My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas
My teenage daughter got pregnant by the young man she was dating and shortly thereafter decided they were not meant to be together. The relationship has not been friendly since. She has allowed him to come to doctor visits and he says he wants to be involved. His actions have left me seriously concerned. He does not have an established home and moves from place to place. The thought of him taking my grandchild out of my house scares me to death. She does not want him involved in her life at all. What can she do? There are details I will not post here. Please help
My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
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04-11-2013, 05:32 AMdudedadMy Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
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04-11-2013, 05:41 AMDisagreeableRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
So you are saying she chose poor genetic material to get knocked up by and has now decided the child is not worthy of having a father or to be supported by its father? Until paternity is proven, dad has no legal rights. Consider the moral rights of your grand child. They should be superior to the poor choices your daughter makes.
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04-11-2013, 05:48 AMgamRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father InvolvedThe age of your daughter is a needed detail.Quote:
Quoting dudedad
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04-11-2013, 05:51 AMdudedadRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
She is 19
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04-11-2013, 05:57 AMLehkRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
The only way for her to prevent the father from being involved when he wants to be is to not have the baby.
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04-11-2013, 06:01 AMdudedadRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
Suppose we convince him that it is in the best interest of the baby?
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04-11-2013, 06:04 AMgamRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
Then she is an adult and you have no say over what she does. Since this is in an unwed situation, at this time she does not have to have dad around her. However when the child is born, dad can file to establish paternity/custody/child support/parenting time. Dad will get parenting time, and he will get to take the child out of MOM'S HOUSE.
Your daughter can decide she does not want him involved in her life, however she does not get to decide that she does not want him involved in the childs life. Start by having your daughter google Texas, custody/child support/parenting time, read up on the process and laws.
Is your daughter using state medical insurance for the pregnancy and birth? If so the state can open a case and mom will have no choice but to cooperate with them.
You really need to back out of this, your daughter is going to be a mom, it's her child, and she has to make decisions. I do understand what you as a grandparent are going through, my own daughter got pregnant at 20. It's not the end of the world, your daughter still can have goals and accomplish them, more important now that she does. My daughter and her ex(who was also 20 at the time), both became college graduates, both grew up eventually and both work together to raise their child, even though they separated right after the child was born.
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Suppose you keep out of this, your going to make a bigger mess for your daughter and your grandchild. You can't convince him to just walk away, the courts don't allow that.Quote:
Quoting dudedad
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04-11-2013, 06:14 AMdudedadRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father Involved
right now the issue is, they can't seem to have a civil conversation and he has asked me what to do. I and my wife are the only parents involved. I am trying to keep details out of the conversation that may identify me. There has even been discussion of my wife and I adopting. The kids want to have me sit down with them and figure this out. She wants me to negotiate his going away. Whether I like it or not, I am involved. One minute he wants to be dad, the next he wants her to have a dna test. Then offers to go away if it will make my daughter happy. I appreciate your direct advice, but that happy ending like you just described is not a likely scenario in this situation.
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04-11-2013, 06:23 AMgamRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father InvolvedYou should not be in the middle, get them into counseling where a 3rd party with no BIAS, can assist them. You and your wife are bias, your 3rd parties, it's never good as 3rd parties who have close ties to one party to get in the middle. Not even if they ask you to.Quote:
Quoting dudedad
Your daughter needs to grow on up, and start having civil conversations with her ex, she chose him to father her baby, she has to deal with him for the next 18 years. -
04-11-2013, 06:29 AMllworkingRe: My Unwed Daughter Doesn't Want Father InvolvedOkay, lets go over a few items:Quote:
Quoting dudedad
She doesn't have to have anything to do with him during the pregnancy. She doesn't have to allow him to go to the doctor's appointments or anything else. She can completely ignore him until after the baby is born.
It is generally accepted wisdom that all unwed fathers should have DNA tests to make sure that they are the fathers...for the sake of the children. Everybody knows for sure who the mother is, the only way to be absolutely certain who the father is, is through a DNA test. Its not an insult to the mothers, its a practical matter.
You would not be able to adopt without the express permission of both parents.
If he wants visitation and joint legal custody (joint decision making) he WILL get that. Its a foregone conclusion. The thing that is not a foregone conclusion is what kind of parenting schedule he would get. However, TX does have very standard guidelines and those do tend to be followed by the courts. Do a google search for those guidelines.