My question involves a relationship in the state of: Nevada. After a year long relationship and living together (neither of us are on lease, two of my family members are) and me paying the bills, which was agreed upon until he gained employment, which he did, he wants to take it all. I kicked him out, only because of continual verbal abuse and him only contributing $200 a month toward bills, if I was lucky. A couch, dining room set, vacuum, steam cleaner, surround sound stereo (all off craigslist or friends) where purchased during the year. He feels that they are his because he did the investigating and pulled the money out of his wallet.
What about the power and cable and sewer and water and RENT I paid for? A big screen was also bought right before the move in for the sole purpose of establishing a home together. After a final violent episode I sent him on his way with what he could take. Mind you my youngest is in the house (11). He left me bruised and bleeding but I did not call cops because I know I have a warrant for unpaid fines. I can not go to jail and lose my job, nor can I afford to pay my fines because I was covering my so called boyfriends end of responsibilities. He did get a food stamp card for almost $200 and still has even though working full time. He figured that covered his portion. I hung on to hope and got used.
I accept my responsibilities for my lack of judgement, but can he come back (I changed the locks..again) and claim it is all his? I am afraid he will call police because he knows I have warrant, so I don't want to keep anything I shouldn't, but we got the stuff together.
What Am I Legally Able to Keep After Breaking Up
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08-10-2013, 03:41 PMholding on to watWhat Am I Legally Able to Keep After Breaking Up
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08-10-2013, 03:54 PMDisagreeableRe: What Am I Legally Able to Keep
The key, as you noted, was the money came out of his wallet. That is all it takes. Actually, based on your assertion, you illegally kicked him out unless you provided state required notice. He would be legal, under some circumstances, to break a door or window, re-enter and retrieve his property. If you have a claim regarding a contract to pay rent, that is a civil matter. You need to sue him.
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08-10-2013, 04:01 PMllworkingRe: What Am I Legally Able to KeepYou do have a few issues...Quote:
Quoting holding on to wat
In kicking him out you did do a somewhat illegal eviction, but if he left voluntarily (didn't fight that at the time) then maybe that won't matter. The "stuff" would be a civil issue not a criminal one.
How long ago did all of that happen? -
08-10-2013, 04:07 PMholding on to watRe: What Am I Legally Able to Keep
Thursday night. He did not fight leaving. And a month ago we did this and I told him if he wanted to try and work things out he could stay through the month. Would that count as a 30 day notice?
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08-10-2013, 04:21 PMllworkingRe: What Am I Legally Able to KeepI think that I would wait and see if he attempts anything. If he left you bruised and bleeding I kind of doubt that he would be stupid enough to try to come back with the cops.Quote:
Quoting holding on to wat
However you need to deal with your warrant. Its incredibly stupid that you have to tolerate being left bruised and bleeding because you are scared of being arrested on a warrant for fines. -
08-10-2013, 04:47 PMaardvarcRe: What Am I Legally Able to KeepYou lived there and enjoyed having power, cable, sewer, water, and a roof over your head and your child's head. What about it?Quote:
Quoting holding on to wat
So sue in civil court, present your receipt to the court or some proof of a contract between you about ownership of the TV and let the court decide who gets it.Quote:
a big screen was also bought right before the move in for the sole purpose of establishing a home together.
So there has been a HISTORY of multiple violence episodes in the home, with your child present? Google the term "failure to protect", and get VERY familiar with it - and do it BEFORE you live with another boyfriend.Quote:
After a final violent episode I sent him on his way with what he could take. Mind you my youngest is in the house (11).
Better take care of that warrant. Otherwise you may face a long history of being victimized.Quote:
He left me bruised and bleeding but I did not call cops because I know I have a warrant for unpaid fines.
"What you see is what you get" is a hard lesson to learn. If you want to have BF's that aren't loosers, then don't date loosers. People really don't change.Quote:
I can not go to jail and lose my job, nor can I afford to pay my fines because I was covering my so called boyfriends end of responsibilities. He did get a food stamp card for almost $200 and still has even though working full time. He figured that covered his portion. I hung on to hope and got used.
He can sure try. Unless he was evicted, he may still have rights to be there. Depends on if he can establish residency to the satifaction of police (ie that address is on his driver license, he's getting mail there, has stuff there, etc.). If he CAN establish that it's his legal residence, you may be surprised to find police standing by as he goes in through a window or kicks in a door. There are legal procedures to be followed to make someone leave their home, and not following those procedures can bite you in the fanny.Quote:
I accept my responsibilities for my lack of judgement, but can he come back (I changed the locks..again) and claim it is all his?
When you want a court to divide up assets accumulated during a relationship, that's called a divorce, and it's available to people who enter the legal contract known as marriage. If you accumulated assets with someone without marrying them, then divorce isn't available to you, and you just learned a really hard lesson. If you have specific assets that you can prove you paid for, then take him to court and sue him for them. Yes, you can expect the first words out of his mouth will be to announce your warrant to the court, and the court and it's bailiffs to act accordingly. Better take care of that issue BEFORE you bother suing him or involving the courts or law enforcement.Quote:
I am afraid he will call police because he knows I have warrant, so I don't want to keep anything I shouldn't, but we got the stuff together.
And don't buy stuff with people you're not married to. If you're not married, there is no "we". Either YOU buy it and it's YOURS, or they buy it and it's THEIRS. And keep your receipts for everything. Anything without a contract or receipt usually gets filed under possession being 9/10ths of the law. -
08-10-2013, 05:16 PMholding on to watRe: What Am I Legally Able to Keep
Yes, as I said I accept my part of stupidity. I have been through domestic violence and the father of my children responsible for it, unfortunately it is not an easy thing to escape. But what gives this ex the right to anything due to his stupidity. The last thing I wanted was a fight.
He has a $1000 drug debt that I happened to find out about. I tried to help him and now because of a few mistakes I have made, he should have a right to things that were meant for our home? Well, i don't think so. He has no receipts cause they do not exist, and if they did they are here where he is not. I don't want to sue him, I will eat my loss happily to be rid of him.
Something is wrong with our system that protect abusers rights. He laid hands on me, I failed to pay a fine of $225, that is all I had left. And I have to be afraid of police at my door? I apologize for ranting, this is obviously too fresh and painful for me to be on here. -
08-10-2013, 06:53 PMDisagreeableRe: What Am I Legally Able to Keep After Breaking Up
Had you not been a scofflaw yourself, you could safely avail yourself to its protections. Hope everything works out soon.
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08-11-2013, 07:36 AMaardvarcRe: What Am I Legally Able to KeepIt absolutely isn't. There are a LOT of factors to take into account, and there is always the wild card of the abuser's behavior, which cannot be predicted. Which is why it is SO important if you're IN an abusive relationship to keep ALL of your options open - especially options that allow you to summon police and use the court system - as those are the two best tools at your disposal.Quote:
Quoting holding on to wat
The law applies, even to stupid people. Simple fact is, that he has rights. They can be taken away, but you need the COURTS for that. You've got to be willing to get before the courtm for things like restraining orders, eviction proceedings, etc.Quote:
But what gives this ex the right to anything due to his stupidity.
See the part about acquiring assets with other people when you're not married to them. It doesn't matter WHAT they were intended for. Whoever is in possession of the item is going to be seen as the "obvious owner", and if you want to challenge that obvious ownership, you're going to need to show the court that you paid for it with your own funds, or, that you had some agreement or contract to be paid back for the item.Quote:
He has a $1000 drug debt that I happened to find out about. I tried to help him and now because of a few mistakes I have made, he should have a right to things that were meant for our home?
Ok. But here's the problem: does HE want to be gotten rid of? If he's willing to part ways and never cross paths again, it's all good. If he's NOT, and he wants to do things like come BACK to the residence, where he's an established resident, you have neither a restraining order nor an eviction order that can stop him. That means police won't be able to act on your behalf, even if you're willing to summon them (unless he commits some new crime).Quote:
I will eat my loss happily to be rid of him.
Everybody has rights until a court takes them away. Go to court and seek a restraining order. You're going to have to risk dealing with the happens with the warrant if you're afraid for your safety.Quote:
Something is wrong with our system that protect abusers rights.
That's when you notify police. So long as YOU do nothing to hold him accountable for his actions, police and the courts can't help you.Quote:
He laid hands on me,
If you have a warrant, yes. Eventually you're going to have to deal with it. Unlike your ex, it's not like police are going to beat you.Quote:
I failed to pay a fine of $225, that is all I had left. And I have to be afraid of police at my door?
Ranting is fine. You're in a pickle here, and there's lots of raw emotion going on. In the middle of everything else, try to remember to take emotional care of yourself too. You're not as much help to yourself and your child if you're not eating right, getting enough sleep, and finding positive outlets for the stress and frustration this situation is generating.Quote:
I apologize for ranting, this is obviously too fresh and painful for me to be on here.
Monday morning, call a few criminal defense attorneys in your area. Many will give at least an initial consultation for free. Ask them about the process for turning yourself in on a local warrant in your area. Do this sooner rather than later - warrants have a nasty way of coming to light when you least expect it, and knowing the time frames involved in your local courts can allow you to arrange child care etc for the time it'll take to turn yourself in and get before the judge to resolve the matter. THEN, you won't have the spectre of your own arrest preventing you from doing the OTHER things you need to do, such as making a criminal complaint with police or seeking a restraining order. -
08-11-2013, 09:02 AMllworkingRe: What Am I Legally Able to KeepI will disagree with one thing that the previous poster said. The goods in question are currently in your possession. As long as they remain in your possession you are not the one who needs to sue for them, he would need to be the one to sue.Quote:
Quoting holding on to wat