Can a Third Party Relative Get Joint Custody With a Parent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kansas.

The back story, if it helps answer the question - my sister had a child. A year after her child was born, she left the child with me and I gave her child to the father. Since that day 4 years ago, the child has lived with the father and my sister had been in and out of jail, earned felonies, been addicted to meth, and seen the child only a few times for a short visit with supervision that someone else set up for her. Currently, the father is disabled at a young age due to serious health issues, unable to work, and not yet receiving disability and my sister has a warrant, is on corrections, and is using meth. He needs help with his child, whom I love and adore as one of my own. I keep the child as often as I can but having 2 children myself, a full-time job, and a husband working out of town, it's hard to fit this time in. If I could sign the child up for daycare, I could keep her anytime he needed, but that's not possible on a day- to- day basis. The father wants the child, there's no problem there, but the child needs a mother and the father needs help. I would like to have joint custody of the child between the father and myself.

My question is, can my sister sign her rights to the child over to me if the father, her, and myself agree to it so that the father and I can work out a schedule with the child and I would have the right to take the child to the doctor, sign the child up for daycare and school, and am guaranteed to not lose the child if anything were to happen with or to the father considering his bad health? If this is possible, what would I need to do to get things in motion?

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Quoting loves

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kansas.

The back story, if it helps answer the question - my sister had a child. A year after her child was born, she left the child with me and I gave her child to the father. Since that day 4 years ago, the child has lived with the father and my sister had been in and out of jail, earned felonies, been addicted to meth, and seen the child only a few times for a short visit with supervision that someone else set up for her. Currently, the father is disabled at a young age due to serious health issues, unable to work, and not yet receiving disability and my sister has a warrant, is on corrections, and is using meth. He needs help with his child, whom I love and adore as one of my own. I keep the child as often as I can but having 2 children myself, a full-time job, and a husband working out of town, it's hard to fit this time in. If I could sign the child up for daycare, I could keep her anytime he needed, but that's not possible on a day- to- day basis. The father wants the child, there's no problem there, but the child needs a mother and the father needs help. I would like to have joint custody of the child between the father and myself.

My question is, can my sister sign her rights to the child over to me if the father, her, and myself agree to it so that the father and I can work out a schedule with the child and I would have the right to take the child to the doctor, sign the child up for daycare and school, and am guaranteed to not lose the child if anything were to happen with or to the father considering his bad health? If this is possible, what would I need to do to get things in motion?

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Its not impossible if both parents agree. However it also may not be necessary to accomplish your stated goals either. If I were dad I would never agree.

Thank you for your response. Out of curiosity, why wouldn't you agree to this if you were the
father?

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Quoting loves

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Thank you for your response. Out of curiosity, why wouldn't you agree to this if you were the
father?

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Because I would never agree to give a third party official rights over my children that I could not revoke without convincing a judge to revoke them. I would never agree to a third party having joint decision making rights regarding my children either.

I find it very disturbing that you made the statement "the child needs a mother" and feel that you should be that "mother".

A POA (Power of attorney to act on dad's behalf) would be more than sufficient to get the child medical care or into daycare. Dad shouldn't need you to get the child into school since the child should be attending school in the district where dad can enroll the child himself. If something happens to dad, you can go to court and ask to be named the child's guardian.

You don't need joint custody to help dad with the child...nor should you have it.

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Quoting llworking

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Because I would never agree to give a third party official rights over my children that I could not revoke without convincing a judge to revoke them. I would never agree to a third party having joint decision making rights regarding my children either.

I find it very disturbing that you made the statement "the child needs a mother" and feel that you should be that "mother".

A POA (Power of attorney to act on dad's behalf) would be more than sufficient to get the child medical care or into daycare. Dad shouldn't need you to get the child into school since the child should be attending school in the district where dad can enroll the child himself. If something happens to dad, you can go to court and ask to be named the child's guardian.

You don't need joint custody to help dad with the child...nor should you have it.

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Agree completely 100%.

Perhaps joint custody isn't what I need to help, I just don't know. I understand that to find out, I could contact an attorney and see what the options are, however, I assumed this forum could help me answer questions to see if that IS what would be necessary. I agree, if it were my children, there is no way I would sign rights over to anyone else. However, I am fully able to care for my children physically, emotionally, and financially. There is a lot more to the story, but I don't feel like it's relevant information for the questions I'm asking on this forum. Honestly, the further I go into the story, the more it seems like both parents are unfit, and that's not what I'm wanting examined here. This extra stuff that I have chosen to leave out of the story explains my feelings on the child's need for a mother. I want my sister to be her mother, and I have, over the last year, finally been able to get the child's father to let that option be open (only when my sister was clean and functioning) but that didn't last long. With the issues this 4-year-old has seen in life already, I believe a stable mother is vital. I'm not sure why it's "disturbing" that I feel I should be that mother, especially considering the lack of stable parenting options the child has.

Anyhow, none of this even matters at this point. I suppose I need to ask a new question to encourage more helpful responses.

Addition to back story: Neither parent has a stable home, one is homeless and the other is living with a friend and shares a bed with his newest girlfriend and the child, and neither parent is employed. The child was diagnosed with ADHD, which, while it is a common and perhaps over-diagnosed disorder, is very prominent in her demeanor and is not being treated by a doctor. The father is trying to get on his feet, but is struggling financially (isn't able to work, has not been approved for disability, receiving no child support), physically (double heart diseases with a pacemaker and a spinal injury/disease that causes constant pain), and emotionally (diagnosed severe depression and PTSD).

As the aunt of a child with an absent mother (my sister) and a disabled/unemployed father, do I have or can I get rights to sign the child up for daycare, make doctors appointments, enroll the child in preschool, etc. if both the child's father and mother agree to allow the child to live primarily in my home until one or both parents are able to establish themselves?

If the parents agree, sure.

If they don't, no.

Hope that was more "helpful" to you.

I don't think she meant helpful in a snarky way, doggie. :)

Considering the father's health, I might advise the OP to talk to an attorney if both the mother and father agree to her having some sort of guardianship. He has a heart condition and is already in a precarious living condition anyway. It might be good to have at least one stable person who can take over if things go south.

Just get a couple free consultations with some family law attorneys. They will be able to advise you better than we can. Good luck!

Having a pacemaker doesn't mean you're knocking on death's door (and trust me, I have incredibly intimate knowledge of living with a young heart patient).

He'd have to be literally incapacitated before the court would step in against his will - and even then, both sets of grandparents (if alive) would come before Aunt.

No, I didn't mean it rudely, I apologize if it came off that way. I think he is just fine, he thinks he's going to die tomorrow every day. I didn't mean that I want guardianship against his will, his willingness isn't an issue. I'm not even saying I want to be set up to care for the child upon his passing. I just want to be able to help him out now because he needs it. Neither set of grandparents is in a position to help him or care for the child. I think I will take your advice magique and seek free consultations. Thank you all for your help :-)! I'm happy to know that it isn't an impossible situation.