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Mom Want's to Burn My Dad's Clothes

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  • 08-31-2013, 08:08 PM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Mom Want's to Burn My Dad's Clothes
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
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    She can send him a letter, certified, and inform him that if his belongings are not picked up within X amount of time (she may need to follow State law on that one) they will be considered abandoned.

    You cannot unilaterally declare somebody else's property to be abandoned, particularly after you take it without permission from the place where the owner left it and hold it at a different location.

    She should file for divorce, and work out the division of property and exchange of items within the context of the divorce case.
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
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    Then the best thing she can do - in my opinion - is keep her dignity and her head held high and drop off his stuff at his new place.

    That would be a sensible resolution.
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
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    That costs too much money he moved 300 miles away.

    Then she shouldn't have taken his belongings in the first place.
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
    I'm not saying she should do it, but I just don't want her in any trouble if she does.

    If she chooses to burn the clothes, she can get into a lot of trouble.
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
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    As I've stated before: We did not leave his stuff behind because he disappeared. We didn't know what happened to him.

    If you took his property to safeguard it from loss or damage, then that's what you need to keep on doing.
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
    Anyways, we have decided to put his stuff in a storage unit and mail him the lease and key by certified letter. His items are his responsibility after that.

    That's not actually how things work when you sign a lease....

    How much stuff are we talking about?
    Quote:

    Quoting jk
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    an alternate action available, since your mother has filed for divorce, is to ask the court to order he remove any and all property of his that may be at your residence.

    Does he have anything that belongs to your mother?

    You can ask the court to order that the parties exchange all clothing and personal effects on or by a specific date and that, unless a motion to compel compliance with the order is pending at that time, the parties be deemed to have surrendered any claim to any clothing or personal effects not retrieved as of that date.
  • 08-31-2013, 08:12 PM
    jk
    Re: Mom Want's to Burn My Dad's Clothes
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
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    Anyways, we have decided to put his stuff in a storage unit and mail him the lease and key by certified letter. His items are his responsibility after that.

    Oh heck. I missed this one.



    bad move. Not only is this not a bright idea, since he has not signed the lease, he can be kept out of the unit even if he should try to retrieve he property. You need either store the stuff at your house OR come to an resolution such as the storage unit with your father agreeing. If you do anything other than hold onto the stuff, make sure you have any agreement supported by written communications.
  • 08-31-2013, 08:47 PM
    kenn
    Re: Mom Want's to Burn My Dad's Clothes
    Quote:

    Quoting jk
    View Post
    bad move. Not only is this not a bright idea, since he has not signed the lease, he can be kept out of the unit even if he should try to retrieve he property. You need either store the stuff at your house OR come to an resolution such as the storage unit with your father agreeing. If you do anything other than hold onto the stuff, make sure you have any agreement supported by written communications.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
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    That's not actually how things work when you sign a lease....

    Ok, good point, thanks. Since reading up on some other info, we have decided against that since he could just say the stuff wasn't there (in the storage unit) when he went to retrieve it, or about a million other things could go wrong. We are going to let a judge handle this issue.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    ...take it without permission from the place where the owner left it and hold it at a different location.

    We did not take his belongings without permission. He knew about the move in advance and when he disappeared we did not know what happened to him! We filed a missing person's report with the police, put out missing posters, spoke with every person he was known to be in contact with. We thought he might have been seriously injured or dead!

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
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    Then she shouldn't have taken his belongings in the first place.

    See above answer.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    If she chooses to burn the clothes, she can get into a lot of trouble.

    I am aware of this, I just wanted to know how long we had to hold the property until we could dispose of it.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    How much stuff are we talking about?

    Does he have anything that belongs to your mother?

    About ten 55 gallon trash bags full of clothes and other personal belongings

    No he took of with his paycheck, his car, and the clothes on his back.

    Quote:

    Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    You can ask the court to order that the parties exchange all clothing and personal effects on or by a specific date and that, unless a motion to compel compliance with the order is pending at that time, the parties be deemed to have surrendered any claim to any clothing or personal effects not retrieved as of that date.

    This is what we are going to do. Thanks for the advice!
  • 09-01-2013, 08:40 AM
    aardvarc
    Re: Mom Want's to Burn My Dad's Clothes
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
    View Post
    I'm not saying she should do it, but I just don't want her in any trouble if she does.

    If she destroys property that isn't hers but that she has possession of and thus responsibility over, she should EXPECT trouble, in one form or another (either a criminal charge or a civil lawsuit against her, or both). No matter how pissed off she is for his antics, she doesn't have the right to take revenge by destroying his stuff. I really IS that simple.

    If she wants to be free from the burden of responsibility, she can either return his stuff, send it to him, or the least expensive method:

    Quote:

    send him a letter, certified, and inform him that if his belongings are not picked up within X amount of time (she may need to follow State law on that one) they will be considered abandoned
  • 09-01-2013, 08:47 AM
    Mr. Knowitall
    Re: Mom Want's to Burn My Dad's Clothes
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
    We did not take his belongings without permission. He knew about the move in advance....

    So... implied consent? I was speaking of express consent - "Can we move your stuff?" "Yes, please do."
    Quote:

    Quoting kenn
    View Post
    I am aware of this, I just wanted to know how long we had to hold the property until we could dispose of it.

    The statute of limitations appears to be three years.

    Although you're going to resolve this through the divorce action, which is a good decision, I want to reiterate that sending somebody a certified letter saying, "Move your stuff in 30 days or I'll dispose of it," is a tactic that may get somebody to act, but cannot be relied upon by the sender as a guarantee that they won't be held liable if they in fact dispose of the property they're holding.
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