Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
Hello,
I live in California with my 2 year old son who was born in the UK, I was married to his father at the time who is on his UK birth certificate and whom my child shares his last name with. In our divorce I obtained full custody and permission to move back to California with our son. My son's father became hostile after the divorce and made threats and verbally abused me and swore at me on skype in front of our son, as well as verbally attacked my unborn daughter (by my new partner). Since his displays of aggression and threats I have stopped skype contact and informed the UK courts as the divorce was in its final stages that I no longer wished to keep up skype contact due to the hostility and threats, I received no objection. I will not go into the reasons for our divorce but it was for mine and my son's safety as my ex was into very illegal activities, though I did not disclose those to the courts as I was fearful of repercussions. I did however report his threats to the local police out there and have documented death threats made by my ex against my new partner.
I now live in California with my son and my new partner and our infant daughter. I will be getting married this autumn and as a family unit of 4, three of us will have the same surname while my son will still have my ex's surname, and I would like this changed. My ex does not provide financial support for our son and has no contact with him. My ex lives in the UK and since we last spoke he changed his phones numbers and moved house with no forwarding address. he has my phone number and address here but has not attempted to contact me. I believe he sent one email to my dad asking for photos of our son, I'm not sure if my dad replied or not. My son's birthday is next week and my son just received a birthday card in the mail from my ex and his mother (it is the first contact my ex has attempted to make since feb this year and the first contact his mother has attempted to make since december 2011).
In the email to my father my ex mentioned he has a solicitor in the UK who tried to mail me a letter requesting visitation for our son, I have received no such letter and don't know if this is just a scare tactic. Would a UK solicitor has any jurisdiction on us living in California? My ex gave up his custody and he is a very bad man with links to very bad people, I do not want him back in our lives, I fled the UK to get away.
My questions are this:
Could some sort of visitation order be enforced by UK solicitor on us living in CA? My ex provides no support and has made no attempt to contact us up until now. He does not even live in this country and I have no intention on returning to the UK. I am struggling to make ends meet and cannot afford a lawyer at this time and I'm not sure what to do.
Once my new partner and I are married, would it be possible to obtain a name change without my ex's consent? I do not even know where in the UK he lives at the moment to notify him, though I know he would object if he knew. My son does not even know his surname yet and I don't want him learning it as I don't want him confused incase we can change it. I don't want him to feel different to the rest of the family. He calls my new partner daddy and does not know his biological father who he has not seen in many months. I showed him a picture of his biological father recently to see if he remembered him and he just called him ' man.'
Once my new partner has supported my son and lived as his dad for a few years could we apply for him to adopt my son without his biological father's consent, assuming he still provides no support and still lives in the UK with no contact?
THank you very much in advance for any help you can provide.
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
Dad will need to be served. The child's grandparents will need to be served as well.
But your biggest hurdle is.... I want to change my child's name because I want him to have the same name as my new boyfriend. That's not going to fly in a california courtroom. And since your father has an idea of where he is, I'm sure he can help you locate him so he can object (and have his rightful day in court), and his side of the family probably knows where he is. you have lots of options.
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
I suspect you are going to discover a US court cannot adopt out a citizen from a foreign country, no matter how hard you try to steal his father from him and appoint a new one.
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
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Quoting
CourtClerk
Dad will need to be served. The child's grandparents will need to be served as well.
But your biggest hurdle is.... I want to change my child's name because I want him to have the same name as my new boyfriend. That's not going to fly in a california courtroom. And since your father has an idea of where he is, I'm sure he can help you locate him so he can object (and have his rightful day in court), and his side of the family probably knows where he is. you have lots of options.
Thank you for your reply. You're not exactly right, I am getting married this autumn, so I don't want my son to have my 'new boyfriend's' name, I want him to have the same name as myself, my new HUSBAND (his step-father) who provides for him financially and emotionally, and his baby sister. My soon-to-be husband has been in my son's life in a father-role since he was 10 months old, he's all my son has ever known. I do not want my son having a different name to the rest of his family. He is still too young to even know his last name, and while I have to put his birth name on legal papers he is going to be known as the same last name as the rest of the family, I won't have him feeling different to the rest of us, I just would like it so legally he won't be confused and have to give two names, in school, etc.
From 10 months old, my son's biological father would only visit him for a couple hours a week and would frequently miss his scheduled visits. He has not provided financially for him all year (since Feb, he sent a small token amount in Jan). I know you must hear this all the time and I'm sure you are not quick to believe people when they say this but the man is not only a bad character but he is dangerous. Yes I married him once and did have a child with him, but the man I married and the man he turned out to be are very different people. I was all alone in a foreign country in a bad situation when I became pregnant and I did everything I could to get away once my son was born. Yes I did love my ex at one point in my life but he turned out to be a horrible and dangerous person, if this were not the case I would have tried harder to establish some sort of contact with our son, I'm not a cruel person who would deny someone their child because it's inconvenient. I will never lie to my son and pretend someone else is his father, I will tell him who his biological dad is and why we split up and let him make up his own mind, but for the sake of family unity and since his biological dad does nothing for him but send one random greeting card in nearly a year's time I feel he should have the same name as the rest of his family, the family who is there for him every day supporting him and loving him and providing for him. Why should some person who lives half a world away and has nothing to do with him be able to force him to share his name on principle that they share DNA, it just seems wrong. Sorry I don't want to come across harsh on here but my son and I have been through hell with this man and I'm passionate about this. I appreciate anyone taking the time to answer my post, regardless of their answer.
I forgot to mention in my original post that my son and I are both dual nationality (I am american by birth with UK citizenship, my son was born in the UK but was registered as a US citizen abroad when he was 5 weeks old). My son's father is a UK citizen, who lives in the UK.
Why would my son's UK grandmother need to be served for me to petition his name change? She has no parental rights to him, from what I understand it's only between me and the biological father? That woman disowned my son at 3 months old because she had an argument with me and could not stomach being in the same house as me in order to visit her grandson (even though I assured her I would stay upstairs and out of her way so she could visit my son). She has made no attempt to contact him, did not send him any xmas card, but all of a sudden is getting in touch now that my ex has randomly come out of the woodwork.
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Also, my dad has no idea where he is, he just had a random email from him, he did not disclose where he lives.
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*my son and I left the UK when my son was barely 14 months old, he is 2 years old now, so there has been no real contact between him and his father in that time.*
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
Quote:
Quoting
CourtClerk
Dad will need to be served. The child's grandparents will need to be served as well.
But your biggest hurdle is.... I want to change my child's name because I want him to have the same name as my new boyfriend. That's not going to fly in a california courtroom. And since your father has an idea of where he is, I'm sure he can help you locate him so he can object (and have his rightful day in court), and his side of the family probably knows where he is. you have lots of options.
Are you sure the bolded is correct?
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
That doesn't seem right to me either, she has disowned my child since he was 3 months old, and she never had much involvement prior to disowning him.
I wonder if there is any kind of legal aid I could get to get some solid guidance on what to do, I'm not sure where to look, but I want this all straightened out for good.
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
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Quoting
mw05
I forgot to mention in my original post that my son and I are both dual nationality (I am american by birth with UK citizenship, my son was born in the UK but was registered as a US citizen abroad when he was 5 weeks old). My son's father is a UK citizen, who lives in the UK.
And the U.K. was the nation that issued the most recent custody and support order?
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Quoting mw05
Also, my dad has no idea where he is, he just had a random email from him, he did not disclose where he lives.
People are actually pretty easy to find. Your U.K. process server can likely track him down.
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
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Quoting
llworking
Are you sure the bolded is correct?
If you look on the actual petition it states:
if either or both parents are deceased or cannot be located, serve notice of the hearing on the child's grandparents, if living, not less than 30 days before the hearing under the CCP
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
Yes the divorce was filed in the UK and I was given full custody of my son and permission to bring him back home to America to live, my ex did not even contest this. He wanted to keep all of our material possessions, I wanted our son & the dogs, that was our arrangement. I left without a penny, but I am rich beyond words with my son in my life. I read that it is possible to change his name by deed poll in the UK without his father's consent if I can prove his father's absense, I may end up going that route as it seems easier, I will put out an ad in the local paper where his father last lived to try and locate him I guess. I don't have an address for my ex's mother so the best I can do is send a letter to the old address i know he know longer lives at and see if he has something set up with the post office out there to forward his mail. I'm guessing if the UK courts allow the name change the California courts will acknowledge it so I can change his US passport?
Re: Petitioning for Name Change or Adoption When the Other Parent Lives Abroad
Quote:
Quoting
CourtClerk
If you look on the actual petition it states:
if either or both parents are deceased or cannot be located, serve notice of the hearing on the child's grandparents, if living, not less than 30 days before the hearing under the CCP
Ok, that does not say parents AND grandparents. It says grandparent if the parents are deceased or cannot be located. That makes more sense. She only has to serve the grandparents if she is unable to locate dad to serve him.