Changing My Child's Name

My question involves name change laws in the State of: South Carolina
Short version, I was young and dumb and decided to marry the guy I thought I was in love with. He knew my situation and told me he wanted to be the father of my child even though he knew there was a chance the child wasn't his. His name is onthe birth certificate. My son is 3, we are in the middle of a divorce, I believe he is abusing my son. I had the court order a paternity test and he is not the father. I would like his name removed. My lawyer isn't the best and I would like advice as to what I can do. I really don't want the biological father on the birth certificate, if that's what I have to do I will to protect my son. However, if the legal father will sign over his rights or I can take him off, my fiance wants to adopt my son. What can I do?
Thank you.

You can't have a fiance when you're still married.

That aside, two questions.

1. What proof do you have of any sort of abuse?

2. Why is it in your son's best interest to lose the only Dad he's had for 3 years?

You really need to stop hopping from one relationship to another and thinking it is the person you will spend the rest of your life with. You have a child to consider.

Proof of possible abuse: I have over 40 pictures of bruising scratches etc. My son showed up with bruises that looked like handprints. I've asked him who hurt him he said daddy. One of the women who has babysat my son noticed the bruising and asked him who hurt him, he responded with daddy. His father has also abused me in the past. My son showed up at my house with a bleeding bottom from severe diaper rash. When I confronted my husband, he told me "I don't change his diapers". My son won't go near my husband when I drop him off with "daddy".
Losing his father: out of three years "daddy" has only been around a little over one year. Part of this due to deployments part because he won't have anything to do with his son unless he has to.
I realize that people are very biased toward their own points of view. There are several details I am leaving out because I am trying to be objective and concise.

Quote:

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Quoting sevco108

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Proof of possible abuse: I have over 40 pictures of bruising scratches etc. My son showed up with bruises that looked like handprints. I've asked him who hurt him he said daddy. One of the women who has babysat my son noticed the bruising and asked him who hurt him, he responded with daddy. His father has also abused me in the past. My son showed up at my house with a bleeding bottom from severe diaper rash. When I confronted my husband, he told me "I don't change his diapers". My son won't go near my husband when I drop him off with "daddy".
Losing his father: out of three years "daddy" has only been around a little over one year. Part of this due to deployments part because he won't have anything to do with his son unless he has to.
I realize that people are very biased toward their own points of view. There are several details I am leaving out because I am trying to be objective and concise.

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And what did you do when you saw the bruises? Call child services?

Photos prove nothing. Kids get bruised. They get scratched.

The courts look at what you're doing as "playing musical daddies". You were pregnant to A, married B and had B raise him as his own child, and now you're onto C who you say wants to adopt. And the child's only 3 years old.

If you wish to stand any chance at getting what you want (that is, Dad's paternity disestablished) you'll need to speak with an attorney and get this done BEFORE your divorce is final. Yes, the State will want someone else on the hook - likely the biological father.

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Another quick question - does Dad actually want his paternity to be disestablished?

Yes I have contacted DSS and they pretty much said the same thing. The area I am in isn't the best with their human services. The fact that my son came to me with bruising that looked like hand prints, he's wearing long sleeve shirts of sweater and flannel material in 80 degree weather, he's stand-offish with "daddy", the explanations for these bruises are ridiculous (hickies) all make red flags go off in my head. I went to my husband's house this past week to drop off some things and my husband's girlfriend informs me that they had locked (her words) my son in his room around 7 p.m. because of his misbehavior and they felt it was his bedtime. I could hear my son screaming and pounding on that door. By the time the sheriffs got there though my son was asleep. I have shown pictures of the bruising that looked like hand prints to a contact who used to work for Child Protective Services in Texas. They even told me the bruising looked like hand prints. My lawyer has seen the pictures, he said the same. He even went so far as to say the excuses my husband is giving me for the consistent scratching and bruising is "bullshit".
As far as musical daddies, I understand that completely. Again there are certain facts I do not feel comfortable divulging. The situation surrounding myself and "A", as you put it, are not something I care to air on a public forum. That is why I want to rectify this situation for my son's sake. None of this sounds good period end of story, and that is why I seeking some sort of help as to where I should go from here.
Honestly, my husband has never raised a finger to take care of his son and I could go on and on about what he has done or hasn't done, but that doesn't matter. What matters is my son's safety and well being. As I stated previously, my husband has abused me in the past, I don't want that cycle repeated. My son considers "C" more of a father than his own "dad". My son constantly asks for "C" whether he is with me or "daddy", he respects "C" as were he doesn't with his "daddy". Again, I could go on and on, however you can not see my son's behavior and thus it is somewhat of a moot point.
Once "daddy's" family finds out, there will be a very strong influence for "daddy" to revoke his rights and move on with his life. So it is my belief that I do have a chance for him to revoke his rights.

No, really - you didn't call CPS? Why on earth not?

You have an attorney. What does your attorney say? I'm sorry, but as an attorney he is LEGALLY MANDATED to report any suspicion of child abuse.

Someone, somewhere, isn't being straight.

How do you think I feel! DSS is the South Carolina version of CPS. If was back home in Texas, I wouldn't be having this issue. To give you an example of how bs DSS is over here, I went in to talk to these people yet again on Tuesday. While I was in the middle of explaining my situation to the case worker, she called another worker in and started talking to them about how old her child had to be before she could enroll him in any sports, her son is 6 months old. I've shown them the police reports, Ive shown them the pictures. Nothing. I told her that I had contacted my child's physician and they told me to contact DSS. Nothing! I've called these people, I've gone into their office. Nothing! I've had the sheriff who came to my house tell me that there was no reason my son should have that many scars, scratches or bruises on him. I've taken my son to the local ER with a bleeding bottom from having a diaper rash for a whole week. I was told that my son's bleeding anus did not constitute child neglect. My son is dark like myself, he now has white scarring around his anus from that episode and that was in January. And when I say white I mean bleach white scarring. That was withing the first week of his father having him after having been gone for almost an entire year.
My lawyer has told me that I've done and am doing all I can do. His paralegal told me that I need to keep reporting it up "the chain of command" every single time. That way when if (God forbid) something happens I have proof and I don't look like the bad guy.

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Btw, I've been reading some of the other threads and I noticed you posed the questions:
"Mom, if you get divorced after the adoption would you be okay with New Dad having custody and you paying him child support?

New Dad, if you get divorced would you be okay with paying child support for a child who is not yours biologically?"
The answer to both of those is yes. If "C" and I were to get married as planned, then divorced (not in plans) and I lost custody then that would be through my own fault. As "C" is one of the few people I consider an actual man I would want him to raise my son in that situation. If he had to pay child support he would, that is something we have already discussed. My son considers him a father and he considers my son his own flesh and blood. Honestly, he has done more for my son than his own "daddy" ever has.

Yes, I do that :)

It's a very important question Mommy, and it's one which too few parents really think about in the long term.

We are human. It's called instant gratification.
Given what I've put on here, here are my main questions
1. What are my options as far as having "daddy" off the birth certificate?
2. Would it be easier to just have my son keep his current last name and then do a step parent adoption, IF "daddy" does relinquish rights

You're not going to screw around with paternity, actual or apparent, with instant gratification. Your own self -intererst has obvioulsy been not in the interest of the child, so it is doubtful that your going to get relief, short or long term, form the court just to suit yourself. Yes, many states child services are inefficient, understaffed, and underfunder, but that is NOT an excuse for cutting corners with the kid.

What I was trying to state was that as humans we are primarily interested in instant gratification and thus most people don't think about the questions dogmatique posed. It was not my intention to sound as if my interest with the paternity test and my son's name were instant gratification.
What I am failing to understand is your reference to me cutting corners with my child. If that's what you feel I am doing, please explain.
As far as my self interest (please excuse me if I seem rude that is not my intention), I was young and doing what I thought was right at the time. Looking back i can see my mistakes very clearly. What I am trying to do now is what is right, for my son. The man I am with now, as I have stated before, has done more for my son than his own "daddy". We have been dating for sometime now and we would like for him to be able to adopt my son if/when we are married. We both want to settle down and provide the best life for my son. I am not looking for judgement, excuse me if I am being over over sensitive. I am looking for help. But flyingron, if you can honestly tell me that you did not make mistakes when you were a youngun than you are a better person than I. Again, it is not my intention to be rude and I apologize if I've come across that way .

I am a step father. My children (from my wife's first marriage were 3 and 6). There father still existed. There's no way of just making him go away no matter how convenient for my wife or we illusion for the kids. Yes, I paid their support and their college tuition. I did all the dad things with my stepson (mentoring him through school, soap box derby, etc..), took my daughter to get her learner's permit, driver's license, stood beside her in court when she got her traffic ticket (she takes after her mother). That still doesn't give standing to change the kids name or otherwise pretend their father doesn't exist.

The short cutting was that you were too impatient to report a serious problem to the authorities. Well it's not set up for your convenience. Think about the kid.

The attitude you are getting here is not going to be any different (and in fact may be kinder) than a judge will have for you in court.

The simple matter, if the biodad is ok with the change, and you can convince the judge that it's not otherwise contrary to the kid's interest to make the change, it will be approved.
Your chances of getting the matter changed otherwise is near impossible. The convenience of everybody having the same last name is NOT going to fly as a reason.

1. I commend you for being a man and a father. Most males these days do not have the character to do what you have.
2. I'm failing to understand how you are reaching the conclusion that I haven't reported any of the things I have listed as abuse to the proper authorities. I have, again, and again, and again. The next step I'm am going to take is to go to DSS and speak to their supervisor or call one of the national abuse hotlines.
3. From the other threads I've been looking at and the responses I've gotten to mine it is to my understanding that leaving my son's name and birth certificate the way they are is about the best if only option. Then a) if "daddy" decides to relinquish rights after at least a year of marriage to my boyfriend fiance whatever, we can try for him to do a step parent adoption. Or b) if "daddy" does what he usually does and become the absentee father, i.e. not paying child support not visiting etc, then I could have his parental rights revoked and again do the step parent adoption. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
I should prob add that "Daddy" and bio dad are not the same person. And that bio dad has told me he wanted nothing to do with my child.