Teenage Daughter is Refusing to Come Home

Yeah I am not going to believe anything she tells me anymore and tomorrow I am going to go to the house to pick her up and have the police meet me thier .

Bear in mind the police likely won't do anything - they'll likely tell you it's a civil matter and to take it to court.

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Oh - and have Mom have her (non existent) attorney to put something in writing that gives a 13 year old permission to do what she's suggesting. A law, statute, some case law. An attorney should be able to do that, right?

;)

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Quoting Rob23

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No the mother says that she has a lawyer and he has told her the our daughter can chose if she want to stay with her mother and not come back to my house.

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Mom is full of it. Either her "lawyer" is an idiot, or, she's blowing smoke up your behind. MAYBE, if mom goes back to court, a judge will give the daughter some say as to where she stays, but that's a long "if."

That a good idea. Thanks. I know the police won't do much but at less I have a paper trial.

Actually I have a more practical, less antagonistic suggestion.

Ask Mom for the name and telephone number of her attorney. Since she apparently has one, it's only PROPER that you correspond via her attorney.

May I ask a question of you though? Other than this, how's your co-parenting relationship in general?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Bear in mind the police likely won't do anything - they'll likely tell you it's a civil matter and to take it to court.

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That depends ... if mom is in clear violation of the court order and cannot articulate good cause to withhold visitation (and then she must comply with specific elements of the law which involve contacting the DA's office within 10 days and filing for an emergency custody order), the police can arrest mom for a violation of PC 166(a) and then turn the child over to dad anyway.

If the police are not inclined to act, they MIGHT forward a report to the DA for prosecution ... but, if they are not inclined to act, they will likely tell the dad to go back to court and seek an order for contempt from the Family Court.

Most departments will probably - at least - try to strong arm mom into compliance even if they are disinclined to make an actual arrest. But, if mom fails to answer the door the police will NOT force entry to seek the return of the child or to make the arrest under these circumstances.

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Quoting cdwjava

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That depends ... if mom is in clear violation of the court order and cannot articulate good cause to withhold visitation (and then she must comply with specific elements of the law which involve contacting the DA's office within 10 days and filing for an emergency custody order), the police can arrest mom for a violation of PC 166(a) and then turn the child over to dad anyway.

If the police are not inclined to act, they MIGHT forward a report to the DA for prosecution ... but, if they are not inclined to act, they will likely tell the dad to go back to court and seek an order for contempt from the Family Court.

Most departments will probably - at least - try to strong arm mom into compliance even if they are disinclined to make an actual arrest. But, if mom fails to answer the door the police will NOT force entry to seek the return of the child or to make the arrest under these circumstances.

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That's VERY good to know - California does appear to be different in many ways. Thank you :)

She will agree with what I say and then turn around and do something completely different then what we talk about. So now are daughter think if she does wrong at my house she can run to her mother and every thing is OK.

Okay - may I suggest you look into going to court and having the court order that communication be via something like Our Family Wizard?

It's not free (currently $99/person/year from memory) but it is absolutely priceless because the court can track your communication.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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That's VERY good to know - California does appear to be different in many ways. Thank you :)

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And, if there is a dispute as to who should have custody, the law in CA gives the police the authority to call CPS and turn the child over to them and let THEM sort it out. :)

If dad has a valid custody order in hand when he speaks to the police, then he may be able to win the day on this. But, he should also consider a return to court and inform the judge of her contempt - for the record.

If dad has no valid custody order in hand (or, all he has is a mediation report or some similar document that is unsigned by a judge) then things get wonky.