Getting Authorization for Out of State Vacations

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Maine

Hello all. Some background info. I have 2 kids with an ex wife. we have 50/50 legal custody and she is the cp and I am the ncp.


I am looking for information on changing my custody order to include something about out of state vacations. At this time there is nothing in the order to deal with this type of issue. I would like to take the kids to Disney in FL next year with taxes. But my ex is being very unwilling to work something out between us. I know that if something is covered in the order then that is that, and if something is not covered then 1. The parents can work something out they both like without going to court, or they can go to court and have something put in.

I am trying to find examples of orders that have been approved by the courts in Maine. Or if Maine has a set of default orders that the state uses. I think I know what the default orders are. I have some family members and co-workers who have had issue like this in the past where the courts just added to the custody order saying ether parent could take the kid(s) out of state for what ever reason as long as they gave the other parent 30 day notice. My biggest thing is I need in it are

1. I need it to not require that it be during my normal court order time.
2. That it can happen anytime of the year.

I need these as I work and I don't want to worry bout not getting a the time off when its my court order time.

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Quoting strongbus

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Maine

Hello all. Some background info. I have 2 kids with an ex wife. we have 50/50 legal custody and she is the cp and I am the ncp.


I am looking for information on changing my custody order to include something about out of state vacations. At this time there is nothing in the order to deal with this type of issue. I would like to take the kids to Disney in FL next year with taxes. But my ex is being very unwilling to work something out between us. I know that if something is covered in the order then that is that, and if something is not covered then 1. The parents can work something out they both like without going to court, or they can go to court and have something put in.

I am trying to find examples of orders that have been approved by the courts in Maine. Or if Maine has a set of default orders that the state uses. I think I know what the default orders are. I have some family members and co-workers who have had issue like this in the past where the courts just added to the custody order saying ether parent could take the kid(s) out of state for what ever reason as long as they gave the other parent 30 day notice. My biggest thing is I need in it are

1. I need it to not require that it be during my normal court order time.
2. That it can happen anytime of the year.

I need these as I work and I don't want to worry bout not getting a the time off when its my court order time.

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That could be more difficult. If you have a week on, week off type of schedule then judges tend to expect you to take vacations during your own parenting time. That gives you multiple opportunities a year. Surely you would be able to get time off on one of those multiple opportunities.

Is the issue here that you want to take the kids out of school for part or all of the trip? Including language about travel during your own parenting time can be helpful if the other parent is obstructing your travel plans on your own time, but if the issue here is not your ex- saying "You can never take an out-of-state vacation" and is actually, "You need to use your own vacation time, and you can't take the kids out of school," that's a very different matter.

As llworking indicates, you already have a parenting time and extended holiday schedule. The court will expect you to take your vacation consistent with the schedule, and would have a difficult time understanding why you believe you should get additional vacation time on top of that schedule that trumps all of your ex's rights.

maybe i should have included more info. while I have 50/50 legal custody. I only get the kids eow and one week in the summer cause we live over 150ish miles apart.(while this is what is writing in the court order its not uncommon for the ex to give me lots of extra time.) It was set up like that because at the time we got divorced we didn't have much money each(i now have a good job and ex is getting ssdi) and my ex couldn't drive at the time, and didn't know if we could handle anymore then that. One of the things i am going for is more time. I am just worried bout getting time off when I have the kids for my time. Summer is a pita to get time off form where I work as it is the busies time of the year and with the amount of collage kids and single parents its a pita for anyone besides them to get school breaks off. And while part of it is that she don't want them to miss any school if I can't get time off during a break is that she don't like the idea of them being that far form her. Kids are 9 and 11 atm

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Quoting strongbus

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maybe i should have included more info. while I have 50/50 legal custody. I only get the kids eow and one week in the summer cause we live over 150ish miles apart.(while this is what is writing in the court order its not uncommon for the ex to give me lots of extra time.) It was set up like that because at the time we got divorced we didn't have much money each(i now have a good job and ex is getting ssdi) and my ex couldn't drive at the time, and didn't know if we could handle anymore then that. One of the things i am going for is more time. I am just worried bout getting time off when I have the kids for my time. Summer is a pita to get time off form where I work as it is the busies time of the year and with the amount of collage kids and single parents its a pita for anyone besides them to get school breaks off. And while part of it is that she don't want them to miss any school if I can't get time off during a break is that she don't like the idea of them being that far form her. Kids are 9 and 11 atm

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Ok, that is obviously different. You certainly can get more time in the summer, but honestly dad, I don't see a judge allowing you to regularly take the children out of school for vacations.

A one time really special deal? Maybe, but in general, judges don't order things that would cause children to miss school. You also need to be more descriptive when you ask people questions, because you certainly mislead all of us with your initial post. That just wastes everyone's time, including yours.

sorry bout that. like I am looking for examples of out of state vacations. such as the following

ether parent can take the kids on 1 2 week out of state vacation.
parent taking kids must give the other parent at lest 30 days notice.
kids can not miss more then 1 week of school for said trip.
parent taking the kids on trip must give the other parent the following info.
state going to.
hotel staying at(just the one that will be staying at final place, not the ones along the way)
planned route to get there such as flying/driving/etc
planned of what doing what day(ie if going to a park one day or a beach another)
parent taking kids must let other parent a min of 5 or 6 times a day to talk to other parent over the phone.

Like i said my brothers(family as stated above) divorce papers just say ether parent can take the kids out of state with just a 30 day notice. and that was done by the judge cause nether my brother or ex sister in law could agree on anything. That would lead me to think that the courts are ok with the kids missing school. But I may be wrong.

This would not be a every year thing. More like once every 3 or 4 years.

Whoa - 5 or 6 times PER DAY?

Surely that's a typo?!

Hell's bells, even 5/6 times a week is excessive. So is the itinerary. That's quite honestly none her business where YOU go with the kids, and vice versa.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Whoa - 5 or 6 times PER DAY?

Surely that's a typo?!

Hell's bells, even 5/6 times a week is excessive. So is the itinerary. That's quite honestly none her business where YOU go with the kids, and vice versa.

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I was just throwing numbers out there. That is the info i am looking for. I used 5/6 because when me and my current wife went down 3 years ago with just me her and my stepson that is bout the number of times we let her son call his dad or his dad call him total. ie once when he got up in the morning/once round noon time/once before bed at night/ then a few others here and there.
As for the itinerary one of the things my ex is saying why she don't want to let me take them is she is worried if something happens if she don't know what we were planing that day then she wouldn't know where to start looking for the kids.

Politely tell Mom that if there's an emergency, she'll be the first one contacted.

Honestly, the phone calls? That's just unreasonable.

A judge is going to roll his/her eyes and make a snarky comment about micro-managing. ;)

thanks dogmatique. I figure the kids will want to call her anyways. The reason I am trying to find this info is so I can look at my ex and say ok there is 2 ways we can do this. 1st way is fight over it and the courts are going order x for rules for vacations. which seems to be just 30 days notice at any time of the year. or 2 we can work something else out that be more to both our liking. We let my parents(kids grandparents) take them to Canada one weekend of mine to cause the kids wanted to go and they have family up there on their mothers side they could see. She had no problem them but my mother said she called every couple hours. This is one thing I don't get she had np with the kids going to Canada for a weekend but is having big issues with me take them to FL even if I can get a school break to do it.

The hill you are going to have to overcome is the fact you want to be able to take them out of school and miss up to 5 days. I don't know about other school districts but I cannot imagine that more than 7 days of unexcused absences would be acceptable (yes, I know that kids miss more than that and sick days are generally excused if seen by a doctor). I understand the issue of getting time off during the summer but you need to think creatively. What about school breaks? Fall, winter, spring? They, generally, last 1 week and are normally off season.

As for info to give the CP? How about leave date, arrive date, hotel/condo you are staying at. Flight info if it applies. Beyond that, info is just extra stuff.

trust me sesmama I would love to take time off during school breaks and will be trying that is my 1st chose. But we have some single parents and college age workers at my job and they seem to give them 1st pick on school breaks. I put in to have April break off almost 3 month in advance(bout the max ahead of time you can ask for time off). It came back saying I could only have 4 of the days off as the other days had the max amount of people already approved off(think its like 6 or 8 per day max). So taking them out of school for one week(5 days max) is only if I can't get a school break off.