Non-Custodial Parent Threatening to Call CPS

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Oregon

I have sole legal custody of my 6 year old daughter, and her father is allowed to visit her every other week for one day. A few weeks ago he asked for some extra time with her, so we arranged for him to have a few overnights. During this time, he took her to a friend's house who has a 4 year old daughter. I do not know the people in question. While at the house, supposedly both girls were in the back room individually playing with their genitals (not touching each other). After the fact, the other girl claimed it was all initiated by my daughter, and that my daughter kissed her. I was was called by the non-custodial parent to get to the bottom of what was happening.

Previously, my daughter and another girl of the same age would play with each other in sexual ways. At that time I spoke with the school counselor who assured me it was normal and not to worry. After this instance, though, I consulted another counselor and was informed that if the girls were closer in age it would be perfectly developmentally appropriate. However, since there is a small separation it's a more iffy situation, and was advised to simply keep an eye on my daughter to see if she continues to exhibit such actions around younger children, or if it is a one time occurrence.

I just got off the phone with my daughter's father, and now the other parents are threatening to call CPS on my daughter if I don't go down and talk to them about what happened (they live about two hours away from me), and her father (the non-custodial parent) is threatening to call CPS on me to try and get custody because he feels I am not keeping him in the loop enough about the whole situation (he wants me to call the counselor again and have her call him). I'm just not sure what to do about the whole situation. Do they or he have any sort of case? What would happen if they do call CPS (I've never dealt with Child Welfare before)? I know she's better off with me: her friends and school are all up here, she has her own bedroom, and I can financially support her - he hasn't held steady employment in years, and he and his girlfriend live in a one-bedroom RV, their son sleeps in a bed in the living room and our daughter sleeps on a thin foam mat in the living room as well (I didn't know that until after she visited, had I known I would not have let her stay overnight until she had better sleeping arrangements). Any thoughts or suggestions?

Thank you

(Her sleep arrangements are legally fine, btw)

Why not simply have the counselor communicate with Dad?

It might assuage his fear.

Thank you - I told him I would call first thing in the morning to make arrangements for that and get back to him to let him know what to expect. However, his threats about CPS/attempted custody came after I told him I would do so. His basis is that since I spoke with a counselor previously and did not tell him I was refusing to let him know necessary information about our daughter. I think I might just be overly stressed about the whole situation, but this is all new territory for me.

Quote:

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Quoting PinkPaprika

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Thank you - I told him I would call first thing in the morning to make arrangements for that and get back to him to let him know what to expect. However, his threats about CPS/attempted custody came after I told him I would do so. His basis is that since I spoke with a counselor previously and did not tell him I was refusing to let him know necessary information about our daughter. I think I might just be overly stressed about the whole situation, but this is all new territory for me.

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You are definitely over stressing about dad's threats. You have sole legal custody. You are not legally required to get his input regarding medical or mental health care.

However, I think that you need to get your daughter into counseling ASAP. Even if you are uncertain whether or not she really needs it, it would show both CPS and your ex that you are being proactive on the matter.