Non-Family Adult Male Sleeping with Minor

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: New York

I have three specific questions:

1. Is there any law that is being broken if a non-family member adult male sleeps in the same bed as a minor male child?

2. Is there any law that is being broken if a non-family member adult male engages in sexual intercourse with the mother of a minor male child when the minor child is present in the same bed? That is, the three of them are in the same bed when the adults engage in sexual intercourse?

3. If the answer is "No" to both of the above, is there any legal advice one would offer to someone who has observed these scenarios?

What is the age of the minor male child?

Also, please define "non-family". Are you talking random male? Boyfriend of Mom or Dad? Stepparent?

This is the situation OP is referring to.

Oh jeez.

Dad, there are hills to die upon. This, in my opinion, ain't one of 'em.

What, you and your wife never once got frisky when your son was in the room with you? He never once barged in without knocking?

My parenting advice? Stop trying to stick it to Mom. You're going to have a really miserable 8+ years otherwise.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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What, you and your wife never once got frisky when your son was in the room with you? He never once barged in without knocking?

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Well although I agree their situation is "different" I think your response is a bit weird itself. Having sex in a room with a child who has no idea what mommy and daddy are doing is completely different than doing it next to a child that does, in fact couldnt that somehow constitute indecent exposure to a child considering its not like the child accidentally walked into the room. But adults consciously aware that they are having intimate relations in a room with a pre-teen child who I'm sure knows what sex is.

Even more admittedly strange is you think this is ok, but chastise another poster in another thread about how she parents just because she wont tell her 14 year old to get out of a car.

I don't mean to call you out, its nothing personal, I just have been browsing this forum for a few days and my ridiculous meter finally pegged out.

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Quoting aMadDad

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Well although I agree their situation is "different" I think your response is a bit weird itself. Having sex in a room with a child who has no idea what mommy and daddy are doing is completely different than doing it next to a child that does, in fact couldnt that somehow constitute indecent exposure to a child considering its not like the child accidentally walked into the room. But adults consciously aware that they are having intimate relations in a room with a pre-teen child who I'm sure knows what sex is.

Even more admittedly strange is you think this is ok, but chastise another poster in another thread about how she parents just because she wont tell her 14 year old to get out of a car.

I don't mean to call you out, its nothing personal, I just have been browsing this forum for a few days and my ridiculous meter finally pegged out.

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If you can't tell the difference between a Mom not wanting to parent her child, and this Dad being peeved that Mom's boyfriend is staying over - well, I don't know what to tell you.

Your meter might be broken. :cool:

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Hell's bells - that came across far snippier than I intended (I didn't actually intend any snippy. My snippy allotment for this month is already used up). I do apologize!


Okay, it's important first to look at this OP's other thread. The child wasn't actually in the same bed. The way Mom will present this is that she and Boyfriend had no intention of deliberately exposing the child to any sort of sexual activity. They "honestly" believed kiddo was sleeping. Mom would also likely use the analogy of them all sharing an efficiency apartment. The courts do recognize that parents will inevitably move on, and yes, obviously have relations with someone who isn't the other parent.

Now, do I think it's tacky as hell what this Mom is doing? Oh hell yes. But is the court going to do anything about it? Not likely - not in the state of NY.

The further south we go geographically, the more likely it is that a local judge will take issue with the situation.

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Quoting cbg

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What is the age of the minor male child?

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12 years old.

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Quote:

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Also, please define "non-family". Are you talking random male? Boyfriend of Mom or Dad? Stepparent?

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Boyfriend of the mother.

Yeap, caught that from the other post.

Quote:

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Oh jeez.

Dad, there are hills to die upon. This, in my opinion, ain't one of 'em.

What, you and your wife never once got frisky when your son was in the room with you? He never once barged in without knocking?

My parenting advice? Stop trying to stick it to Mom. You're going to have a really miserable 8+ years otherwise.

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It's not that simple Dogmatique. We had an agreement that if she has the boyfriend over, they would sleep in the livingroom. Turns out they were in the same bed. I was fine with the guy coming over, until this happened. It just struck me as rather inappropriate.

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For the record, I have no issues with my wife being with another guy. We (or at least I) moved on in Auguest 2008. When I first met her boyfriend about a year ago, I was pleased for her because my first impression was that he was a nice guy. So this is not about me trying to stick it to her. I am just concerned that this is inappropriate and she doesn't seem to appreciate that. In addition, the next day when my son got home from school, he said, "What the **** mom. In my bedroom?" My son was also upset that he (my son) doesn't sleep with any clothing on. He is a modest kid, and could not believe that his mother would have another man in the same room as we without clothes on, much less in the same bed. He was very angry about the whole thing. We subsequently agreed that she would not have her boyfriend in his bed, but she has since done that without my son in it, and it still just feels very weird that his mother would have sex in his bed. It's especially upsetting because my son objects as well, and before you wonder whether I did anything to get him on my side, I can only assure I did nothing. His thoughts are his own, and anyone who has trouble seeing that he would feel this way must not be able to understand the scenario.

Anyway, my concern is that they will not only have sex in his bed when he's not there, but will also slip back into disregarding his presence, because neither of them seemed to understand that I could object, and my son's mother did not even say she was sorry to my son when he told her how he felt.

Also, I'd like to add that my son's mother travels for work and is here only on the weekend. I am at the apartment with my son on weekdays and usually spend one or two of the weekend nights with my girlfriend. I hope that clarifies the nature of the arrangement.