Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
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Quoting
FatherWhoWon
Personally, I don't think adoption is a good choice here. It's not necessary to deprive the child of a relationship with her father motivated largely by financial factors and the desire to move away. She isn't even remarried yet, and you want her to replace daddy with him. That doesn't seem good for kiddo at all. And it doesn't seem like daddy would actually agree to that. Probably not the best way to build a coparenting relationship by asking him to give his daughter up.
I think that, if relocation is qranted (not going to guess at your chances of that happening), dad paying for travel expenses in lieu of child support is a good idea provided they are comparable amounts. I also think that a month in the summer is far too short. He should really be getting almost the whole summer, maybe less the week after school lets out and the week before it begins. Give him spring break, trade Christmas break every other year, and as many other school breaks as possible.
Providing daycare for a child for a month in Las Vegas is going to run at least $500 per month. My ex absolutely cannot afford that. His take home pay is only $1,800 per month...and that is without any garnishments.
That is why I say, I would be willing to give him 1 month of summer. I would also be willing to fly our daughter to Las Vegas one weekend per month and alternate the Christmas and Thanksgiving and Spring Break. He will have less of a financial burden overall especially if I wave the child support.
The move isn't just because of income. Neither me, nor my fiance, want to raise a family in Las Vegas. We truly believe that the new area we are wanting to move to (where he has his new job) is superior for raising a family. Not saying Las Vegas is a bad place to live, just saying there is way too much negative associations/atmosphere's with this city. Our daughter will also be able to interact with her biological grandparents every week.
A cooperating relationship is already gone and probably will never happen. I have a TPO against him, my fiance is in the process of gaining one, and it has been now ordered that there will be no contact closer than 20 yards at drop off due to his aggressive behavior. Not to mention there is an upcoming misdemeanor battery charge against him.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
Quote:
Quoting
FatherWhoWon
Personally, I don't think adoption is a good choice here. It's not necessary to deprive the child of a relationship with her father motivated largely by financial factors and the desire to move away. She isn't even remarried yet, and you want her to replace daddy with him. That doesn't seem good for kiddo at all. And it doesn't seem like daddy would actually agree to that. Probably not the best way to build a coparenting relationship by asking him to give his daughter up.
I think that, if relocation is qranted (not going to guess at your chances of that happening), dad paying for travel expenses in lieu of child support is a good idea provided they are comparable amounts. I also think that a month in the summer is far too short. He should really be getting almost the whole summer, maybe less the week after school lets out and the week before it begins. Give him spring break, trade Christmas break every other year, and as many other school breaks as possible.
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Money isn't what makes a good parent. And $120,000 is more than enough for the child to be well cared for.
I agree, Dad.
But unfortunately it often boils down to money versus best interest.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
Quote:
Quoting
FatherWhoWon
...
Money isn't what makes a good parent. And $120,000 is more than enough for the child to be well cared for.
$200,000 will provide a far better life than $120,000. We would be able to pay for all college, extracurricular activities, vacations, etc. far easier with this level of income. Not too mention there will be a drastically reduced amount of stress off of us as parents to financially be able to give my daughter and our future children the best chance we can give them at a college education.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
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Quoting
kathy1981
Providing daycare for a child for a month in Las Vegas is going to run at least $500 per month. My ex absolutely cannot afford that. His take home pay is only $1,800 per month...and that is without any garnishments.
That is why I say, I would be willing to give him 1 month of summer. I would also be willing to fly our daughter to Las Vegas one weekend per month and alternate the Christmas and Thanksgiving and Spring Break. He will have less of a financial burden overall especially if I wave the child support.
The move isn't just because of income. Neither me, nor my fiance, want to raise a family in Las Vegas. We truly believe that the new area we are wanting to move to (where he has his new job) is superior for raising a family. Not saying Las Vegas is a bad place to live, just saying there is way too much negative associations/atmosphere's with this city. Our daughter will also be able to interact with her biological grandparents every week.
A cooperating relationship is already gone and probably will never happen. I have a TPO against him, my fiance is in the process of gaining one, and it has been now ordered that there will be no contact closer than 20 yards at drop off due to his aggressive behavior. Not to mention there is an upcoming misdemeanor battery charge against him.
Here's the thing. You chose to live in Vegas. Is it fair to remove the child from the area because you want a do over?
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kathy1981
$200,000 will provide a far better life than $120,000. We would be able to pay for all college, extracurricular activities, vacations, etc. far easier with this level of income. Not too mention there will be a drastically reduced amount of stress off of us as parents to financially be able to give my daughter and our future children the best chance we can give them at a college education.
And what about DAD'S stress?
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
I was rather hoping mom would be considering her child's best interest here herself. I'm going to give her the benefit of assuming that that is at least part of her thought process.
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Hmmm.... Maybe not
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
Is it really in the best interest of the child to be around a father who has shown violence toward the family? She has the right to move and provide the BEST for her daughter. She's not chained to her ex.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
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Quoting
Dogmatique
Here's the thing. You chose to live in Vegas. Is it fair to remove the child from the area because you want a do over?
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And what about DAD'S stress?
Edit: I do not want a do over. Saying I want a do over is saying I wish my child was never born.
I cannot control DAD'S financial stress. He has chosen his route.
FatherWhoWon:
"I was rather hoping mom would be considering her child's best interest here herself. I'm going to give her the benefit of assuming that that is at least part of her thought process.
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Hmmm.... Maybe not "
And yes, I am considering our daughter's best interest. I plan on giving her ample time with her father, to the point that he doesn't go a month without seeing her. What is not considerate about that? Should I be punished for putting our lives in a better financial position that will allow us to live a far better life financially? I think not. What parent doesn't want to give more to there child? Your response leads me to believe that you wouldn't want to do better.
Not to mention the chance of my daughter being exposed to her father committing DV against me or my fiance is nearly eliminated.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
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Quoting
kathy1981
$200,000 will provide a far better life than $120,000. We would be able to pay for all college, extracurricular activities, vacations, etc. far easier with this level of income. Not too mention there will be a drastically reduced amount of stress off of us as parents to financially be able to give my daughter and our future children the best chance we can give them at a college education.
You have a case for moving. You're not denying him visitation. It may be harder, but your child's welfare comes first. He also has the choice to move closer. If he's that interested in visiting, he can move a little closer and find a job.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
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Quoting
johnb123
Is it really in the best interest of the child to be around a father who has shown violence toward the family? She has the right to move and provide the BEST for her daughter. She's not chained to her ex.
The court has ALREADY decided that Dad is FIT to be around the child.
The violence? DOES NOT MATTER at this point. Kiddo is STILL going to be visiting with Dad, no matter what - it's absolutely pointless to keep going on and on about the DV.
Does that sound harsh? Perhaps.
But it's also the legal reality.
Re: Fiance is Relocating to Different State for New Job.now What
Mom, I am not saying you should or should not be allowed to move away. I believe I told you I'm not going to guess at your chances. But, I do think the idea of adoption is just awful, and I think you need to focus on trying to give dad as much time as possible if you are granted the relocation. You think him being able to see daughter once a month is somehow generous? Put yourself in his shoes. And be aware, that if you are not granted a move-away, a judge may look at what you thought was reasonable time for him and give it to you.
And I still say money isn't everything. Sure, we'd all like a little more cash in our wallets. But the difference between 120,000 and 200,000 isn't worth the frequent time lost with dad.