Minor Manipulated into Sex Acts With Same-Aged Peer
My question involves juvenile law in the State of: California
I'm not sure if I'm on the right forum, but please redirect me if not.
My daughter is now 17. She recently revealed to me that a boy who is the same age as her made her do things she did not want to do. He manipulated her with things like "I'm so depressed and unloved", "Nobody loves me" and finally "I'm going to kill myself if you do not do ..."
They were both 14 at the time and my daughter has been hating herself and living with the knowledge that she did things she hated and never wanted to do and that were also against her morals (she's a Christian). I've been on a roller-coaster for 3 years with her wondering why she was so reclusive and suicidal and hating herself all this time. I don't know how or when these 2 had the opportunity to be alone together. I do know it was summer and I was working full time.
Of course I will take her to a therapist, but I was wondering if there was anything legal that we can do. You see, she's in her Senior year of High School and is excited about next year because she will be completing it at a Jr. College. When she went for orientation Friday, he was there. The teacher came up to her and asked what was wrong because she turned white. She sat in the orientation but all the while the boy kept staring at her. She ran out of the room and vomited. I'm telling you this so you'll know how this has effected her.
So if there's anything legal you think we can do, please let me know. If you want to give parenting advise, please refrain. Thank you.
Re: 17 Year Old Daughter Sexually Abused by a Boy Her Age 3 Years Ago
It does not sound like anything criminal occurred. I suggest you research EMDR as a possible resolution for her.
Re: 17 Year Old Daughter Sexually Abused by a Boy Her Age 3 Years Ago
Unfortunately, this sounds consensual to me (as in not forced, thus, not rape). If any criminal offense could be charged, it would be a misdemeanor and could potentially be charged against both of them depending on the details. You do not describe what you mean by he "made her do things." What are these "things?" What the specific acts are will determine whether there is even a remote possibility of prosecution.
Therapy is probably the best thing you can do for her at this point. And, if she regularly attends a church, perhaps some counseling with a pastor or youth pastor might be in order as they can help her to understand that not only is this not her fault, but that she can be forgiven for any transgressions she might have made.
Re: 17 Year Old Daughter Sexually Abused by a Boy Her Age 3 Years Ago
I have to agree with Carl. In criminal law, since both parties were of equal age and there doesn't appear to be any threat or use of force, I'm not seeing any prosecutor moving on a criminal case, unless it were to be against both parties (which happens SO rarely). In other words, the criminal elements that could constitute "making" her participate don't appear to be present. Emotional pressure alone, among otherwise consenting minors of equal age, just doesn't tend to reach the level where a prosecutor could make a criminal charge stick. With that said, there is nothing to prevent her from making a police report - however, it's vital that she understands that doing so means that were any criminal prosecution to commence, that she'd be faced with being called to take the stand, and describ in lurid detail the events that occurred. This isn't something to be taken lightly, especially in light of the problems she's already experiencing - and, is something that she should consider only after consultation and hopefully thorough work with a qualified therapist. The process of moving a sexually-based crime through the court system is often MORE traumatic than the events themselves, and when a person is already having major daily aspects of their lives disrupted, adding the additional pressures, stresses, and exposures of the criminal process can push emotional limits to the extreme and beyond.
PLEASE so not under-estimate the need for counseling. Minors who are or who perceive themselves to be victims of sexually-based crimes are 30% more likely than non-victims to develop PTSD and similar conditions, as well as almost 10 times more likely to make a suicide attempt. Getting professional help is SO important, it cannot be stressed enough - and the sooner, the better. If you're not sure where to find qualified resources in your community, you can contact RAINN at 1.800.656.HOPE for a referral.
Re: 17 Year Old Daughter Sexually Abused by a Boy Her Age 3 Years Ago
Thank you Carl and Catherine for your thoughtful feedback and advice.
I will both get her a counselor and have her talk to our pastor.
Carl, I love the song Courageous by Casting Crowns as well!