do you finally draw the line and say enough is enough... I honestly at this point wish he would just stay away, until my son is older.... for years I prayed he would call and be the dad he was supposed to be, I sent him phone cards, always had my son make him father days cards, call him on his birthday etc... I am that ex wife, I don't like arguing with him.... but he doesn't put our childs well being to heart... just tries to impress who is with at the time, or not impress them at all, and make them his whole priority.... its all very sad.

Unfortunately, it's sad, but legal. Two very different animals. You picked a person whose parenting values apparantly aren't the same as yours or whose value on parenting declined for one or more reasons after the fact. But the courts can't and won't attempt to force a parent to be a good parent, a capable parent, a caring parent, an involved parent, or the parent you wish them to be. Bottom line is that once someone is a parent, they're a parent, period. Good, bad, or otherwise - the exception being if that parent can be proven to be a physical danger to the child, or, if that parent is willing to bless a step parent adoption and willfully cut their ties to their child. Short of that, parents are allowed to be pretty much as craptacular as they're willing to be. When one parent is craptacular, the other parent simply has to respond as best they can, by getting the child the help the child may need to develop coping skills, express anger or feelings of abandonment, etc. You're not going to change dad. Best you're going to do is arm your child with coping skills.

Yes you are right, and unfortunately this is not the first child he has done this to. I met him when I was in high school, he is five years older than me... We started dating when I was 18 by that time he had already gotten a girl pregnant, married her, left her when her daughter was just two months old... I did not find out all the circumstances until well into our relationship... he ended up signing his rights away to his daughter, but now does have a relationship with her. When we got married all I heard about was how much he wanted a child but the bottom line is he liked the idea of having one, but not actually doing the work to raise one. He isn't a terrible person, but he is a awful dad....