Child Does Not Want to See Non-Custodial Parent

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TX

My child will be 14 soon but has not wanted to see his father for several months. I should state from the outset that he has made allegations of inappropriate contact (corporal punishment and more) and I did witness some of these events.

We are separated, there is no action pending thus no orders. His dad has not called him, emailed him, or contacted me to even see how he has been for the last couple months and out of the blue I got a note that he wants to see his child.

Because of the history that our child has related to a mandatory reporter, who in turn did notify CPS, I am very afraid of what our child will go through if he is forced to spend time with his father. I have not told him yet about the note. Experience tells me that this would not be a good time for our child as his dad has a way for twisting the truth and would spend most of their time together trying to convince him that things never happened, etc.

I dont have a problem with him seeing him otherwise, I would be okay with supervised visitation so that they spent quality time together and not treat our child like a piece of meat on the bar-b-q.

With no order in place, how should I handle this?

Thank you,

Eve_

A couple of clarification questions that will help us to give appropriate answers:

1) when you say you and dad are separated, does this mean you are married, possibly pending divorce, or were you and dad never married?

2) what was the nature of the report to CPS, how long ago was it made, and what was the outcome of CPS involvement? (this can be a big factor in whether regular or supervised visitation would be ordered)

3) dad aside, what is currently being done for the child in regard to the events that have made the child apprehensive? (is the child getting any sort of counseling?)

With no order in place, assuming you and dad are married, from a legal standpoint, dad has exact equal rights to the child that you so. From a practical standpoint however, "possession" is 9/10th of the law and without an order in place to the contrary, you're not required to turn the child over to dad for visitation. You can always make the offer to dad that visitation occur in your presence or with some other trusted party (an unofficial supervision), or if dad balks at that idea and you're concerned for your child's physical or emotional safety, you can tell dad that without an order you're not going to comply with his request and that he's welcome to seek a visitation order from the courts (and that you'll be asking for that visitation to be supervised). Be aware that unless there has been a CPS finding that supports supervised visitation, that even if supervision is granted, it's usually for a short time unless the court finds reason to put conditions on dad that must be met, such as parenting class, drug testing, etc.

Hello Catherine,

Let me see if I can provide you with a bit more info.

1. We are separated. We are not divorced nor legaly separated. We have been maried over 15 years.

2. The report was made by his therapist (which should answer your third question) to CPS after he related memories both recent and past.

I do have an attorney, and the CPS issue is that nobody knows if CPS is going to decide it's an issue. There are no substance abuse issues, just textbook sociopath stuff. I was just hoping to get some input, since it is our son who made these issues known to his therapist, Im concerned that my son will suffer at the callous mental abuse he's got a doctorite in. He is anybodys worst nightmare when hes just in a regular mood. Those are my concerns, if the stuff our son said he did and the recent stuff made husband think there is a CPS investigation pending, his sudden desire to see him now that hes sure there is not an investigation terrifies me. I know it does our son as well though I never talk about that around him. thank you
Eve