Can I Make My Ex- Give Our Child My Last Name

This woman was my girlfriend for about a year and a half. We had no plans on living together, she was to keep her apartment and me mine. Without my knowledge, she thought she could get over on the system by claiming to social services that she didn't know who the father was, in order to receive benefits (which didn't work out for her). So when I wasn't at the hospital, she filled out the birth certificate giving my new son HER last name. Once I found out about it, I told her I wanted it changed, asked her to see about making it happen, and for the past several weeks she's been leading me on telling me she's working on it. Today however, she finally comes out with it and tells me she's not changing it, she wants his name to stay the same. Is there anything I can do about this? I want my son to have my last name, he would be the only child with my name, and my only chance to carry my name to the next generation. Without it, my last name will die off forever.

Quote:

---

Quoting pdc76

---

This woman was my girlfriend for about a year and a half. We had no plans on living together, she was to keep her apartment and me mine. Without my knowledge, she thought she could get over on the system by claiming to social services that she didn't know who the father was, in order to receive benefits (which didn't work out for her). So when I wasn't at the hospital, she filled out the birth certificate giving my new son HER last name. Once I found out about it, I told her I wanted it changed, asked her to see about making it happen, and for the past several weeks she's been leading me on telling me she's working on it. Today however, she finally comes out with it and tells me she's not changing it, she wants his name to stay the same. Is there anything I can do about this? I want my son to have my last name, he would be the only child with my name, and my only chance to carry my name to the next generation. Without it, my last name will die off forever.

---

If you are not married to mom, she has the right to name the child however she wishes.

What state are you in?

Quote:

---

Quoting pdc76

---

This woman was my girlfriend for about a year and a half. We had no plans on living together, she was to keep her apartment and me mine. Without my knowledge, she thought she could get over on the system by claiming to social services that she didn't know who the father was, in order to receive benefits (which didn't work out for her). So when I wasn't at the hospital, she filled out the birth certificate giving my new son HER last name. Once I found out about it, I told her I wanted it changed, asked her to see about making it happen, and for the past several weeks she's been leading me on telling me she's working on it. Today however, she finally comes out with it and tells me she's not changing it, she wants his name to stay the same. Is there anything I can do about this? I want my son to have my last name, he would be the only child with my name, and my only chance to carry my name to the next generation. Without it, my last name will die off forever.

---

As long as you are in the US, this advice applies:

She was allowed to name the child anything she liked. She did not have to include you on the birth certificate. You are not married.

If she qualifies for benefits she will receive them, whether the father is known or not because the two of you do NOT live together and again, are not married to each other.

You will have to establish your rights in court.

I am in New Jersey. I should add that this child was a preemie and is requiring extra care. He is still in the hospital and technically is in neither of our custody for the time being.

Quote:

---

Quoting pdc76

---

I am in New Jersey. I should add that this child was a preemie and is requiring extra care. He is still in the hospital and technically is in neither of our custody for the time being.

---

You are not legally the child's father - period - end of story.

well that stinks. thanks for the quick replies guys.

Quote:

---

Quoting pdc76

---

well that stinks. thanks for the quick replies guys.

---

You should have married mom if those rights were that important to you.

Quote:

---

Quoting pdc76

---

I am in New Jersey. I should add that this child was a preemie and is requiring extra care. He is still in the hospital and technically is in neither of our custody for the time being.

---

He is in mom's custody. That fact that he is still in the hospital is irrelevant.

Ditto what Tigi said.

I have custody of my 11 year old daughter from my previous marriage. I've tried to get assistance and they won't give me too much since I'm not collecting child support from my ex. I know what it feels like to be a single parent, It's not easy. Social services has already asked for my name for this new baby. I never thought in a million years I'd have to deal with baby mama drama at age 36 lol.

Quote:

---

Quoting pdc76

---

I have custody of my 11 year old daughter from my previous marriage. I've tried to get assistance and they won't give me too much since I'm not collecting child support from my ex. I know what it feels like to be a single parent, It's not easy. Social services has already asked for my name for this new baby. I never thought in a million years I'd have to deal with baby mama drama at age 36 lol.

---

To be honest, its sounds more to me like you are perpetuating the "drama". Nothing mom did was wrong either legally or morally. You also have to look towards yourself to see if you caused any of mom's reactions. Think about the things that you said to her and how she might have reacted to those things.

I realize that I could be totally wrong, and I am basing my suspicions on your original post, but I suspect that you might have been a tad demanding at the hospital, or a tad premature in things you were attempting to discuss with mom, and that might have made mom nervous enough to react the way that she did.