How to Show to the Court the Best Interest of Child in Contested Name Change of Minor

My question involves name change laws in the State of: FL

My daughter is 13 & her biological father waited until she was 12 before trying to have any contact or develop a relationship with her. He is not on her birth certificate because he refused to be a part of her life. We were never married so I gave her my maiden name (ex. Smith). There is a child support order which has identified him as her biological father through paternity testing. He complies with half of the order (pays monthly but never provided medical insurance as ordered) to avoid consequences such as garnishment & driver's license suspension (his license is currently suspended due to failure to pay back child support). In the last 16 months he has only seen her 7 times. He calls her for 2-5 minutes at a time so there's no real conversation there and he's been out of the country for the last 6 months.

In the last 12 years I have married & had 2 more children. From the day I married, my daughter called my husband Daddy and put my husband's name (ex. Jones) on her school papers as her own although we told her she did not have to do either. I didn't want her to feel left out when I changed my name after getting married so I hyphenated my name (Smith Jones). However, now that she has 2 siblings, she wants her name to reflect the relationship she has with her brothers, the family who has raised her, cared for her, and to whom she feels the greatest connection. She wants her last name to match mine (Smith Jones) so I have made a petition to the court change her name to match mine.

The biological father is protesting this name change & telling her that he will change her name to his whether she likes it or not (he has not filed a counter petition, only an answer contesting the request). He tells her that the man she calls dad is not a real father among a few other disparaging comments about her family. Things that shouldn't be said to a child.

I understand that the court may or may not grant my request but I must show that the name change is in her best interest. I understand that the fact the biological father has been a crappy absentee father does not change the fact that he is still biologically her father so that may not be enough to demonstrate that burden. So the question is, how do I show that this request is in her best interest?

especially due to the current state of society and the propensity of blended families, a court generally does not allow a name change for the reasons you give. If you didn't want the child to have a different name, why didn't you leave yours what it was?



The child is likely to end up with a hyphenated name using the child's given birth name and the father's name, or at best (for you) retain the name as it is.

Please don't make your child a hyphen. Though she is to young to realize it now, when she applies for jobs and the hyphenated name is on the application/resume, it sticks out like a blatant caution the person is different, in some creepy or pretentious manner.

Thank you for your response. I changed my name after I married to show honor both to my daughter and to my husband. But it's not my last name that I'm asking about. Unfortunately, your answer does not address my original question. I have read that I must show that the request to change my child's name must be in her best interest but I have not found any information that suggests how to show best interest in name change issues. I've only been able to find info on showing best interest in child custody issues and we're not dealing with that yet. So how do I demonstrate this request is in her best interest to the court? What facts are relevant to that determination? Are similar criteria used for best interest in name changes as in custody issues?

The problem: it isn't in the best interest of the child. It is in you and your husbands best interest. The child has no legal attachment to the name. You trying to toss the unrelated moniker upon her actually removes her from her legal roots n if you want the child to have your last name, look towards adoption by the step-father, if the legal father is accepting.

Adn yes, this is about your last name. Your daughter already has one, the same one you gave up when you took your husbands last name. Maybe if you had not abandoned that name, and as such, your daughter, this would not currently be an issue.

I think I will take the advice you provide in your signature & ignore your advice JK. If you read my first post carefully you would have noticed that I specifically said that it was my daughter requesting this change. She began using my husband's name without any prompting from me or anyone else. If she had asked for her biological father's name I would have supported her in that request. This is not about me or what I want and has always been about my daughter. To say that she has no legal attachment to the name which we are requesting is not entirely accurate either. She does have 2 siblings with the name & this fact also fuels her desire for the change. Thanks for your opinion anyway JK.

If anyone else has any legal experience and relevant advice, I would love to hear it.

Thanks.

Sorry, you may not like what JK is saying, but he is pretty much right. Absent the biodad giving up rights and allowing adoption, you're not going to convince a court that a pseudo-adoption through name change is in the child's interest. You can't cut this corner (Believe me I do understand how it is, I raised two children starting when they were 3 and 6 from my wife's first marriage).

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Quoting momstrong

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My daughter is 13 & her biological father waited until she was 12 before trying to have any contact or develop a relationship with her. He is not on her birth certificate because he refused to be a part of her life.

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You indicate later that paternity was legally established, so if he's not on the birth certificate it's a ministerial oversight. That should be corrected.

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Quoting momstrong

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We were never married so I gave her my maiden name (ex. Smith)

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If the child has never shared a surname with her biological father, then he has less of a basis to dispute a name change.

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Quoting momstrong

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From the day I married, my daughter called my husband Daddy and put my husband's name (ex. Jones) on her school papers as her own although we told her she did not have to do either. I didn't want her to feel left out when I changed my name after getting married so I hyphenated my name (Smith Jones). However, now that she has 2 siblings, she wants her name to reflect the relationship she has with her brothers, the family who has raised her, cared for her, and to whom she feels the greatest connection. She wants her last name to match mine (Smith Jones) so I have made a petition to the court change her name to match mine.

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You later indicate to jk that "I specifically said that it was my daughter requesting this change", but the history here makes clear that it was your idea for the child to use your current husband's surname. I can understand why that has become natural, and why the child wants her name to match yours, but just as the biological father's historic relative indifference is relevant, your role in the history is also relevant to why the child feel's that way.

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Quoting momstrong

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The biological father is protesting this name change & telling her that he will change her name to his whether she likes it or not (he has not filed a counter petition, only an answer contesting the request). He tells her that the man she calls dad is not a real father among a few other disparaging comments about her family. Things that shouldn't be said to a child.

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I don't think he would succeed in an effort to change her last name, given his acquiescence to her use of your surname throughout her life and his choice at prior opportunities to let that practice continue.

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Quoting momstrong

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So the question is, how do I show that this request is in her best interest?

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If your legal surname is now the hyphenated surname, the child has never shared a surname with her biological father, and the child wants her surname to match yours in order to better reflect her relationship with her half-siblings, then that would appear to be the gist of your argument.

The school records thing is interesting. Back in the day, it was not at all unusual for a stepchild to be enrolled under a stepparent's surname, despite the child's having a different legal name, but these days schools usually insist upon enrollment under the child's legal name. If the child is enrolled under her legal name but the school merely follows the practice of using her stepfather's surname, then there's no issue with her school records. If they somehow enrolled her using a surname other than her legal surname, that's an issue you would want to clear up.

Thanks flyingiron. I understand both what JK & you are trying to say. I'm just looking for relevant legal facts that may be presented to show best interest not an opinion on whether or not people agree with the petition or what others think the court will or will not do. We're not trying to cut any corners or even to cut her bio dad out, which is why we haven't requested step-parent adoption or attempted to terminate parental rights. I submitted the petition to support my daughter. I understand the court may not agree with our petition and have explained that possible outcome to her as well. She is worth the money & the effort to try even if the court denies our request.

If no one knows the answer to my questions, it's ok not to reply. The questions I want answered are only these:
So how do I demonstrate this request is in her best interest to the court? What facts are relevant to that determination? Are similar criteria used for best interest in name changes as in custody issues (as in FL statute 61.13)?

hi momstrong I do understand your position and I believed you can do the change I read your post and since you have not been married with her biological father and he does not appear on her birth certificate you have the right over your daughter. Because you are providing her a stable environment and healthy family life style if you husband is supporting this why not to try it. Also go to a family attorney and make sure to have a proof of everything you will say to the court it can help to your case "pictures of your family". wish you good luck!!!

My daughter is enrolled in school under her legal name. But she began putting my husband's name on her school papers (except for state tests like the FCAT) immediately after our wedding. I hadn't even changed my name yet and she was ready & wanted to use my husband's name immediately. She also introduces herself to friends with the name we are seeking. The schools allow a child to be called what they wish as long as they're enrolled under their legal name. I believe the school views it in the same way as a child using a nickname (ex. Becky for Rebecca or Bill for William).

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"If your legal surname is now the hyphenated surname, the child has never shared a surname with her biological father, and the child wants her surname to match yours in order to better reflect her relationship with her half-siblings, then that would appear to be the gist of your argument."

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Yes this is a big part of our argument. But is this sufficient to show best interest? What additional facts/legal considerations should be brought before the court?

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Quoting momstrong

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If no one knows the answer to my questions, it's ok not to reply.

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There's no need to be obnoxious. If you didn't understand the information I gave you, it's easy enough to ask for clarification.

There is no enumerated list of best interest factors for name change cases. You should anticipate that the court will apply the relevant provisions of the child custody best interest factors, whether directly or impliedly, as that's what the case law requires. I've already discussed the facts that you've shared so far that could be used to support your case. If you are holding back other facts, I cannot comment on those.

She likely understands. I believe it is simply due the fact nobody is telling her she is right in her actions. All she wants is somebody to tell her how to succeed in her endeavor.



momstrong:

Since you have suggested you have hyphenated your name to using your maiden name and your husbands name, have you changed his children's name to the hyphenated name? Has your husband changd his name to the hyphenated name as well? If not, your argument falls flat on it's face. Only if everybody in the household has the exact same name does your argument make any sense.






I find it odd that while you claim to have so much concern for the legal father that you do not want to consider adoption yet you want to put a name on his daughter that is the name of your husband. You think that is having any sort of respect for the legal father? Apparently he does not believe the same as you on this matter.

Thank you again for your considerate responses. I apologize if you thought I was being obnoxious. I am trying to be as respectful as I can and show you the same courtesy and frankness that you show me.
I did not seek answers to my questions on this forum to be told I'm right. That's what my friends and family are for. The bottom line is what others think of the petition or believe they know the ulterior reasons behind the petition is irrelevant to what the outcome will be. The decision will rest with the judge. I only asked for legal considerations. I believe I may have found that information today on the Florida Bar website. But again I thank you for taking time to respond.
JK it is unreasonable to seek the name change of 3 other people when the change of 1 will accomplish the goal. Of course the biological father does not agree with us. However, he didn't agree that he should be a part of his daughter's life for 12 years and I disagreed with that. It's obvious you enjoy to argue. You probably missed your calling and should have been a lawyer. ;)
Whether or not I have respect for the biological father is also irrelevant. Actions always speak louder than words. I have the greatest respect for my daughter which is why I support her in this petition AND in cultivating a healthy relationship with her biological father. A name change does not change biology or legal responsibility so I am not taking anything away from him. I am affirming my daughter and her identity as a whole person, not decided by the man who suddenly decides he wants to be a father.

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By the way Mr. Knowitall, I didn't see your response when I was responding. Your post hit as I was typing and I didn't notice. Thanks again. It was your post that led me to search again and find some relevant case law on the Florida Bar website.

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JK it is unreasonable to seek the name change of 3 other people when the change of 1 will accomplish the goal.

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sorry but no, when the single action has no basis, common sense says not only is the three names changed the most reasonable action but the only proper action and if the law works correctly, the only legally viable action. Even now it sound like the other children and possibly the husband will still have a different name than the child (based on the presumption you use a hyphenated name, not knowing if your husband does but presuming the other children don't)

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Of course the biological father does not agree with us. However, he didn't agree that he should be a part of his daughter's life for 12 years and I disagreed with that. It's obvious you enjoy to argue. You probably missed your calling and should have been a lawyer.

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;)I had an interest but circmstances prevented it.

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Whether or not I have respect for the biological father is also irrelevant.

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you say that now but when I suggested you consider adoption, your respect for him was the basis of not taking such an action. HHmm, makes one wonder.



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sorry but no, when the single action has no basis, common sense says not only is the three names changed the most reasonable action but the only proper action and if the law works correctly, the only legally viable action. Even now it sound like the other children and possibly the husband will still have a different name than the child (based on the presumption you use a hyphenated name, not knowing if your husband does but presuming the other children don't)

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Thanks JK. That is your very biased unlegal opinion and I will keep it in mind as such.

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you say that now but when I suggested you consider adoption, your respect for him was the basis of not taking such an action. HHmm, makes one wonder.

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Yes, JK. I do wonder. I wonder if you are capable of reading posts without adding your own words or assumptions to them. Please re-read my posts. No where in any of them did I say that "my respect for the biological father" was the basis for any of my actions or decisions. That's your assumption. I also wonder if you're able to respond to the questions that are being asked with any case law, statute, or court opinion that backs any of what you purport to be legal.
My petition does have merit or it would not be allowed to move forward in my county. It is reasonable and responsible for me to seek out as much information as I can to effectively present our arguments in court and hope that the outcome will in the end be in our favor. The only opinions that matter are legal ones based on FL law, not personal opinions in a forum such as this.
It's too bad circumstances prevented you going into law. I suspect you would have been a formidable opponent in the court room. Good luck to you! :encouragement:

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Yes, JK. I do wonder. I wonder if you are capable of reading posts without adding your own words or assumptions to them. Please re-read my posts. No where in any of them did I say that "my respect for the biological father" was the basis for any of my actions or decisions. That's your assumption.

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I'm just looking for relevant legal facts that may be presented to show best interest not an opinion on whether or not people agree with the petition or what others think the court will or will not do. We're not trying to cut any corners or even to cut her bio dad out, which is why we haven't requested step-parent adoption or attempted to terminate parental rights.

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Ok, so I gave you credit for being a reasonable person and had meant the fact you are not attempting to cut out bio dad as being respectful of his position as the legal father. My bad. I guess that leaves you as a careless despicable person as that is what a person that does not respect the legal fathers position would be, at least in my opinion.

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My petition does have merit or it would not be allowed to move forward in my county.

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depends what you mean by moving forward. Generally, until a judge sees it, as long as you pay the filing fee and fill out the paperwork, your petition will move forward, regardless of the merit.

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The only opinions that matter are legal ones based on FL law, not personal opinions in a forum such as this.

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well, maybe that's why it's free. Don't mistake a lack of providing statute or case law as being uninformed.

I guess since I am nothing but an uneducated fool,, I guess it would do no good to tell you I know there is a case almost identical to your situation.. Mom wanted to give the child her now married name. Dad objected. Boy, if I was more educated, I could have something more than unsupported opinion I could probably find it. I will tell though that the girls name remained unchanged. There is one thing in your situation that could have made it go the other way though but hey, that is only my opinion and of course, that means it isn't worth anything, right?