Establishing Paternity of a 13-Year-Old With a Presumed Father

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Tennessee I'll try to keep this short. I was contacted a week ago via email from a long time friend( Whom i trust implicitly) telling me that a mutual friend of ours confided in her that her 13 year old son was really mine and not her husband, who had died in 2007 form a crack cocaine induced heart attack. I do remember having sex with the girl years ago at a friends house after some margaritas (I'm 39 now). I went right away and file a intent to claim paternity with the juvenile courts and ( everyone don't panic when I say this) have decided to represent myself. Yes I know so don't bother beating for that little jewel but I cant afford to spend 2500 and I am constantly speaking in public and give presentations to my job so lets move on so I don't get rattled easily . The mother wish nothing to do with me or has any desire to work this out, so I'm left with this unpleasant avenue. I had her severed personally that very day. Now to my questions. Where do I truly stand here in regards to surname changes, her getting ssi from the dead husband, back child support, visitation and if she's so sure I'm the father and she lied on the birth certificate, I'd like to know if there's specific laws that deal with the fraud. I'V researched the net extensively on the subjects so I know all the could and maybes, what I'm looking for is hard statute not just random advice. I know what most are thinking and yes my primary concerns are that I'v lost 13 years with this child and how I will start to build a relationship with him and that I will never see him walk for the first time or talk and there's a real good chance I'll never hear him call me father. With that said I cant go in to this very aggressive world of the courts assuming that all will be daisies and sunshine. I need hard statutes to use on my behave in case it become nasty. She will no doubt have a free family law advocate. Lastly the child has been diagnosed with Asperger's as was I at in 1994.

Okay - one question before we go further.

The child has/had a legal father, correct?

If so - and yes, I'm going to ask this before we even start looking at statutes - why is it in the child's best interest for you to suddenly appear?

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Yes the child had a legal father. I have no idea if the mother planted the information with our mutual friend or if it was truly a confession out of guilt that she just needed to get off her mind. As far as I know the mother doesn't know that her best friend has emailed me and we still have contact. I have considered both angles i have been friends since jr. high with our mutual friend and she has always been unnaturally honest almost to a fault you mite say.

Was the child born within the marriage?

If he was, there is no fraud - there is a presumption of paternity when a child is born within a marriage.

If the child was not, it's still going to be a terrifically uphill battle at this point. The court will essentially make a decision based upon the best interests of the child. Given that you haven't been involved at all during his 13 years, and given that he had a father who raised him, I believe your chances are slim at best.

Forget paternity fraud at this point. If the court does approve the petition for paternity (which, to be blunt, is incredibly unlikely) and it turns out you are the biological father, then we move to "best interest" - in other words, biology may not matter at all.

The mother was married but they were separated, not legally, they remained married till his OD. From my understanding there was little no contacted with the child. He did have another child with this woman . He is 5 years older than the child in question and was his bio child he did see him twice a month. My primary interest, if this is my son that is, will be to began a relationship with him and assume any responsibility's. I am concerned for his best interest and I have read a great deal online about these matters but specific statues are what will help me understand what the laws really say, so I can hopefully weed out some of the unknown before I walk across this court room mine field. Considering I'm far from a legal expert, I really feel I need a database of these statutes so that I may arm myself before trail.

So the reason you did not have contact with the child, is because you were never told you might have a child. The court will take this into consideration. Have you looked into getting a paternity test? Since you did not know about the child, the court will look into your life. Do you have a stable job? A place to live? Any arrest? Maybe questions on your relationships. I would not push anything about fraud with the mother. Try and make peace with her, as much as you can. Do not make waves. It will only hurt your chances.

Okay, so there's no paternity fraud at all.

If you're determined to go ahead with this, you really need an attorney.

Weed through this, too: http://www.state.tn.us/tccy/tnchild/24/24-7-113.htm

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(2) The challenger must institute the proceeding upon notice to the other signatory and other necessary parties including the Title IV-D agency within five (5) years of the execution of the acknowledgment, and if the court finds based upon the evidence presented at the hearing that there is substantial likelihood that fraud, duress, or a material mistake of fact existed in the execution of the acknowledgment of paternity, then, and only then, the court shall order parentage tests.

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You are obviously beyond the 5 year SOL, and it really doesn't matter at this point whether or not Dad had a relationship with the child. Given that there was no fraud involved (presumed paternity), once again you have an uphill battle.

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Quoting johnb123

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So the reason you did not have contact with the child, is because you were never told you might have a child. The court will take this into consideration. Have you looked into getting a paternity test? Since you did not know about the child, the court will look into your life. Do you have a stable job? A place to live? Any arrest? Maybe questions on your relationships.

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Have you bothered to actually read about challenging paternity? The court won't care if he was never told - HE is responsible to "check up", if you will, on the women to whom he gifted his little soldiers.

The rest of your post is completely irrelevant.

I have file for and had a personal friend serve the papers to establish paternity. I am married and own my own home and two cars. I'm Data analyst and consultant for a company that does process troubleshooting and optimization. 9 years ago I had a felony assault.... breaking a mans jaw in a bar fight. NO I had no clue she was ever even pregnant. If I had thought for a second I had a son I would of been by his side from birth. I'm not really focused on the fraud guys that was a side note in case I needed ammo

Dancroft, honestly, your history doesn't matter when it comes to establishing paternity and (assuming you're allowed to establish paternity) filing for visitation. A felony assault from 9 years ago isn't going to matter. It also doesn't matter if you're unemployed and living in a shelter. IF you are allowed to establish paternity, you do have a constitutional right to help parent your child - even if you get only supervised visitation.

What IS important is basically uprooting this 13 year old's life.

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Quoting Dancroft

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I have file for and had a personal friend serve the papers to establish paternity. I am married and own my own home and two cars. I'm Data analyst and consultant for a company that does process troubleshooting and optimization. 9 years ago I had a felony assault.... breaking a mans jaw in a bar fight. NO I had no clue she was ever even pregnant. If I had thought for a second I had a son I would of been by his side from birth.

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All of this will be considered. If you can prove the child is your's, you do have rights. It appears some people on here don't like me personally, so please ignore their comments about me. You need a lawyer for this. Do not make waves with the mother, no matter what has happened. For the sake of the child, do what you can to make peace.

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The ultimate goal when deciding custody is to provide a stable, loving and nurturing environment for the child. A Tennessee court must consider a list of factors, called the "best interests of the child" standard, when making a custody decision. The list includes the child's relationship with each parent, which parent is the child's primary caregiver, each parent's ability to raise the child, each parent's financial ability to provide food, clothing, shelter and other necessities, either parent's history of drug and/or alcohol abuse and any history of emotional or physical abuse. The court must also consider the child's preference if the child is 12 or older, but can hear the child's preference at its discretion if the child is under 12 years old. Greater weight is given to the preference of an older child.