Right of First Refusal and Late Night Pickup of Children

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Utah
My ex husband wants to be able to go to football games that keep him out from 6pm to between 12-2am. I have a first right of refusal agreement and am taking the kids (who are 7, 9 and 11 years old and go to bed no later than 10pm on weekends) during these events and have offered to bring them home at any reasonable time in the morning that he chooses. He insists upon waking up the entire household to pick up the kids when the game is over regardless of the time. Is this just something I have to accept or does he actually have the right to demand the kids in the middle of the night after a game?

That's completely unreasonable.

Maybe going back to court and clarifying exactly when ROFR can be applicable might be in order.

Concur with Doggie.

Anyone waking me up at that hour for any reason other than "The house is burning down!" or "Kiddo is in the hospital." would have my foot broken off up in a very delicate place.

That is the problem with enforcing such orders. The parent requesting it wants to have their cake and eat it also.

Agreed, Missy.

Once it's past 10pm here? "Burning or bleeding" is our rule. That goes for knocking at the door, telephone calls, the whole works.

And in terms of ROFR, I cannot imagine any court agreeing with Dad on this one. It's completely unreasonable.

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That is the problem with enforcing such orders. The parent requesting it wants to have their cake and eat it also.

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Sorry, darlin', I completely disagree. There's no point in getting everyone out of bed at Holy Crap in the Ungodly to fetch the children after Daddles has gone to a football game except to be a douchecanoe. There's no reason he can't wait to go fetch them at 8AM, after they've had a decent night's sleep and he's gotten his hangover under control.

What if it was a part time job? That is the problem with these custody games. They can back fire.

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Quoting Disagreeable

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What if it was a part time job? That is the problem with these custody games. They can back fire.

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It's not a part-time job. It's Dad choosing to watch the football game, and then wanting to pick up the kids immediately after.

And if it was a part-time job which didn't finish until the early hours? Mom has a pretty good chance of just keeping the kids during Dad's work schedule. What he's asking is not reasonable.

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What if it was a part time job?

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Wouldn't matter, from what I've seen. You don't get your kids out of bed to shuttle them across town - or even across the street! - at 1AM. You think about THEIR needs and you let 'em sleep.

Even so, it's not a part-time job. It's Dad CHOOSING to engage in a leisure activity that interferes with his parenting time. He's being an ass.

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Quoting Disagreeable

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What if it was a part time job? That is the problem with these custody games. They can back fire.

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I personally hate ROFR's, I believe it's just a way for someone to micro-manage the other parents time. I would not have one unless the time frame was for over 24 hours.

Around my area they don't order them, unless both parties agree to it. Then if it causes problems like it is in OP's case, they would take it out of the order or extend the time. They will not allow a parent to be hauling kids around late at night because of work and a ROFR.

That would force the other parent to find their own care, perhaps they don't want to pay a babysitter or have any sitters that are free. They might change their mind and say forget it, I will just leave them with you for the night.

This can be pinned on OP to, OP could turn down ROFR for these occasions. Could back fire on OP if they took this to court, they could be expected to turn it down under the circumstances or they could have ROFR either taken completely out of the order, or the time frame extended.