What is the Likelihood That the Grandparents Will Change Visitation

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oregon

My Ex's parents want to request visitation rights due to the fact that since he was using them as his babysitter's while he was at work, our children have spent a substantial amount of time with them and it would be harmful to take that away from the children. Our custody hearing was in May of 2011, so it's been going on two years now. Prior to this hearing and approx. 6 months before that even, my children and I lived with his parents, and just before that he and I were still together. During the first few years of my oldest childs life, she spent a significant amount of time with these grandparents. (I just want to say here, that while I don't completely agree with the things they have to say, I am not against them seeing my children at all. They are family and after growing up with them in their lives, I feel it's not within the childs best interest to have them ripped out of their lives.)

About a month or so ago, maybe longer, my Ex got into a fight with his parents and denied contact completely. I do my best to keep myself out of their affairs, but now I've been involved because the grandparents go through me to see and speak to their grandchildren. Rock and hard place, does my ex have the right to dictate who the children see during my parenting time? If he does, then I am in the wrong and will adjust accordingly. I didn't know.

Now, here I am in the middle. His mother and father continually tell me about bad things that my children tell them about their dad. Frankly, it's gotten me a little worried about their well-being and I'm not sure how to go about making things right.

Here's where my real question comes into play, if they were to request visitation, is there the possibility, that with the information they have been providing me about possible abuse and neglect, that the judge would also find my ex as not a suitable primary? I'd love to finally be the primary parent in all this, I've felt the original decision was the wrong one.

Honestly, I think everyone is just yanking my chain. His family feels that he isn't the proper person that should primarily be taking care of the children and that I am more suitable and stable to do so. Therefore, there is talk that 'everything will change'.

Can they do this? Or are they yanking my heart strings here?

I think they're playing a very cruel and unfair game.

They've been fine with neglect and abuse all this time and not done a thing about it? It didn't bother them until they had a fight with Dad?

- - - Updated - - -

And nope, Dad CANNOT dictate who you allow the children to see during your parenting time.

It's my understanding that while his sister was living with my ex and our two children that there was some sort of breakdown and he hasn't been 'the same in the head' as they put it. This was just a few months ago.

I've always been a little leary about him due to his aggressive attitudes and the mental anguish that I suffered while I was with him. But, he seemed to have moved on from that. I stated in court that I felt he was a fine dad. I didn't feel that his previous tentancies would be an issue.

And thank you, I didn't think he could make those calls. What about his own contact while they are in my care? He spends a much larger portion of time with the children than I do, am I wrong to feel that its solely my time and that he shouldn't be insisting on speaking to them over the phone? Its really not an issue aside from the the fact that they don't want to talk to him and usually act out negatively after its concluded.

I had them this weekend and he was unable to speak to them because both nights they were already asleep in bed. Now hes threatening my visitation

Generally, the courts are okay with either parent having telephone contact during the time when the kids are with the other parent. Dad could feasibly make a fuss and have it court ordered.

My personal feelings on the subject are that it's rarely in the best interest of the child/ren because it's so often simply a power play between the parents. Alas, my feelings aren't the law :)

Thank you for your response. I just walk on egg shells with the guy. Talk about power play: "Don't let the kids see these people, don't let them talk to this person, you can't take them to that place, and if you don't do what I say, you won't see them anymore. You're a bad mom and I'll go to court and take away your visitation completely then move to Colorado."

There needs to be a control freak clause or stupidity clause... or some clause..

Right now we just have a basic/generic parenting plan in place. It even says that it's to be used as a guide. Dad and kids live 150 miles away and my parenting time is every other weekend and we swap holidays. My children are 3 and 5 and the oldest will be starting school this next fall.

Dad won't alter from the generic plan, in fact, in the beginning since it states that children under a certain age can only be with the non custodial parent for one night (it's my understanding that this only applied to children who didn't already have a relationship with them, however he saw differently,) and my eldest being in the braket for two nights, I would drive halfway (70 miles) to pick up my oldest by 6pm on friday. Then saturday, I would drive halfway to pick up my youngest, and then drive halfway again to drop them off on sunday. I've been jumping through hoops..

Is it reasonable to go back to court and ask for more time and to set up a more specific parenting plan? How does that process work, and in what instances do judges usually rule against the change? For?