Drug Using Father Wants to End Supervision of Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Tennessee

1st of all, I want to thank any person that can offer advice on this situation.

My fiancee & I have two children that we care for, one we've had together, and one that she had from a previous relationship.

The older child is a nearly 9 year old girl. Her father is 34.

I'll refer to each as Mother, Father & Daughter for anonymity.

Mother & Father meet 11 years ago when Mother was 17 & Father was 23. They had Daughter 2 years later when Mother was 19. They continued their relationship up until Daughter was approximately 2 years old when Mother was at work & DCS called to let Mother know that Father was walking around the neighborhood drunk with Daughter in tow & that DCS was about to take Daughter away. Mother was fortunately able to keep Daughter under the condition that Mother ended relationship with Father permanently. She did and never returned to the relationship. She did however allow Father to remain in Daughters life in what would be considered a normal visitation schedule out of court; every two weeks at his parents house so they could supervise the visit.

This arrangement was in affect for the last 6 years until about 4 months ago. Father, 34, began a relationship with a new girl, whom was underage (17) at the time they met and was having this relationship in his moms home while both Father & Girlfriend lived there. It came to light to Mother that while Daughter was going over to Fathers parents house for visitation, underage girl was present, against Mothers wishes, and all three were sharing a bed at night. Mother decided to end this arrangement as she didn't want Daughter thinking that when she is 17 it is okay to date or having sexual relations with a man that is twice your age and old enough to be your own father. So the new arrangement was that Father had to come to our residence to visit Daughter while Mother & I supervised without underage girl present since Fathers parents could no longer be trusted to do this as they were also aware that Girlfriend was underage.

Father & Girlfriend moved out and got their own place. Girlfriend, now 18, is pregnant, presumably before she turned 18, but that isn't known yet. Father & Girlfriend don't have their own transportation, constantly relying on friends and family to transport them around.

Mother told Father that Father would eventually get unsupervised visitation if he could stop his drinking, as he is an alcoholic and used recreational drugs, but he constantly drinks. Father kept up his normal behavior, never once showing interest in doing more than was expected. While out on trips with us & Daughter to a local shopping center, Father would constantly disappear or be glued to his phone & leaving us to be responsible. This happened on numerous instances. He would also ask me to stop by a local convenience store to allow him to buy more beer, after every single visit during his weekend.

Today, Mother received a call from mediator that Father has requested mediation because he wants unsupervised visitation from mother.

So, in your opinion, what would a mediator or if it went before a judge, give an alcoholic teleiophile/ephebophile father in this situation?

Ideally, Mother & I believe he be required to have supervised visitation, even if it isn't by us and is by a 3rd party.

Thanks!!

Ephebophile? Dramatic, much?

Unless Mom can prove that Dad is actually a danger (versus her and her fiance not liking Dad's situation), he'll get unsupervised visitation.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Ephebophile? Dramatic, much?

Unless Mom can prove that Dad is actually a danger (versus her and her fiance not liking Dad's situation), he'll get unsupervised visitation.

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Dramatic? Are you kidding?! We're talking about a man that references how "hot" high school girls are when he is hanging out with his daughter on supervised visits, not to mention he dated my fiancee when she was underage and now he is 34 and still dating underage girls.

You obviously have no idea how serious a situation that is as even the mediator thought that it was an obvious pattern.

I'll wait for an answer from someone more informed and not completely out of touch with reality since you clearly don't see the danger in that behavior, thanks.

Please explain how his behavior represents a threat to the child.

You don't have to like the legal truth, but it is what it is.

You should also realize that you have absolutely no say in the matter to begin with.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Please explain how his behavior represents a threat to the child.

You don't have to like the legal truth, but it is what it is.

You should also realize that you have absolutely no say in the matter to begin with.

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I obviously realize I have no say in the matter, legally. I care for my fiancee's daughter as my own and will be concerned with her well being, regardless of my lack of a voice in the matter.

Secondly, if you can't see how the behavior of a father having a relationship with an underage girl, whom is only 10 years older than his daughter, can be harmful to her mentally, emotionally and possibly physically when she turns that age, then I'm not going to bother explaining it.

Anyway, I'm not here to argue why I think he shouldn't or to seek the approval of members here. I'm asking what a mediator or judge would likely award a father of his character. If he is to get unsupervised visitation, then he gets it, but some advice as to how to fight that would be appreciated as I'm sure you and other parents wouldn't just be alright with their children spending time with an alcoholic father that has sex with underage girls, regardless of his right to have that time unsupervised.

Here's the thing. He was like this when Mom chose him as Dad. She might not like his lifestyle, but that's a parenting issue - not a legal issue. Mom is going to have to face the reality that once again, unless Dad represents a threat to the child's welfare he's going to get regular visitation.

Seriously - the courts don't care. He can live with three 18 year old girlfriends if he wants to.

And the reality is that nobody "constantly" drinks. Nobody. He might frequently drink, but Mom needs to lose that terminology in court.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Here's the thing. He was like this when Mom chose him as Dad. She might not like his lifestyle, but that's a parenting issue - not a legal issue. Mom is going to have to face the reality that once again, unless Dad represents a threat to the child's welfare he's going to get regular visitation.

Seriously - the courts don't care. He can live with three 18 year old girlfriends if he wants to.

And the reality is that nobody "constantly" drinks. Nobody. He might frequently drink, but Mom needs to lose that terminology in court.

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Fair enough.

If you do not like her answer...I suggest an appointment with a lawyer in your area.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Here's the thing. He was like this when Mom chose him as Dad. She might not like his lifestyle, but that's a parenting issue - not a legal issue. Mom is going to have to face the reality that once again, unless Dad represents a threat to the child's welfare he's going to get regular visitation.

Seriously - the courts don't care. He can live with three 18 year old girlfriends if he wants to.

And the reality is that nobody "constantly" drinks. Nobody. He might frequently drink, but Mom needs to lose that terminology in court.

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I actually know somebody who "constantly" drinks. If he isn't sleeping, he has a beer in his hand. In fact, he schedules his meals so that there is one at the beginning of the day, and one right before he goes to sleep, so that it doesn't interfere with his drinking. Granted, he isn't normal, but he is "somebody".