How Likely is Joint Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Iowa

My son is 2 years old and me and his father have been together for three years. Every time we fight he keeps telling me I will only get my son every other weekend. Last week I found out that he was not being faithful to me and I broke up with him, I knew right away he would try to take my son from me so I hired an attorney on Wednesday. Thursday he came home and got most of his stuff out of my house and then Friday he convinced me that he wasn't actually cheating and that if we went to court I would get 50/50 and waste alot of money on an attorney when we could write up the terms of custody and have an attorney sign it. So I called my attorney Friday morning and told him I would no longer need his services. My ex kept telling me over and over I will get 50/50 and he said he would pay for the attorney to draw up the paperwork if I agreed to it. He also kept telling me he was going to stay with his parents for a few days until things cooled off and then he would come back so we could work on our relationship. Well today I found some messages from the girl I thought he was cheating on me with and I figured out he was pretty much just trying to talk me out of my attorney so I told him I knew what he was doing and he says hes going to have me served with papers on Friday. So I don't know what I should do at this point. Should I retain another attorney or is it most likely I would get 50/50 anyway. He works out of town 3-4 days a week and before we split up I was taking care of my son and my other son all the time.

Okay, to clarify a couple of things :)

50/50 doesn't necessarily mean a 50/50 timeshare. It's often used to describe joint custody which basically means that both parents have some sort of physical custody.

Does Dad intend to stay very local?

He says if we do 50/50 he won't travel as much but right now he is gone 3-4 days per week and is 2-3 hours away. He wants it so we both get even amount of time with our child and wants to do every other holiday, no child support and wants to claim him every other year on taxes.

Hmm. I'm not sure that's going to work in the long term.

If you're okay with that, then by all means have another consultation with an attorney (not his!), and you can file a stipulated agreement with the courts.

If you're not okay with that, then you don't have to agree to anything at all. A true 50/50 timeshare is rarely ordered if the parents don't agree.

I don't think he should have joint custody due to the fact he works all the time, my child would be with his parents or at daycare more than he would be with his father.

You do not have to agree with him, you do not have to listen to him. Keep your attorney. Listen to your attorney's advice and NOT your ex's. Talk to your attorney about what is typical, and what is reasonable. There are so many different types of arrangements you could do.

If your ex is so bound to agree on something to keep things out of court, then maybe mediation is the way to go for you guys. But I will stress: do not give up your attorney. You have no idea how many kinks there are to work out other than just custody and visitation in a split parent situation. Something new will pop up every week and you'll want an attorney to help guide you through the mess.

He says he doesn't care if we go to court he just thinks I'd be wasting money, (I think he just doesn't want me to fight it). The only thing he will agree on is the 50/50. I've even offered me having him 4 days a week and him getting him three days a week and he refuses. I got permantly laid off from my job two weeks ago but I also do photography so I think he doesn't want to pay child support. He also has a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship and his court documents say he gets her every other weekend. I don't know why he's ok with that but wants our aon 50% of the time. I also have a 5 year old son from a previous relationship and its taking a toll on him because his father is deceased and he called my ex "dad". I just don't want to agree to something and regret it later for not even trying for more. I know my home is more stable for him but I've heard Iowa law likes to agree to joint custody.

Do you plan to continue to stay at home and do this photography business?

How do you do things now that you are together? Do you stay at home during the day? One of the best arguments is status quo. If you are the primary caregiver now, you simply argue in court that that should continue.

Also, if you decide to take it to court, present the judge with a reasonable parenting plan for his visitation. If you know he wants more than EOW, then offer him more than that. Show the judge you want him to play a meaningful part of the child's life and the judge may look favorably on you.

Well my last day of work was April 5th and this happened the following Tuesday but the plan was going to be that I would stay at home and do photography and take care of the kids. Since this has happened we have been doing 50/50 because the judge would not like it if I gave him less than that. And yes I plan to stay at home and see how my photography business goes. For instance last week I had our son Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Part of the day Friday then he picked him up Friday afternoon and brought him back Sunday afternoon. So this week I have him Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and he will get him Thursday afternoon and we haven't discussed what day he will be bringing him back

You've already been doing 50/50?

You will have a very hard time convincing a judge that 50/50 timeshare is not what is best for the child if you have already been doing it.

The things you do immediately after the break-up are the most important in the long-run.

Seriously, talk with your attorney.

Okay, now I see that you still have the child for most of the time. That's not really a 50/50 timeshare.

I removed my case from the attorney Friday so now I need to find a new one and wasn't sure if there was even a point sense he keeps telling me they will just give me 50/50.

STOP listening to your ex!! He wants 50/50 for a reason, and (since he's not home enough to utilize it) I must assume it's because he doesn't want to pay child support. Either beg the attorney you just let go to take you back, or find another one.
Do not listen to your ex.
Do not discuss this with your ex.
Do not believe what he tells you.
He is not your friend in this matter, and he does not have your best interest at heart.