Minor Modification of Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

My ex and I live 70 miles away from each other. The child is 3,5 now. When we had our hearing in October the judge gave my husband 32% of the time, which was three extended weekends a month plus visitations during the day on Wednesday. My ex does not come here on Wednesdays but he does use the rest of the time. When we had our meeting in October I was still in school and didn't really care about weekends time. Now I have a full time job and it makes me really sad, because I do not have quality time with my child with the exception of that one weekend. I tried to talk to the ex about modifying his schedule a little bit (without reducing his time) but he is ignoring me. Do you think I have a chance in court if I ask for a slight modification? I am really scared to go court because there is a possibility of 50/50 and I want to avoid it because in a year and a half we will have to decide on where the child goes to school

What are you actually wanting to do?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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What are you actually wanting to do?

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Well, I was actually thinking of either splitting his 32% into two visits (four nights and five days per visit), or shifting one of his visits two days earlier, so that I can pick him up on Saturday night. My ex has Fridays and Saturdays off, he works nights and available all day and lives with his parents who babysit the child while he is at work. So any sort of slight modification won't affect his relationship with the child, since he is available during the day.

Given that the order was only made very recently, I'm not sure a judge will be too impressed with either of you wanting to modify already. If you do want to go ahead (given that Dad doesn't agree with your proposal), you'll have to take it to court.

The dad does not say yes or no. He just ignores my requests and enjoys the situation. So you are advising me not to do it , because my impatience will irritate the judge and I may end up with the 50/50 situation?

I'm not advising anything :)

I'm saying that if you take it to court already based upon what the court might consider lack of forethought on your part (you wouldn't be school forever, right?), you may end up not getting quite what you want.

I'm not advising anything either, but in my personal (non-legal) opinion, it would be worth it to try to change the order. You are a custodial parent with very little quality time with your children. That is very sad to me. Do you have a lawyer? Maybe have your lawyer send a formal letter asking your ex for the request. If he responds negatively, or still doesn't respond at all, then take it back to court.

But I agree with Dogmatique, that you really should have thought things through about the next couple months ahead when you were in court last time. The judge probably will ask you why you didn't think about that.

Our court hearing was a big mess and I was a way too emotional. I didnt even think that I would end up with a court order like that because I was a primary and the only caregiver of my child for the first three years of his life. It was completely my mistake because I went to court unprepared. I learnt my lesson and I am thinking of hiring a lawyer, but even before I do that I wanted to ask what other people think. Thank you very much for your advice.

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I have another quick question about the way calculate time percentage. The court order says that the father shall have the 1st, 2nd and 4th weekends of the month, from Friday 10 am till Monday, 4 pm and every Wednesday from 10 am to 4 pm. The percent of time given is 32%. According to my calculations, wednesday visitations were never included into the calculation of his time share. Is it a general practice for calculating parents time?