Do You Have to Follow Custody Orders if the Child is Sick

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Tennessee. We have full custody of my 4 year grandson, the mother was awarded visitation. This past Friday I had to pick him up from school early due to an illness and took him to the doctor. He was contagious and I did not let him go on his 24 hour visitation that day. His mother said we still should have sent him. Are we within our rights to keep him home when there is a documented illness ? She has 2 other younger children at her home and I didn't want to expose them and he really didn't feel like going. Thanks for any advice...

He's 4. He doesn't get to "really didn't feel like going".

That said, it's not very likely that you'll get into trouble for keeping the child home if he was sick. The fact that you did indeed take him to the doctor is good.

Personally, I think you did the right thing - and it was very thoughtful to consider Mom's other children even though Mom might not have been concerned.

What does the visitation order say about the child being sick?

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Quoting Lehk

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What does the visitation order say about the child being sick?

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Most don't even address the issue. They expect the parents/guardians to actually behave as grown ups and use common sense.

What was the doctor's diagnosis?

He had a bacterial infection in his throat. The doctor told me he was highly contagious. He was running a high fever and throwing up at times.

I believe the OP should have sent him. That's her child and she's just as capable of dealing with a sick child if she wanted him there. The child is contagious and exposed the grandparents, so why is mom and her kids so darn special???

Orders are orders, they aren't suggestions.

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Quoting CourtClerk

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I believe the OP should have sent him. That's her child and she's just as capable of dealing with a sick child if she wanted him there. The child is contagious and exposed the grandparents, so why is mom and her kids so darn special???

Orders are orders, they aren't suggestions.

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While I absolutely agree from a legal standpoint, I still have a personal opinion that carting sick children around, just to accommodate visitation isn't in the best interests of the children. What I do believe however that grandma should have done, was offer makeup time after the child recovered. While that doesn't guarantee that grandma won't be held in contempt for denying visitation, it would show a good faith effort on grandma's part.

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Quoting CourtClerk

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I believe the OP should have sent him. That's her child and she's just as capable of dealing with a sick child if she wanted him there. The child is contagious and exposed the grandparents, so why is mom and her kids so darn special???

Orders are orders, they aren't suggestions.

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Eh, don't mind me. My snark button is not functioning correctly at the moment. Someone seems to have switched it to "The Not Mean Girls Club" ;)

A sick child being cared for by their parent can be a special bonding opportunity that mom may or may not have wanted to have. A child remembers who's there for them when they are sick.

I think the best case scenario would have been for grandma to have explained the situation to mom, offering the options of mom taking the child or choosing an alternative day. It should have been mom's choice, since.it was mom's time.

However, if grandma offered mom some make-up time, I would doubt that she would be held in contempt as long as there doesn't seem to become a pattern. I do hope that grandma in fact made that offer for make-up time. Since she didn't mention it, it makes one wonder.