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Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name

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  • 10-03-2013, 02:22 PM
    hwky
    Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Michigan

    Hello. First, I appreciate any feedback you may be able to give me. My child is 3 years old and has my maiden name. 8 months ago, I married and changed my name to my current, married name. My child's father is not on the birthcertificate and has no contact with my child (nor has for over 2 years). My husband would like to adopt my child, but we have been advised to wait a minimum of 14 months to begin any adoption proceedings. That said, my child having a different last name than I is confusing, especially when it is my maiden name (and not his biological father's name). Additionally, my child is learning his full name and spelling at school, and I was hoping I might be able to legally change his name before a formal adoption were to take place so that his name and my own continued to be the same, and so that he would not need to relearn a new last name in just a year or so. Would the name change proceeding be nearly as difficult and involved as the full adoption proceeding? Or would there perhaps be an easier way to do a name change?

    Additionally, would the name change have to take place in the state where my child was born (MI)? We currently live in a new state, and have for an extended period of time. Would it be possible to do the name change in the current state?
  • 10-03-2013, 02:25 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Not a popular option, but an option nonetheless: Change your last name to match that of your child.

    That aside, have a read here: http://courts.mi.gov/Self-help/cente...eChangeSH.aspx

    You may need to look at your current state's laws, too. Google is your friend :)

    (Given that the child has never had Dad's name, you shouldn't actually have too much trouble changing the last name - although doing so outside of a stepparent adoption is often referred to as a "backdoor adoption")
  • 10-03-2013, 02:27 PM
    llworking
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting hwky
    View Post
    My question involves name change laws in the State of: Michigan

    Hello. First, I appreciate any feedback you may be able to give me. My child is 3 years old and has my maiden name. 8 months ago, I married and changed my name to my current, married name. My child's father is not on the birthcertificate and has no contact with my child (nor has for over 2 years). My husband would like to adopt my child, but we have been advised to wait a minimum of 14 months to begin any adoption proceedings. That said, my child having a different last name than I is confusing, especially when it is my maiden name (and not his biological father's name). Additionally, my child is learning his full name and spelling at school, and I was hoping I might be able to legally change his name before a formal adoption were to take place so that his name and my own continued to be the same, and so that he would not need to relearn a new last name in just a year or so. Would the name change proceeding be nearly as difficult and involved as the full adoption proceeding? Or would there perhaps be an easier way to do a name change?

    Additionally, would the name change have to take place in the state where my child was born (MI)? We currently live in a new state, and have for an extended period of time. Would it be possible to do the name change in the current state?

    Some things to think about...what if the adoption (for one reason or another) doesn't take place for years and you and your husband end up getting divorced? Would you be happy or glad that you had changed your child's last name?

    What if the name change and adoption happens, but 5 or 10 years down the road you and your husband divorce? Would you be ok with your husband getting primary custody of his legal child and you paying him child support, or would your husband be happy to pay child support to you?

    These are all things that you need to think about carefully, and probably think about until you are way past the first flush of being happily married.
  • 10-03-2013, 02:32 PM
    hwky
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Not a popular option, but an option nonetheless: Change your last name to match that of your child.

    That aside, have a read here: http://courts.mi.gov/Self-help/cente...eChangeSH.aspx

    You may need to look at your current state's laws, too. Google is your friend :)

    (Given that the child has never had Dad's name, you shouldn't actually have too much trouble changing the last name - although doing so outside of a stepparent adoption is often referred to as a "backdoor adoption")

    I have considered hyphenating my last name to include both my married and maiden, though I would wait to do that only if, for some unexpected reason, an adoption ended up not being possible. I honestly should have thought about that before I changed my name to my married name originally. However, I do not want to go back to my maiden name as I do want my last name to match both my husband and future children's names.

    It was Google that brought me here! :)

    And I do feel a tad bit shady changing the name before the adoption. I don't wish to be deceitful, though. Just make the name situation easier and to make it easier for my child to learn a last name once.
  • 10-03-2013, 02:37 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Mom, LD makes some great points - and I truly wish more couples would consider the long term ramifications of a stepparent adoption.
  • 10-03-2013, 02:37 PM
    hwky
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Some things to think about...what if the adoption (for one reason or another) doesn't take place for years and you and your husband end up getting divorced? Would you be happy or glad that you had changed your child's last name?

    What if the name change and adoption happens, but 5 or 10 years down the road you and your husband divorce? Would you be ok with your husband getting primary custody of his legal child and you paying him child support, or would your husband be happy to pay child support to you?

    These are all things that you need to think about carefully, and probably think about until you are way past the first flush of being happily married.

    These are definitely things that have been carefully considered both on my own and with my husband. Before I was comfortable marrying him, I wanted to be comfortable with the thought that if we did divorce (of course, not the plan, but I do realize unexpected things can happen), he would most likely continue to be part of my child's life. As far as the name change, I cannot forsee myself ever regretting that on any level. As my husband and I plan to have other children in the near future, they would all have my husband's last name (and my current last name) as well. For that reason, I would most likely not change my name to my maiden name after a divorce, and so all of my children and I would have the same last name.

    Also, I am very willing to consider that it would be possible that if my husband did adpot my child, that God forbid, something happened and we separated, he could maintain cusody of my child. I suppose I feel like if I am happy having a biological child with this man (my husband), I am more than willing and content with the idea that he will have a legal claim to my child as well.
  • 10-03-2013, 04:16 PM
    CourtClerk
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Out of pure curiosity, did you ever plan on being a single parent? My point is that NO ONE who gets married plans on getting a divorce. Very few people who have babies with their significant others think....

    well, I'm just gonna have this baby who will never know its father
  • 10-06-2013, 06:33 AM
    flyingron
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Getting away from the various nonsequitor thoughts.

    You need to tell us WHAT STATE you are residing in now. That's where you must apply for the name change. Every state I'm aware of requires the current (i.e., biological) parent to be AT LEAST notified of the name change hearing. The fact that he has no contact is immaterial. Some states will issue a minor name change as a matter of course when there is no contest, others will require a specific requirement of showing compelling interest of the CHILD which you haven't indicated at all.

    Frankly, if hubby is going to adopt, I'd let it slide until the adoption occurs.
  • 10-06-2013, 12:35 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Quote:

    Quoting flyingron
    View Post
    Getting away from the various nonsequitor thoughts.

    You need to tell us WHAT STATE you are residing in now. That's where you must apply for the name change. Every state I'm aware of requires the current (i.e., biological) parent to be AT LEAST notified of the name change hearing. The fact that he has no contact is immaterial. Some states will issue a minor name change as a matter of course when there is no contest, others will require a specific requirement of showing compelling interest of the CHILD which you haven't indicated at all.

    Frankly, if hubby is going to adopt, I'd let it slide until the adoption occurs.



    Not every state requires notification of the other party.
  • 10-07-2013, 06:59 AM
    hwky
    Re: Changing My Child's Name from My Maiden Name to My Married Name
    Our current state is Missouri. I haven't been able to find if the residency requirement here is 6 months (which we meet) or 12 months (which we do not). Before MO, we lived in Kansas for 18 months.

    Since MI still has jurisdiction over my child's father, I've been told the adoption must take place in MI. Therefore, I would assume a name change would be similar.
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