17-Year Old As Supervisor During Visits

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

My son has been placed in my custody following allegations of drunk driving. My suspicion is the court will move for supervised visits.
My son's father has a 17 year old from a previous marriage and he and my son are quite close.
The 17 year old lives with my ex husband, so he is always at the residence.

Can the 17 year old be considered an appropriate supervisor? I don't really know anyone else in the area that could be there.
My ex husband's parents are too old to drive, so they can't be present.

It isn't up to you to find a proper supervisor and given your allegations, it is unlikely the other 17 yo would be seen as a proper supervisor. Not sure it is even allowable but since your son has gotten into trouble with the other 17 yo there, there is no reason to believe he would be able to provide proper supervision as the court sees it.

Thank you. I just wish there were some way to make this easier on my son :(
He doesn't really understand much of what's going on. Trying to take it one day at a time.
All I can do is trust that the court can sort this all out.
(Sigh)
Thanks for the advice. I had a feeling that was the answer, but appreciate the confirmation.

he's 17 and charged with a DUI and you are concerned with making it easier on him? Sounds like maybe people have been too easy on him. He needs to understand the seriousness of the issue and the possible lifetime issues it could cause.

Sorry but the last thing I would be worried about is how hard this is on him.

Sorry, jk, if that was all unclear.
The 17 y/o was not charged with a DUI. My ex husband was reported to me as "possibly" being under the influence when he picked up our 7 year old son from school.
The 17 y/o is a straight A student, never been in trouble, active in sports, etc...but he lives with my ex.
So I wondered if the 17 y/o could serve as supervisor during my ex husband's visitation time with the 7 y/o who is now in my custody.
The 7 y/o is the one who doesn't understand all this...the 17 y/o is completely aware of what's going on with dad.

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Quoting ConcernedmomofOne

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Sorry, jk, if that was all unclear.
The 17 y/o was not charged with a DUI. My ex husband was reported to me as "possibly" being under the influence when he picked up our 7 year old son from school.
The 17 y/o is a straight A student, never been in trouble, active in sports, etc...but he lives with my ex.
So I wondered if the 17 y/o could serve as supervisor during my ex husband's visitation time with the 7 y/o who is now in my custody.
The 7 y/o is the one who doesn't understand all this...the 17 y/o is completely aware of what's going on with dad.

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You are correct, it definitely was not clear. Realizing that I thought your son (the 7 yo?) as being charged with DUI, I suspect it will put my original post in a bit of a different light. So, ignore most of that.


and you didn't say anything about a 7 yo but I''m guessing that is the son who is placed with you now due to the fathers(?) issue, correct?


as to supervision by the 17 yo. It could be possible but it would be up to the court. Supervision can mean a lot of different things to a court. There are myriad levels of what type of supervision they believe a child might need and ultimately, what the parent is allowed to do while the child (the 7 yo) and if the 17 yo is capable of preventing any improper actions from taking place. I am sure the courts (or CPS or whatever agency is charged with dealing with this) would interview the 17 yo to determine if he is capable of what they are looking for, at least if the initial determination would allow for him to be considered. Is he game for that?

thanks for the reply, jk. I had previously posted more info on the whole situation under a different thread, so I mistakenly left out major pieces of the puzzle.

I was married to my ex and we have a 7 y/o son. Ex has been residential parent since we divorced, but I was recently informed that ex appeared to be drunk when he picked our 7 y/o up from the afterschool program.

Once I received notification of the situation from the school, I filed for a protection order and moved for reallocation of parental rights. 7 y/o has been with me since, but I've been hesitant to explain all the details.

As it happens, ex has had some other physical issues that make driving difficult, so I told the 7 y/o that he would be staying with me because daddy can't drive for a while. The 7 y/o isn't aware of any of the upcoming proceedings, and is content to stay with me, referring it as "vacation with mom" and "extra days" and such.

We haven't yet gone through the hearing, so the court may find that ex is NOT a danger (the DUI was not confirmed legally...just an email and phone call from the school) and put 7 y/o back into ex's custody. But my suspicion is that the testimony of the school employees (there were three of them) will be enough for the court to rule to grant me permanent custody of the 7 y/o.

The 17 y/o lives with ex and is VERY close to the 7 y/o (which is one of the big reasons I opted to give ex residential parent status) so I was wondering if he would be a suitable supervisor (he has a valid license and his own car, and is willing to report dad if needed in the best interest of the 7 y/o.

Sounds like the court can interview the 17 y/o and then determine if 17 y/o is appropriate supervisor? Just wanted to confirm that is in fact the case. Appreciate any insights you have.

Also, any free advice on how to answer the upcoming (and unavoidable) questions of the 7 y/o?

[QUOTE=ConcernedmomofOne;705943]thanks for the reply, jk. I had previously posted more info on the whole situation under a different thread, so I mistakenly left out major pieces of the puzzle.

I was married to my ex and we have a 7 y/o son. Ex has been residential parent since we divorced, but I was recently informed that ex appeared to be drunk when he picked our 7 y/o up from the afterschool program.

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We haven't yet gone through the hearing, so the court may find that ex is NOT a danger (the DUI was not confirmed legally...just an email and phone call from the school) and put 7 y/o back into ex's custody. But my suspicion is that the testimony of the school employees (there were three of them) will be enough for the court to rule to grant me permanent custody of the 7 y/o.

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it often does not take a guilty verdict in a criminal court to justify the civil courts dealing with this as if he was found guilty. Civil courts have a much lower threshold of proof and when it comes to family courts, it requires whatever the judge determines it takes. Witness testimony alone is adequate for some situations.

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The 17 y/o lives with ex and is VERY close to the 7 y/o (which is one of the big reasons I opted to give ex residential parent status) so I was wondering if he would be a suitable supervisor (he has a valid license and his own car, and is willing to report dad if needed in the best interest of the 7 y/o.

Sounds like the court can interview the 17 y/o and then determine if 17 y/o is appropriate supervisor? Just wanted to confirm that is in fact the case. Appreciate any insights you have.

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it could be allowed but as I said, especially not really knowing the situation, it is completely up to the courts or their appointees in the issue.

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Also, any free advice on how to answer the upcoming (and unavoidable) questions of the 7 y/o?

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sounds like you are actually doing quite well so far. I suspect you will come up with what it takes to deal with it properly. :)

You didn't say how the father is dealing with this but the lack of a claim of issues suggests maybe dad is doing the right thing as well. It is great when separated parents can realize the child is the important person in the relationship and act accordingly.

You didn't say how the father is dealing with this but the lack of a claim of issues suggests maybe dad is doing the right thing as well. It is great when separated parents can realize the child is the important person in the relationship and act accordingly.[/QUOTE]

Well, it's hard to know what Dad is up to. There is a no-contact clause in the protection order. So it is my fervent hope that he will take this opportunity to re-evaluate his health (mental and physical) and do whatever is required to get better. He might very well be in the process of filing some sort of counter-claim (or whatever the terminology is).

Hopefully though, he is getting help...because I don't believe that the testimony of three childcare professionals is a "misunderstanding". One person, I could see being mistaken...even two for that matter. But three? I believe he WAS under the influence and transporting our child in a vehicle. Which means HE.NEEDS.HELP and hopefully this change will serve as a motivator for him to get himself together for the sake of our child.

I won't know until the hearing, unless he files something in response, what it is he intends to do. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to keep my 7 y/o's routine as "normal" as it can be. So far, he hasn't asked very many questions, and seems content to stay with me for now, and that's the best I can ask for at this point.

Will keep you all updated. Appreciate the help, VERY much!