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Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time

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  • 08-27-2013, 09:56 AM
    mscoby
    Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: IL
    Court order states ex visitation is every other weekend. ex enrolled in a class every Sat. 9am-5pm. Leaving Children with his current wife. Kids ages 6 & 9 don't want to go. Will the courts do anything about this or is it his time and he can do with it what he wants? I now have full custody. Although, prior we shared joint custody and it stated: "Both parents shall attempt, to the extent feasible, to allow the other parent to take the children rather than use baby-sitters ore hired help."
  • 08-27-2013, 10:07 AM
    Antigone
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Quote:

    Quoting mscoby
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: IL
    Court order states ex visitation is every other weekend. ex enrolled in a class every Sat. 9am-5pm. Leaving Children with his current wife. Kids ages 6 & 9 don't want to go. Will the courts do anything about this or is it his time and he can do with it what he wants? I now have full custody. Although, prior we shared joint custody and it stated: "Both parents shall attempt, to the extent feasible, to allow the other parent to take the children rather than use baby-sitters ore hired help."

    How long is school for? It is only during the day, He still has the rest of the weekend with his kids. I don't see this as a hill for you to die on. Tell your kids it is not their decision. They can decide where and when to go when they reach the age of majority.
  • 08-27-2013, 10:26 AM
    mscoby
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    He has chosen this Sat. class schedule now for 2 semesters in a row and the kids hate it. My suggestion would be to let them stay with me durning his class time. His wife has no rights to them. Do you think that would be a good argument?
  • 08-27-2013, 10:27 AM
    Antigone
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Quote:

    Quoting mscoby
    View Post
    He has chosen this Sat. class schedule now for 2 semesters in a row and the kids hate it. My suggestion would be to let them stay with me durning his class time. His wife has no rights to them. Do you think that would be a good argument?

    His wife has not rights, but they are in his home during his parenting time. Unless you have an ROFR then you cannot keep them from dad. I do not see this as a good argument. I see this as you trying to create more distance between your ex and his children.
  • 08-27-2013, 10:42 AM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Quote:

    Quoting mscoby
    View Post
    He has chosen this Sat. class schedule now for 2 semesters in a row and the kids hate it. My suggestion would be to let them stay with me durning his class time. His wife has no rights to them. Do you think that would be a good argument?


    Would you feel the same way if Dad left the kids to visit with your parents during some of his parenting time?

    It's EXACTLY the same thing.

    I do not think the court will agree with you, Mom.
  • 08-27-2013, 11:24 AM
    mscoby
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    I'm not asking for his entire weekend, just the time he is in class, so in response to the statement "Trying to keep them from seeing dad" Dad made that choice himself when he signed up for the class. He only sees them every other weekend. Mom has plenty to keep her busy while kids are gone. This is about the kids. To give a little more detail of the reason my kids hate it, is because the wife has other kids. She takes them to all their activities and my kids have to go along and are forced to miss their soccer games, boyscouts and girlscouts etc.
  • 08-27-2013, 11:34 AM
    FatherWhoWon
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Maybe dad wants the child to have the time to develop relationships with stepmom and stepsiblings. Since its his time, he's allowed to do that. And especially since he has such limited time, a judge is likely not going to disagree with him.

    If he didn't care, obviously he'd send the children back your way. But, alas, he does. And he's entitled to his opinion, his time, and his decisions during that time.

    Oh, and one of the signs of being a good parent is understanding that what's best for your kids and what they want/like are, more often than not, completely opposite. So try telling a judge "its about the kids" and in the same sentence tell him how they "hate spending time with their stepfamily." See how far that gets you. It's likely going to look like a few whiny brats with their mom as cheerleader.
  • 08-27-2013, 11:36 AM
    Antigone
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Quote:

    Quoting mscoby
    View Post
    I'm not asking for his entire weekend, just the time he is in class, so in response to the statement "Trying to keep them from seeing dad" Dad made that choice himself when he signed up for the class. He only sees them every other weekend. Mom has plenty to keep her busy while kids are gone. This is about the kids. To give a little more detail of the reason my kids hate it, is because the wife has other kids. She takes them to all their activities and my kids have to go along and are forced to miss their soccer games, boyscouts and girlscouts etc.

    That is the card that has been dealt. This is life for kids with blended families. I still don't see a this as a reason to modify visitation.
  • 08-27-2013, 11:47 AM
    FatherWhoWon
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Hmmm, another idea:

    IF dad agrees, and it really is "about the kids," why not see if dad wants to trade some time? So maybe you take the children for the time he has class on Saturday, and dad picks up a few hours on Tues/Thurs evenings perhaps?
  • 08-27-2013, 11:50 AM
    Antigone
    Re: Ex is Going to School During His Visitation Time
    Quote:

    Quoting FatherWhoWon
    View Post
    Hmmm, another idea:

    IF dad agrees, and it really is "about the kids," why not see if dad wants to trade some time? So maybe you take the children for the time he has class on Saturday, and dad picks up a few hours on Tues/Thurs evenings perhaps?

    Mom could attempt to negotiate but dad does not have to deviate from the court order. We all know what Pandora's box (lol...Ms. P) can be opened up when that happens.
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