5 Year Old Lost 15 Pounds

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Oregon

Is significant weight loss in a child over a short period of time considered neglect or abuse? Should I be concerned and take action or am I over-reacting?

I'm concerned because my 5 year old has lost close to 15 pounds since Christmas for sure. Before the holiday my oldest weighed approx 70+ pounds. She now weighs 55 pounds. That seems a little extreme. When I questioned Dad on this, he said that they started being more active and eating properly.

I've questioned the children on their eating habits, but it's difficult getting specific answers from a 3 and 5 year old.. I do notice that there are occasions where I will pick them up for my time and ask about their meals that day and they either didn't have anything to eat, or only one meal that day. (Average meeting time, 3 or 6pm)

I also question them on the types of activities they do.. They don't talk about going to the park much, mention of walks and things they do with daddy outside are few and far between.

I live 150 miles away and see my children every other weekend. Arrangements were made for the previous winter season due to the fact that there is a mountain pass between us. I didn't see the children for a couple months during this time. This being why I noticed the substantial weight loss. Both children seem to be getting close to bones, I wouldn't say they are at an unhealthy stage as of yet, but I'm concerned.

Dad refused to give me information on their health care: who their doctor was/is, which clinic they go to, when the last time they went was. (That's whole different issue)

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Is significant weight loss in a child over a short period of time considered neglect or abuse? Should I be concerned and take action or am I over-reacting?

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it could be or it could be the result of an illness or, if the child was extremely obese, a possibly too fast weight loss but intended as part of a weight loss program.

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I'm concerned because my 5 year old has lost close to 15 pounds since Christmas for sure. Before the holiday my oldest weighed approx 70+ pounds. She now weighs 55 pounds. That seems a little extreme. When I questioned Dad on this, he said that they started being more active and eating properly.

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there is more to determining a proper weight than age. Height and build are more important than age. Just a very quick look at a growth chart suggests she was overweight before and might even still be a bit overweight.

Start with just looking at the child. Does she look overweight? underweight? obese? emaciated? That is a good place to start. Then, start looking at growth charts. There are many on the internet easily accessible.

If you still have questions, contact the child's doctor and speak with him/her.

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Dad refused to give me information on their health care: who their doctor was/is, which clinic they go to, when the last time they went was. (That's whole different issue)

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do any court orders require him to provide that info to you?

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I'm concerned because my 5 year old has lost close to 15 pounds since Christmas for sure. Before the holiday my oldest weighed approx 70+ pounds. She now weighs 55 pounds. That seems a little extreme. When I questioned Dad on this, he said that they started being more active and eating properly.

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Given that the average healthy weight for a five year-old girl is between 40 and 50 pounds, I think you should maybe thank Dad for looking after her health.

No, a child going from obese to a healthy weight in 4 months is NOT child abuse. You are completely over-reacting.

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Quoting jk

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it could be or it could be the result of an illness or, if the child was extremely obese, a possibly too fast weight loss but intended as part of a weight loss program.

there is more to determining a proper weight than age. Height and build are more important than age. Just a very quick look at a growth chart suggests she was overweight before and might even still be a bit overweight.

Start with just looking at the child. Does she look overweight? underweight? obese? emaciated? That is a good place to start. Then, start looking at growth charts. There are many on the internet easily accessible.

do any court orders require him to provide that info to you?

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This is what my order says: Both parents have equal rights to consult with any person who may provide care or treatment for the children and to inspect and receive the children’s medical, dental and psychological records.

then, if you choose to enforce your rights, you could take the other parent to court and have the court order that information be disclosed.

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Quoting LawResearcherMissy

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Given that the average healthy weight for a five year-old girl is between 40 and 50 pounds, I think you should maybe thank Dad for looking after her health.

No, a child going from obese to a healthy weight in 4 months is NOT child abuse. You are completely over-reacting.

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Okay. So, I shouldn't be concerned now, only if she continues to loose weight. Thanks.

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Quoting jk

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then, if you choose to enforce your rights, you could take the other parent to court and have the court order that information be disclosed.

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In that case, while I'm at it.. Is it too late to request the court to allow me make up parenting time since he refused to allow me to see my children for the first year that the order was put in place?

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Quoting JillianS

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In that case, while I'm at it.. Is it too late to request the court to allow me make up parenting time since he refused to allow me to see my children for the first year that the order was put in place?

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he refused? What did you do to attempt to enforce the courts order? Unless this is the first year, it's unlikely they would even listen to you about it.

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Quoting jk

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he refused? What did you do to attempt to enforce the courts order? Unless this is the first year, it's unlikely they would even listen to you about it.

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I went to the court to request a copy of my order so I could prepare to file enforcement. From that week on, he's pretty much been following the order. He does a lot of things that I don't like, but there isn't much I can do about it. After most of the questions I've asked in this forum, I'm pretty much stuck in the situation that I have and that's that. So, I'll just focus on trying to get as much parenting time as I can.

Thanks for your replies. I'm sure I'll be back with more at a later date.

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Okay. So, I shouldn't be concerned now, only if she continues to loose weight. Thanks.

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Even then...unless she's down to 30 pounds, no real need to worry.

Kids have weird weight fluctuations all the time. My Elder Monster dropped some weight at around age 6, was considered underweight for his age, and we joked that we'd have to put him on the Butter And Lard Diet. He has remained whip thin his entire life, even though he can put away a whole large pizza with everything in a sitting. He's 21 now, 5' 11", and weighs 125 pounds. Takes after his old man.

If your daughter shows signs of being alarmingly underweight, take her to a doc in your area for a checkup to ease your mind.

Thanks again.

I just feel so helpless..